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SIX i said i hated you for the first time ◀★▶
𝐃ear 𝐊iara 𝐂arrera
I said I hated you for the first time since we broke up, and I saw you cry. I saw you try to hide it from me, I heard you curse my name, spit it out like acid, and then run away to your boyfriend's arms.
I do wonder which one though. Maybe you should pick one and stick with him.
After that, I went home and crashed. I fell asleep and woke up crying on my bed, or our bed. Cause you've had so many sleepovers, I've lost count.
June asked me what was wrong, I told her it was nothing. She didn't belive me, but God, it hurts to call it nothing.
Like we were nothing.
I don't like that thought. Even if you hate me now, I still want to love you, get you back, and apologize. But I can't do that, hell knows, maybe I'll get a refresher and go through this again. I've broken up with girls before, but it never felt like this. Maybe it's because I loved you most.
Oh, look at me, showing favoritism with my ex-girlfriends.
I swear to God though, I'm never going to do this again. I don't want another Kiara again, I don't want a girl who fits me so well. Not after you. I want the pain of knowing I lost someone so good.
I asked Ken how he did it, the guy has a million exes. More exes than times he got arrested, which means at least over fifteen. He just looked at me blankly and said most of them didn't mean anything.
I can't miss you, but I do.
I think this letter's gonna get burned, nobody can know about this one. I'm done wishing you'd come back. You don't. You seem to be doing just fine.
Does that mean I love you more than you ever loved me? Does it mean I didn't mean anything?
