It's Been A Long, Long Time // Steve Rogers

Chapter 14

"I'm trying to find Bucky."

Steve stopped everything and stared at me. His smile faded into a frown and his stare turned hard. "The hell you are." He said after a long pause of silence.

"I am. I asked Howard for files on Hydra and-"

"Damnit, Rebecca!" He yelled. I flinched slightly as other diners turned to look at us. Steve held up his hand, "sorry...sorry." He looked back at me and shook his head. "Becca...you need to stop." I shook my head quickly. "No, Steve. If you didn't want me to look for him you never should have told me he was alive."

"I told you because I didn't want to lie to you, Rebecca!!" I shrugged and took another sip of the shake. "I'm not asking for your permission. I'm simply telling you that I'm doing it." Steve groaned and ran his hand through his hair. "God, you're just as stubborn as he is."

I scoffed, "I'm stubborn? Wow. That's rich coming from you."

Steve lifted his head and glared at me, "Becca. You can't go after Bucky. He's dangerous. What Hyd...they...did to him, he would kill you. He almost killed me...twice... and I'm...me." He whispered. "I don't care. He's my brother. If it were me he'd never give up trying to find me."

"But it isn't you, Rebecca." Steve snapped and let out a big sigh, "We're not doing this here." Steve stood up and dropped some money on the table. He quickly walked out of the diner, leaving me sitting and to follow after him. "You two alright?" Betty asked as I made my way towards the door. "Yea...just a disagreement on some things with work." I smiled. "You two will work it out. Have a good night sweetheart." Betty winked and I gave her one last smile before walking out and seeing Steve waiting for me on his motorcycle. I got on behind him and he took off, taking us back to my apartment.

I was the first one to get off and I walked upstairs and into the living room, Steve quickly following after me. "How could you keep this from me?!" He slammed the door and glared at me. "I didn't. I just told you." I crossed my arms across my chest. He gave me the most Captain America, disappointed stare but I didn't move. "Rebecca." "Steve." He let out a grunt and put his hands on his hips. I shrugged and turned to walk into the bedroom, leaving him in the living room.

"Where are they?" I turned around and looked at Steve. "What?" I asked. I knew what he was talking about but I wasn't ready to give them up just yet.

"The files Howard gave you, where are they?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and shrugged. "Rebecca, I'm serious."

"Me too. I'm finding Bucky." I stood still as he walked past me and started looking around the apartment for the supposed box of files. "Steve, stop!" I yelled. "Rebecca, he could kill you! Do you even care that this puts you in so much danger! You don't know everything they did to him!" Steve yelled.

"Then tell me!"

Steve stood with his hands on his hips again and shook his head. "Fine. You want to know what they did to him?" I nodded. "They tortured him and brainwashed him into being a weapon. They took away every single memory he had and made him into someone he's not through hours of endless torture. That means memories of you, memories of me, everything. Then they used him to do their dirty work. They would send him out on missions to terminate people right under SHIELDs nose. One of those missions being the death of Howard Stark in 1991. Then when they were done with him, they would freeze him in a cryogenic tube until they needed him again. The Bucky he is now...He's not going to remember you Becca. It took years for me to find him and get him back to a semi stable place. Not only that but if you poke around in Hydra business, they won't hesitate to send him to kill you. The Winter Soldier doesn't care if you're Bucky Barnes's sister. He only cares about one thing, his mission. And I'm not gonna let you become one of them. So, the files, where are they?"

I huffed and walked past Steve and into the bedroom, pulling out the box from under the bed. "Is this all of them?" I nodded and he took the box from me and set it aside. "Becca, I'm not trying to tell you I don't want to save Bucky, you know I do. I would in a heartbeat if I could. I just...I have to be careful here in this time and most importantly I can't let anything happen to you. If The Winter Soldier killed you...Bucky...he would never forgive himself when he eventually gets his memories back. He wouldn't be able to live with himself. This protects you both and I'm sorry it has to be this way. I really am."

I felt tears slowly drip from my eyes as Steve walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I know you want to see him. I know." He whispered. I gripped his shirt tighter and cried into his chest. I felt his hand soothingly rub my back and press a kiss against my head. "I can't lose you Becca." He whispered. "You won't." I pulled away and stood on my toes to press a kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry I went behind your back...I just..."

"I know. You just want Bucky back." I nodded and he moved us to sit down on the couch so I could calm down cuddled up next to him under a blanket. "How did you get him back?" I asked softly after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"Well...I refused to fight him when we took down Hydra and he tried to kill me. He almost did too...but then he saved me by pulling me out of the river we crashed into. He could have let me drown but he didn't. Then he escaped and it took me 2 years to try to find him again. When I did he was okay...a little unstable but okay. Even though he was okay, he still wasn't free of the conditioning Hydra put in his head. Eventually, we were able to take him to a country called Wakanda. They had the technology to get the conditioning out of his head. Didn't get rid of the nightmares or the PTSD but at least he had his brain back. No one could control him anymore. And I know that Bucky, he would want you as far away from Hydra as possible. He wouldn't want you risking your life trying to save him and he would actually kill me if I let you. He loved you so much Becca."

I sighed and pressed myself up against Steve. I knew he was probably right. Going after Bucky or even looking into Hydra would be dangerous. Too dangerous. I knew I had to let it go...but I didn't want to. I never even got to say goodbye.