Always Then and Now

Chapter 9

LIAM

The next night, Hannah and Emily were just sitting down at the dinner table when I got home; I could see them through the doorway, their backs to me.  Emily was babbling away happily, and Hannah turned toward her, a big smile on her face as she set Emily’s plate in front of her on the table.  I stood back and observed them for a moment.

It was clear that their bond was already growing stronger, even though they were still just getting to know each other.  Hannah’s attention was fully on the toddler, and Emily was all smiles, talking animatedly with her.  I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the two of them.  Maybe Kate had been right about hiring her.  Hannah seemed to be having a positive effect on Emily.  She’d been through a lot over the past few weeks, a complete upheaval of her young life; she needed stability now, more than ever, and with my practically non-existent parenting skills and heavy work life, I couldn’t provide that for her.  Maybe someday, but not right now.  Maybe Hannah could be the one to provide that stability and emotional bond, at least for now, until I could step up more.

I shifted on my feet and must have made a noise, because Hannah startled, letting out a little gasp, her head whipping in my direction.  Her wide eyes locked with mine, and she instantly tensed up—I could see it in the set of her shoulders.

“Oh, L-Liam.  Sorry, you startled me,” she said, and God, even my name on her lips sounded timid, as if she was uncomfortable with even saying it.  She seemed almost afraid, and I didn’t know why.  Her demeanor had changed completely within a few moments.

“No, I’m sorry,” I told her, moving toward them now.  I could see the tension ratcheting up in Hannah’s body, and she leaned slightly away from me as I moved to stand next to them.  I planted a kiss on the top of Emily’s head, ignoring the nanny’s reaction to me, and the little girl beamed at me.

“Hi daddy,” she said sweetly, and I smiled at her as I sat down on her other side. 

“Hi Pumpkin,” I said, then turned back to Hannah.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.  I was just enjoying seeing Emily look so happy.  She’s had a really rough few weeks, so this is a welcome change.”

She flushed and gave me a shy smile, her eyes not quite meeting mine, as usual.  It seemed the only time she actually looked at me was when I startled her into it.  It was annoying.  She shook her head now and shrugged.  “Well, I can’t take credit for that.  I’ve only been here a few days so far.  Kate is the one who’s done most of the work.”

“True, she’s been a big help,” I admitted, nodding.  “But you seem to have a good effect on her too.  I think my sister might have been right about you.”

She flushed more deeply and ducked her head, her eyes firmly on her plate.  “Thank you,” she said quietly, her smile almost embarrassed.  Wow, she was not good at receiving compliments.

A beat of uncomfortable silence followed before I cleared my throat.  “So, you haven’t started eating yet?”  I closed my eyes briefly as soon as the words were out and groaned inwardly.  Of course, they hadn’t.  Their plates were still empty.  Great.  Her awkwardness was rubbing off on me.  That annoyed me too.

She shook her head.  “We were waiting on you and Kate.”

“She’s always late, so we might as well get started.  She can catch up,” I told her and then reached for the plate of grilled chicken in front of me.  She joined in, dishing up Emily’s plate first, and then her own.  We were both quiet as we began to eat, the silence rather uncomfortable. 

At that moment, the front door opened, and Kate breezed into the room.  “Sorry I’m late, guys.  I had to get dinner for the boys settled first.”  She sat down beside me and started dishing up her own food.