this is me trying | taylor swift

nine

❝i don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you❞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Ella passed out at dance.

It was a rather mortifying experience, really, for the young girl who despised any form of attention. One second, she was preparing for her ballet private and warming up by the barre, and the next thing she knew, she woke up to see three sets of eyeballs staring right at her face.

"I'm fine, Miss Anna. Please don't call my mom!" The blonde pleaded with her ballet instructor as she tried to sit up from her laying position. The older woman placed a hand on her chest, not allowing her to sit up, as she gently guided Ella's head back down. Anna shook her head, as she instructed the other students to find a water bottle and snack for Ella.

"Ella dear, you know I can't do that. You need to go get checked out," She smiled warmly, the concern evident on her face as her brows furrowed and the wrinkles on her outer lids deepened.

A frantic phone call and lengthy explanation later, Ella was in the passenger seat of her mom's car, on her way to an urgent care clinic per Miss Anna's recommendation.

"Mom, I swear, I'm okay. I literally just forgot to drink water before class," Ella tried to reason with Andrea, who wouldn't take no for an answer. She was in a virtual meeting with Taylor and her team, when she got the phone call. Within twenty minutes, she was at the studio to pick up Ella, all while attempting to reason with Taylor over the phone about why it would be unreasonable for her to return to Nashville when she had a show that evening. She was relieved when Taylor finally backed down with promises to keep her updated and even more relieved to see Ella looking alive and well sitting on the black marley floors of the studio, drinking water and eating a Biscoff cookie.

"Honey, for the tenth time, that's not gonna happen. We're going to the doctor and that's final. Now please text your sister, she's worried sick," Andrea sighed deeply as she tried to sway Ella's attention from her persistent distaste of visiting the doctor. Ella rolled her eyes, as she unlocked her phone and pressed her Messages app.

Ella: hey mom wanted me to text you and tell you im fine so im telling you that im fine

Taylor: Ella!!! What happened babe?? Are you feeling okay?

Ella: yeah everything's okay taylor

Ella: idk why moms overreacting it's pissing me off

Taylor: Little bean -- she was so worried! Be nice to her! I'm glad you're okay, though. Let me know what the doctor says please! I love you soooo much :)

Ella: k

Ella sighed once more as she locked her phone and leaned into the headrest of the car, frustrated with her mom, her ballet instructor, her sister, and most of all, herself. Since her panic attack eight weeks ago, she had done so well with her diet. With her busy life, her dad's work schedule, and her mom occupied with Taylor's tour, she was able to easily restrict nearly every meal. She rarely saw her parents anyway, except when they dropped her off and picked her up at school and the occasional midday conversation. Her parents tried to attend most of Taylor's shows, with one of them, usually Andrea, jetting off to a city the morning of the show and returning the same night as the last show of the weekend, which meant that she was gone most weekends. After all, it was tour season and Taylor's tour trumped all. Ella was grateful, though -- the handful of times that the family of three ate together, she would simply eat her entire meal to avoid suspicion, and do a longer workout after.

Her plan was going by without a hitch and the results were physical proof of that. Her jeans were fitting more loosely and her friends pointed out her flatter abdomen, claiming they wanted her body. Miss Anna had even complimented her lines the other day, which she had rarely ever done before.