Awesome Genshin Nonsense

ALBEDO MAKES DINNER

I JUST FOLLOWED THE VOICELINES GUYS I FOLLOWED THE VOICELINES

     It was an ordinary day, just like all the other ordinary days the other chapters start out on, so of course something had to happen sooner or later.
 
Albedo was chilling in his Dragonspine cave– quite literally, as his state-of-the-art pyro fueled heater broke yesterday– when it happened. A flash of green sped past his cave impossibly fast. A box dropped in its wake. It said something; he could hardly make out the words.

"THANKS FOR CHOOSING KOMANIYA EXPRESS FOR YOUR DELIVERY NEEDS WE'D APPRECIATE A FIVE STAR REVIEW OH ARCHONS IT'S COLD HERE-"

Okay. Strange. Albedo opened the box.

He found something wrapped in foil and a note attached, that he unsealed and read.

Yo kid,

Hope this finds you well and all that. You better be taking good care of my Klee!(!!!)

Anyhoo, I kinda accidentally destroyed a petrified tree at Taishan and happened to find one of those spiders you like munching on. Thought you'd appreciate it! Don't share with Klee, these upset her stomach.

Toodles,

Alice

Albedo turned to Timaeus. "Hold all my calls."

Timaeus blinked slowly. "You have no calls. You've never had any calls, nor will you ever get any, because you don't have a phone."

Albedo ignored him. He brought the box to his crafting bench and lifted the large arachnid from the foil. Timaeus paled slightly; he still wasn't used to some of the stranger ingredients used in alchemy, and had a bizarre (at least to Albedo) phobia of spiders.

Albedo wrapped the spider in cape jasmine and lemongrass and sprinkled a bit of cardamom. He considered roasting it a bit– archons knew how much he needed a bit of warmth right now– but chose instead to toss it in a bowl of ice cream for dessert. He knew the chapter title said dinner, but he already ate, you know.

He chowed down in front of a rusty old TV set watching Bill Nye the Science Guy.

The End.