It was late at night when my phone vibrated on my nightstand. The caller ID read "Hat Rack" and an old photo of said individual lit up the background.
"What?" I groaned, not too please that I had been woken up.
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?" the man of the other side whinnied.
"Would I what?"
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?" he repeated.
"What kind of question is that?"
"...would you?"
"Yes, dear. I would still love you if you were a worm."
"Yay!" he cheered before hanging up.
Still confused, I deicide to message my former underling.
Dazai:
Akutagawa
Akutagawa:
Dazai? What's the matter? You never message me.
Dazai:
Do you have any idea why Chuuya would call me and ask if I'd still love him if he was a worm?
Akutagawa:
He's probably drunk again. Since you left the PM it would happen once a week but since he found out that you're now working for the ADA it's been happening more often.
Dazai:
How do you know all of that?
Akutagawa:
After you left he'd come crying to me drunk as a sailor.
Dazai:
Hehe...sorry...
Akutagawa:
Now it's your turn to deal with drunk Chuuya. Good luck.
A drunk Chuuya does not sound ideal to work with at the moment but I'll be a good boyfriend.
I got into a taxi and gave the driver the address to a corner store not far from my lover's apartment since I didn't want to give away his home address. It didn't take long to get to his apartment from the shop and once I got there I used the spare key he gave me to enter his home. He greeted me with a pistol pointed at my head.
"Oh, it's just you," he said and placed the gun down.
Guess he sobered up a bit, but not by too much.
"That's one way to welcome guests"
"Go eat a dick"
"Only if it's yours"
My response almost made him spit out his drink.
"Mind pouring me a glass Chibi."
He rolled his eyes before grabbing me a wine glass from the cabinet.
"Wow, I'm surprised you could reach that!"
"You're such a dick"
"Love you too Chuu~ya"
"I hope you step on a Lego"
"You're so mean Pipsqueak"
"You get what you dish out."
He replied, handing me a glass of wine before refilling his glass. We sit in comfortable silence and refill our glasses as we desire. It didn't take long for Chuuya to become drunk again since he's a lightweight.
"You know, I'd love you if you were a worm," he said resting his head on my shoulder.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, and if anyone stepped on you I'd kill them"
"I know. Hey Chibi"
"Yeah?"
"I love you"
"I know"
"Do you love me?" I asked slowly taking my phone out to record he answer.
"What kind of dumbass question is that?! Of course I love you, you waste of bandages! Whether human or worm I love you and I swear to God that if anyone hurts you it'll be the last thing they do! I fucking love you, you tall motherfucker!" he hollered before hugging me around the waist and lowering his voice to a whisper.
"I love you so much Osamu, more than anything and anyone. I love you more than wine. You're all mine, no one else's, all mine, I love you Osamu" he continued before falling asleep while cuddling me.
"Goodnight my love."
YOU ARE READING
BSD Oneshots
FanfictionA bunch of Bungo Stray Dogs oneshots. Cover art and characters are not mine.
