Life After Sin

10. Promises don't last forever

There will have angst, self harm and depression.

Angel dust

My hands tremble as I continue folding the laundry. Only one thing clear in my mind.

The voicemail.

"I miss you and come over when you can..please?" Those words repeating in my head over and over again. Flashbacks of my human life replaying in my head. Every time she would sheild me from Pops or Arackniss, bandaging my wounds, trying to help me get over my addiction. How do I repay her, by getting her killed. Some twin I am. A few days ago I was fine, now it feels like everything is falling apart.

I subconsciously walk towards the bathroom only one thing in mind. The knife I keep hidden within my boot.

Locking the bathroom door behind me, I lean against the door, sliding down it and sitting on the cold tiled floor. Taking the knife out I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, debating rather or not to talk to Alastor before going through with this. Remembering the promise I had made months ago but something is keeping me from keeping that promise.

The unresistable need to punish myself for everything I had done to Molly, from taking our mom away from her to being the sole reason for her death. Staring into the reflection of the blade I see pink eyes staring back at me. I imagine blue human eyes, a trait Pops said I shared with mama.

Without a second though I take off my gloves from all my arms pressing the cold blade against my arm, pricking it at first, a single drop of blood falls. Eventually that isn't enough, I need more. First it's one cut, then two and three. My arm soon covered in cuts, blood dripping onto the flood.

This still isn't enough eventually my other arms are covered in just as many cuts. It isn't until after the fact that I realize what I have done. Regret fills me, making me sick to my stomach. The only thing I can think to do is run a bath, I don't want the blood staining my fur.

A burning sensation sensation runs through my body, soap and water running along my cuts. Blood mixing with the water, staining it red. I don't want this feeling to end but I have to get out eventually. Reluctantly I step, grabbing and plugging in my hairdryer I start to dry all my fur. The only downside to having all this beautiful fur.

While putting my clothes on I hear a knock on the door, panic immediately sets in as I rush to start bandaging my arms. "Angel darling you've been in there for a while now. I was hoping we could go to bed together." He yells from the other side of the door.

"Sure! I'll be out in a sec Al!" I try and yell confidently, although I don't think I did a very good job.

Alastor

"Angel darling are you ok?" I yell worried. Something wrong I know it. He has been acting strange since dinner. Hes been distant, even going as far as ignoring the thing he calls fat nuggets.

"Yea! Just gimmie a sec!" he yells sounding almost paniced. I snap my fingers, pajamas appearing on me as I get comfortable in bed. I'll talk to him about his odd behavior but for now I'll enjoy my book.

After a few minutes, my nose buried in my book, I hear the bathroom lock click as Angel steps out of the bathroom. I look up at him slightly irritated he look so long. "Angel we need to talk." I state calmly. "Ok." he climbs into bed, sitting down next to me.

"You've been off all day. I know something is wrong and I would like to ask again. What is it?" Something is wrong and I won't rest until I find out what it is. If there is something making him unhappy I want to fix it. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

"Angel." I whisper, taking both his hands in mine. "Look me in the eyes and tell me nothing is wrong." Looking into the beautiful pink eyes I've come to love and adore. Worry fills me as his eyes fill with tears. He looks down at his arms. I know I wont like what I'll see.

"Can I look?" A nod of his head is the only response I get. Carefully taking off his gloves from his first set of arms I'm met with bandages his arms, blood staining them. "Is this all?"

shaking his head, he takes off the gloves from his second set of arms. Blood stained bandages on those arms too. I just say anything, just hug him, being mindful of his current state.

We don't say or do anything just sit there holding each other. Only the sound of Angels quiet sobs and whispered apology breaking the silence.

Angel dust

"I'm so sorry Al, I'm sorry." I whisper over and over again. Begging for forgiveness, Alastor whispering back that it's ok, we'll get through this, hes here for me.

Guilt and regret fill my body. Heart beating rapidly, heavy in my chest. I can't do anything but continue releasing quiet sobs and beg for forgiveness.

"Angel look at me." Alastor demands. Slowling looking up I look into Alastors glowing crimson red eyes. "Do you want to talk about what brought you to do this?" he asked while cupping my cheek in his hand. "No." I say blankly as I lay down in bed, facing away from Alastor.

I have only spoken about Molly to two people. Cherri and Albert and as far as I'm concerned it will stay that way.

Alastor says nothing else as he simply turns off the lap and goes to sleep.

I'm sorry Al.

A/N

I actually got another chapter out ik its a miracle. I know some of you guys were probably expecting the twins to reunite but I'm evil and will have you guys on edge for as long as I can. Don't worry things get better soon it just doesn't involve Molly just yet. I start summer school soon so this will likely be the last chapter for a while. I will at least try and get one last short one out before my break. Can't promise it but I'll try. Love ya <3