— sam. —
it's been almost four months,
and his brother wasn't doing well.
dean doesn't like to leave his room unless to use the bathroom or to grab a beer. drinking is all he does now, it's who he is at this point and sam can't seem to break him of the habit. he was used to dean having an issue with alcohol when things would get stressful, he's always had problems with drinking but now, it was constant.
he'd wake up and drink a beer, drink through a whole case in about a day, and then switch to whiskey and vodka whenever he ran out. "hey dean," sam knocked on the door, "jody called with a lead for lucifer so i'm going to go check it out. might be gone a few days. do you want to come?"
"no, sam."
"...alright, then. do you want anything? i can pick you up some candy or some pie."
"need more beer."
"already? dean, i've already bought two cases, it's already gone?"
"sam, just get beer."
"fine." sam sighs to himself before grabbing the keys to the impala off the counter, mentally preparing himself for a twenty-five-hour drive from kansas to oregon. after multiple gas station stops to pick up snacks, a stop at a hotel to sleep for the night, and then his last stop at a police station in salem, oregon. sam wasn't being entirely truthful about why he was heading to oregon, he did have a lead, but it wasn't a lead on lucifer.
it was a lead on cas, jody called him that morning saying that a friend of hers matched the description of the angel, except for a minor detail. he shuts the door to the impala, looking over at the police station, he looks into the rear-side mirror, pushing his hair out of his face, making sure he looks presentable to play dress up as an fbi agent.
part of him is still upset that he doesn't have his partner in crime, his brother, dean. dean hasn't been himself since the day castiel walked out of the bunker, all he does is drink, sleep, and lay in bed. he's only seen dean maybe twice since that day, and that's to find the bathroom, while stumbling and to ask sam to go on a supply run for more beer.
he's honestly really worried about him. he's never seen dean like this before, and dean has been through way too much. but this? this was different. he's not even sure what to do. for once in his life, he's not able to comfort his brother. he's not even sure what happened, and where to even go from here, what could he do to help his brother? find cas, and get them to talk about whatever happened. maybe let dean get through the funk on his own, but he knows that's not possible. dean has been a mess for almost four months.
he doesn't eat unless sam forces him to. he doesn't sleep much at night but sleeps in late during the day. he cries a lot, more than he used to. he'll have really bad panic attacks, and sam will run in and try to help, hold him till he calms down, but dean never feels better, and never calms down. he doesn't shower, and the smell is starting to seep from his bedroom. he doesn't even enjoy pie anymore.
all dean focuses on is drinking himself unconscious, breaking things, and crying himself to sleep. they've had everyone they know looking for lucifer. ever since one of his favorite music artists was turned to dust by lucifer, he's put his complete focus on finding the devil, and castiel, but he also has the british men of letters to worry about. mick is practically breathing down his neck at this point, but he can't focus on that.
he needs to find castiel, get the story, and do something to help his brother. then he needs to find lucifer, somehow stop him, and save the world in the process. the hunt seems pointless. he's not sure how many police officers he's talked to, how many times he's shown his fake fbi badge to people who simply can't give him what he's looking for. he can't count how many times he's shown the photo of cas to the police officers, who don't give him anything, not even a little hint.
