It's Been A Long, Long Time // Steve Rogers

Chapter 3

My heart raced in my chest as she stared at me. Becca. Rebecca. Rebecca Barnes. That's why I recognized this area. She was Bucky's sister. This was Bucky's old apartment. "How are you alive?" She questioned. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. "The world thinks you're dead."

"I- I uh..." I gulped slightly. "How do you know who I am?" I asked. Stupid Steve. Stupid question. She's your best friend's little sister. "I'd never forget your face. Serum or no serum."

"You um, you grew up." I was unbelievably nervous as she stared at me. I thought she was in Indiana. I didn't know she came back. How would I? I was a frozen ice pop for 70 years. I looked for her when I came out of the ice too. She would have been in her 80's. She would have been the last thing I had connecting me to Bucky. But there was no trace of Rebecca Barnes. I assumed she was dead. "You never answered my question. How. Are. You. Alive?" She paused between each word. "I- uh..." Shit. I guess I have to tell her. "I'll tell you. Just not here."

"Fine." She nodded and walked up the stairs. I followed her, watching carefully as she unlocked the door to Bucky's old apartment. She walked inside and held the door open for me. "Would you like tea? Coffee?" She asked, taking off her jacket and draping it over the chair as she walked into the kitchen. It was eerie being here. It was like he still lived here. "Coffee. I have a feeling explaining everything to you might take a while." I sighed, taking off my own leather jacket and setting it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

She prepared coffee for each of us and handed me a mug, taking a seat on the couch. "Becca...you must have so many questions..." I said. "I do. The first one though is-" "He's not alive." I said quickly. I knew she would ask. I hated lying to her but if she knew she'd try to find him and end up getting herself killed. Bucky has to become the winter soldier. As much as I hate knowing he's alive, I can't go save him. Would create some nasty alternate reality. She looked down at her mug and spun it in her hands."I'm sorry, Rebecca."

"I guess, I had some hope. Seeing you..."

"Rebecca, I'm not from here. This time. I know it's hard to understand but I'm technically from the future. I did go into the ice in 1945 and I wasn't found until 70 years later." I said. "So how are you here?"

"Howard Stark has a son who discovered time travel. It's a long story..."

She took a sip of her coffee, "it's a good thing I have time."

So I told her. I told her everything. Peggy, the attack on New York, Hydra, SHIELD, Ultron, Thanos, the battle we lost, everyone disappearing, the 5 years that passed, bringing everyone back, the infinity stones, and finally, what brought me here, the journey to return the stones and to find Peggy again. I did, however, leave out information about Bucky. I was worried that would be too hard on her.

Then I told her how Peggy had already moved on and the past year I'd been living here because I can't return to my time.

"Wow." She let out a breath of air. "I'm sorry about Peggy, Steve." I smiled sadly, "It's okay. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I knew she had moved on. I knew she had a family. I just hoped I could get a chance with her."

"You still don't know anything about women do you?" She asked me. I huffed a laugh and shook my head, "No. I guess I'll always be that little guy from Brooklyn when it comes to women."

She was quiet for a moment and I decided to break the silence. "What brought you back to Brooklyn? When your parents died you went to live with your grandparents in Indiana. God you must have been 14." I glanced at her and she nodded. "I was, god that seems like so long ago." She smiled. "You left your grandmother?" I asked. I knew her grandfather had died only a few years after they moved. Bucky had told me, he went back to Indiana for the funereal.

Becca looked down and shook her head. "No uh, my grandmother died a few days before I got the letter that Bucky's unit, the 107th, had been captured and he was presumed dead. She was already so sick."

Her teary eyes met mine before she continued, "It wasn't long after that the 107th, Bucky, was saved. We received another letter. I was so happy that I might get to see him again and got on the first train out to New York...but when I got there, they told me he was overseas running around and killing Nazi's with Captain America and the Howling Comandos."

First her grandmother and then Bucky. I felt awful. She must have had such a hard time. And I couldn't help but feel guilty about it.

Tears finally fell from her face and I couldn't help but reach over and wipe the stray ones that fell. "So I stayed at his apartment hoping he would come back when the war was over. That hope died when someone came and knocked on the door. Telling me he was killed in action, that he fell off a train. They told me he died a hero. Not long after that, your death was plastered across every news article. Bucky was gone, you were gone. My grandparents were gone. I had no one. I was truly alone." My heart broke as she spoke and I pulled her into my arms. "Becca...I'm so sorry." I held her tightly.

"I didn't want to go back to Indiana. So I stayed here." Soft sobs left her lips. "It's been three years and every day I prayed that it was a dream and that I'd wake up and Bucky would be alive. Then you walked into the bar and I knew it was you the second I served you a beer. Even with longer hair and a beard."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered as she cried. "I'm so so sorry." God she must have only been 21 when I went into the ice. Too young to deal with all of that. I leaned back on the couch as I let her continue to cry into my arms. I soothingly rubbed her back until her soft sobs turned into consistent deep breaths, telling me she fell asleep. I pushed some hair out of her face and easily lifted her up, carrying her into the bedroom to gently set her on the bed. I made sure she was positioned well and pulled the covers over her body and turned off the light. I shut the door behind me and sighed, making my way towards the door.

I looked back at the bedroom door and groaned. I couldn't leave. Not after that. So I did what I always did when Bucky was alive. I grabbed one of the throw blankets out of the basket in the corner and laid down on the couch. Except now, I don't quite fit like I did when I was 5'5 and 90 pounds.

I laid down and smiled slightly to myself. In a weird way, I was happy I ran into Rebecca. It was like I finally had a piece of my old life with me. A piece of Bucky. Maybe now I wouldn't be totally alone. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.