Always Then and Now

Chapter 26

HANNAH

"Hannah, you look amazing, I promise. Now can we go?" Kate was sitting on my bed as I scrutinized myself in the mirror. I still wasn't used to wearing my new clothes, and today would be the first day I actually went out in them. I was nervous as hell. I liked to merge into the crowd at the farmer's market, and with this outfit, I felt like I'd be a beacon, standing out for people to point and laugh at. I wasn't looking forward to it, but I supposed Kate and Jai had been right. I didn't look terrible, considering. I was just so self-conscious; I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to get out of the car when we got there.

We'd discovered that empire-waisted tops were my friend—they displayed the girls and largely hid my stomach from view—so most of the tops I'd bought the other day were in this style. Today's was black, brought in at my breasts and then flowing down over my hips, with long sleeves of lace. I wore another new pair of skinny jeans, this pair darker than the last. And at Kate's urging, I wore my hair down, soft waves falling over my shoulders, to almost halfway down my back. I'd put a little bit of makeup on too, though I still had no idea what I was doing, so it was extremely simple. Just a bit of mascara and some nude-coloured lip gloss.

I wasn't sure about my look, but I supposed it wasn't going to get any better, just standing here in front of my mirror, staring at myself. As much as I'd love to, I couldn't will myself to get any thinner in this moment, no matter how hard I tried.

Kate had decided she wanted to be there for my "big reveal" at the market. I thought she'd be sorely disappointed. It wasn't like I was going to get to the market and be scouted for Miss Universe or anything. "Come on, Hannah," she urged now. "My brother's going to get super impatient, and we don't need pissy Liam trailing around behind us all day."

I chuckled at her description of her brother, then gave myself one more look and sighed, stepping away from the mirror. "Alright, alright, I suppose this is as good as it's going to get."

She rolled her eyes at me but didn't say anything as she stood up. I knew she thought I was being ridiculous, but it was easy for her to say. She was drop-dead gorgeous, tall and slender, with long, natural blonde hair that came all the way down to her ass—and a very nice-looking one, at that. I may have been into dudes, but if I was going to go for a woman, Kate would probably be it. I might even have a bit of a girl crush on her, to be honest. She was breathtaking. I hadn't met her husband yet, but I already knew he was one lucky dude.

She followed me out of my room and down the stairs. Liam was there by the door with Emily in his arms, looking about as impatient as Kate had predicted he'd be.

"Finally. It's about time—" Liam started, but he stopped short as his eyes landed on me. I chewed my lip, nervous as hell. If he hated how I looked, what kind of reaction would I get from other people at the market, people who didn't know me and wouldn't think twice about making nasty comments?

I couldn't read the expression on his face, but I could see him swallow. Was that a good sign? A bad sign? God, I didn't know, but my stomach was churning so much with nerves that I thought I might throw up. I suddenly just wanted to run back upstairs and hide under my covers forever. It'd be easier than this.

"Oh God, it looks bad, doesn't it? I'm gonna go back upstairs and—"

"No!" Liam and Kate both protested in unison, but my eyes remained on Liam. For some reason, I wanted him to like the way I looked. I had no idea why.

He swallowed again. "You look beautiful, Sunshine," he said softly, seriously, his voice thick and his eyes holding mine for a long moment.

I wasn't sure what he saw, but I believed him, or at least I believed that he believed what he said. I found myself blushing and smiling shyly. "Thank you," I responded, feeling butterflies in my stomach now rather than the nervous churning from a moment before. What the hell was happening? Why the hell did I even care what he thought about how I looked anyway? I didn't know, but I found myself feeling pleased that he liked it.