meet me at midnight.

13.

"If I show you, promise not to laugh." I begged Desiree.

She rubbed her chin, pretending to think then took a sip of her latte. I was clutching my phone, hiding the photo of the lingerie I'd purchased.

"Girl, don't play with me," She sighed. "You know I ain't gonna laugh."

"O-ok, point taken." I said, and lowered the phone.

She leaned slightly and looked at the lingerie. It had arrived last week in a discreet pink box. I'd opened it in the bathroom. I'd taken a photo of it on the bed and then promptly hid it in my drawer underneath my t-shirts. Desiree's eyes went from the picture to me and back again.

"Oooh girl, that is damn cute," She giggled. "Might have goth boy tearin' your fucking clothes off."

"S-stop," I giggled too. "You think so, though? You think he'll like it? He won't laugh at me?"

"Girl, stop your crazy talk," Desiree said. "'Course he'll like it. He loves you so much. No way would he laugh at you."

"O-ok good, just I keep freaking out that we'll get undressed and he'll think I look stupid." I said.

"No way would he laugh at you," Desiree said. "So, when's the big night?"

"This Saturday. It's his birthday on the 14th, but we're going to StrangeLove this Saturday and it'll be a surprise when we get home." I smiled, and Desiree nodded.

She and Theo were invited. She bit her lip, looking concerned for once and I felt panic rise in me. Was I forgetting something?

"Girl, I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer, but he's gonna get wasted," She said. "You do know that, right. It's his birthday. He ain't gonna be in any position to give you a good fucking."

I blushed at her crude terminology. I could ask him not to get too drunk, right. That was something I could do without seeming like I was trying to spoil the fun. I didn't want to ruin anything though. I'd saved my money and got him presents and I'd wrapped them.

"I-i could ask." I said, weakly.

"You could do, but once the birthday shots start flying, he'll be too shitfaced to do much of anything." Desiree said.

This was something I hadn't thought about and I really didn't want to spoil Josh's birthday. Desiree dropped me home and I did some of my coursework whilst trying to think of a solution for this. I sat on the bed, drawing pictures of celebrities on the internet. We were well into the new term and drawing people now. I still hadn't asked Josh if I could draw him again.

I wanted to though, but I felt so nervous about it that I'd kept it to myself. My drawing of Ryan Gosling looked strange to me and I tried to figure out what had gone wrong. Perhaps I'd done his eyes wrong. With faces, once you messed up one feature, the drawing didn't look right.

I felt frustration bubble up in me and tried to correct the drawing. I managed to correct it, but I still wasn't happy. I didn't hear the door open, but jumped when Josh sat behind me. His arms wrapped around me and I smiled.

"Shit, I interrupted you drawing," He said, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. "Sorry, little mouse."

"No, it's ok," I said. "I can't get Ryan Gosling's face right."

"Dude has a really punchable face." Josh replied, and I giggled.

"Are you jealous of Ryan Gosling?" I asked.

"Not unless he showed up and started tryin' to dance with you like in that shitty movie." He replied.

"You mean La La Land?" I said. "I love that film."