Always Then and Now

Chapter 16

LIAM

“So.  How are things?”

The next day, Sunday, was Hannah’s day off, so Kate was helping me look after Emily.  I still hadn’t spent any real time alone with just Emily yet—Kate or Hannah had always been around, and I hadn’t wanted to start that test with a full day without supervision.  I’d have to learn by next weekend, when the girls had their game night, but today, I needed help.
I’d rather have had Hannah with me today, especially since yesterday had gone so well, but she did deserve a day off.  Kate would do for now.

“Pretty good, considering.  I spent all day yesterday with Hannah and Emily, and she ran me through my paces a little bit.  Not quite ready to be on my own just yet, obviously, but she’s a good teacher.  I’m already starting to feel more comfortable with Emily.”  I was surprised by that fact.  A couple of weeks ago, I’d have thought I had no business taking care of a toddler.  And a few days ago, I never would have thought I’d be able to have a conversation with Hannah, let alone spend the whole day comfortably with her.  Now, I felt like I’d made a connection with both of them.  And thanks to Hannah and Kate, I felt like maybe I could be okay at being a father.  Eventually.  I had a hell of a long way to go still, but thanks to these two women, I at least felt like I had a chance.

“That’s a good start,” she said as we watched Emily playing with her little kitchenette in the corner of the living room.  She was “cooking” us food at the moment.  “So, things with Hannah are getting better?”

“It was frustrating at first,” I admitted.  “She tried to talk me out of going to the farmer’s market with her, but I wouldn’t budge, so she was pretty tense to start out.”

“Not out of the ordinary for the two of you,” Kate pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

“Well, yeah, of course.  I wasn’t surprised.  But then we got there, and she was friendly and all smiles with most of the vendors,” I complained.  “She was like a completely different person around everyone but me at the beginning of the day.  Even hugged the tea guy.  And let me tell you—what a douche.”

She shot me a look at my choice of words but didn’t comment on it.  “It’s not exactly surprising, Liam.  As her boss, you intimidate her in a way that other people don’t.”  She sounded matter of fact.  “And she spends a lot of time there, yeah?”

I nodded.  “She says she’s there pretty much every week.  Her friend has a booth there.  Didn’t get a chance to meet her yesterday, but maybe next time.”

Kate gave me a look.  “So then, she knows at least some of the people there.  They’re acquaintances, if not friends.  You, again, on the other hand, are her boss.  She’s probably afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing around you.”

“Well yeah, there is definitely that.  We had a moment yesterday.  I caught her sort of staring at me, and I called her on it.  Jokingly, of course.” I added quickly when Kate started to narrow her eyes at me.  I explained what had happened the day before.  “Then she clammed right up.  Looked like she was about to have a panic attack.  So, I caught her eye and took her hand and told her we were just having a conversation, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“And?  How did she react?”

“For a second, I didn’t think it would help, but thankfully, I was able to calm her down.  Things went a little easier after that,” I said, thinking about the day before.  “I feel like we might have hit a little bit of a turning point?  I hope, anyway.”

“Welcome to your first foray into interacting with someone with social anxiety.  This probably won’t be the last time something like that happens.  I know it’s not something you usually have to deal with, but with you two living together, these issues are going to come up sometimes. Just please be patient with her.” 

“I will.  I don’t want to make things even more uncomfortable for her.  You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had to work so hard to win over an employee before.  Or a woman, for that matter.  Usually, it’s the other way around.”  I joked, chuckling a bit.

“Yeah, well, this is little different because this employee is living with you, and you’re entrusting her with your kid.  You’re going to have a different type of relationship with her than you would with an employee at the office.  There’s no way around that; it would be different from normal, no matter who you hired,” Kate pointed out.  She paused for a moment, then continued.  “And I want to thank you for giving her a chance.  I realize that most people would have fired her from this type of job long ago because of how shy and awkward she is.  You’ve kept her on because of my recommendation, and I want you to know that I appreciate that.  I really do think that she’s the right person for the job.  I felt it from the moment I met her.  I just felt an instant connection to her.”

“Are you sure it’s not your skin she’s under?” I teased, remembering my sister’s comment from the other night. 

Kate laughed too and rolled her eyes.  “Of course, she is.  I, unlike you, am not afraid to admit she is,” she told me pointedly.  “There are just some people who come into your life, and you just know that you’re meant to be friends.  I feel that with her, and I know she feels the same way.  It’s part of the reason she’s so comfortable with me, I think.”

“Yeah, yeah, rub it in.” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault I’m more lovable than you.  You’ll get there eventually.”  She smirked at me, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

Emily moved toward us then and handed me a plastic apple and then gave Kate a plastic carrot, beaming proudly up at both of us.  “An apple?  Just for me?” I asked, pouring astonishment into my voice. 

She nodded, watching proudly as I pretended to eat the apple.  I pretended to take a big bite, then rubbed my belly.  “Mmm!  This is the best apple I’ve ever eaten!” I exclaimed with a smile, my heart warming at the sight of my daughter looking so pleased.  Then she turned to Kate and shared a similar exchange with her.  It was adorable to watch.  I picked her up and set her on my lap, hugging her to me.  Kate gave me a smile that said she was pleased with my progress so far, and I felt relieved.  This was not the hand I had expected to be dealt, but now that I had, I was going to make sure she wanted for nothing.