The History of Yardale

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Pip suddenly found himself sitting in his old room in Britain. He didn't know how he'd gotten there or if this was all even real, but the last thing he remembered was being in heaven talking with Dogpoo and Rebecca. 

Shocked, he quickly stood up and realized everything hurt. He felt as if he was being crushed- oh wait. He was crushed. His body was probably still getting used to being alive again. The sudden pain caused Pip to lose balance and fall over, creating a loud noise the whole house could hear. 

"What was that?" Pip heard a woman yell. He had not heard that voice in a long time, but he had still managed to recognize it as his sister Sarah Gargery. 

"Probably a rat in the attic." he heard another voice say in a more calm tone. This he recognized as Joe Gargery, his brother-in-law. 

"Rats don't make noises that loud you idiot! It must be a thief!" Sarah said accusingly. Pip, scared his sister would kill him, made his best attempt to hide. His attempts were for nothing, though, as his sister barged in before he'd gotten a chance to go anywhere. 

The two could only stare at each other for a very long and uncomfortable moment. The silence was broken when Joe walked in and saw Pip. "Oh goodness- is that you, Pip? We thought you'd died-" 

"He did die!" said Sarah. "We buried the scoundrel's remains! Why's he come crawling back up to bother us?" 

"Well, there weren't many remains left-" Joe stated, "Maybe it wasn't him!" 

"It was me." said Pip, just as confused as the other two. "I did die. I don't know how i'm here." 

Sarah's palm hit her face as she sighed, saying to herself, "God sent him back to kill me. I hate my damn life." 

"Now let's be reasonable- God doesn't hate you. This is a miracle!" Joe said happily. "Pip has returned! This is a thing to celebrate. We were just about to have dinner if you'd like to join us, Pip." 

Pip could only nod. He was still questioning everything that had just happened. He walked downstairs with the two adults and sat down at their old, dirty table. It had been a long time since Pip had been in this house, yet nothing had changed. 

Once food was brought to the table, Pip realized he was starving. He put every bit he could on his plate and ate every last crumb in only a few seconds. 

This has gotten a quick reaction from Joe and Sarah. "My, Sarah, remember when you'd always have to scold him for not eating his food? Now he's gone and had all of it! Death must be tiring, you poor thing." Joe said sympathetically. "Here- you can have my food as well." The man gave Pip his own plate. Pip gratefully took it and ate all of that too. He had never been this hungry- this was new. 

Sarah rolled her eyes. "You're always so damn needy, Pip." 

Joe seemed to be more offended by this statement than Pip. "Now c'mon, he can't be as bad as you've been making him out to be. Pip's a kind boy- he deserves more credit." 

"I don't think he deserves anything after I was practically forced to raise him." Sarah scoffed. "Mother and Father just had to leave me with the stupid kid." 

"He's not stupid! He's quite smart." 

"Y'know what? If you like him so much, you raise him." 

"Okay. Pip I'm your mother now." 

"Shut up before I smack you." 

Pip didn't care for what the two had to say. He didn't want to hear another argument of theirs. "I have to go." 

Sarah stared at Pip. "And where must you go now that's so important?" 

Pip had to go to Pocket's house. He knew he lived nearby and would potentially be able to help. "To a friend's." 

"I didn't know you had friends." Sarah said. "I think you're lying. You're not going to some secret girlfriend, are you?" 

"No. Besides, I have a boyfriend." Pip said without thinking. Sarah's eyes widened in shock, while Joe didn't seem to be as surprised. 

"Aw, how sweet!" said Joe. "Isn't that adorable, Sarah?" 

"You're gay?" Sarah questioned. 

Joe laughed. "You say that as if you've never had gay thoughts before." 

The two stared at each other, Sarah in even more shock. "You have?" 

Neither Pip or Joe knew what to say from then on. Pip took the uncomfortable moment as a chance to run off, making his way to Pocket's home. 

———————————-

Damien sat in hell, tired from all of the work he'd been going. After his father had retired, Damien had taken the position as ruler of hell and he had hated it. He'd found it difficult to like anything after Pip's death. 

Interrupting Damien while he was deep in thought, one of the demons who had worked for him walked up. "Sir- there's been a disturbance in heaven. God wants to have a meeting with you." 

"Tell God to fuck off. Heaven isn't my responsibility." Damien replied annoyedly. 

"But sir- he says it's very important. Three people have esca-" 

Cutting off the demon, Damien said, "I really don't care. I'm not going to some dumb meeting." 

The demon nodded and walked off, leaving Damien alone. The ruler of hell didn't care about this "disturbance in heaven", but he soon would.