My Boy [under editing]

Ch 20

  EMPTY APOLOGY

❝because I need you boy, I miss you even in my dreams.
remember I love you boy, even if I can't ever see you again.❞
—suzy, I love you boy.

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jungkook

I came back home after I saw chohee's parents inside her room. my feet were so heavy that I felt like I was dragging myself along the way. "cancer..." I muttered under my breathe, and then questions suddenly poured inside my head. "will she be okay?"

the thought of someone I knew was dying made me feel sick—indeed, she was the least person I didn't want to involve with anymore, but she used to be someone so important in my life. and she was dying.

I couldn't bear to think more about her as everything led to death. "yo, crackhead!" before I could turn around, a ball had hit my head and I crouched down with a little yelp. "where have you been?"

"an apology would be nice!" I gritted my teeth while rubbing the back of my head. I stood back up and finally turned around to look at jimin. he was narrowing his eyes, "dude—" he shook his head to tell me to shut up.

"an apology, jungkook?" he asked before he stepped aside to show me the girl I called my angel—she was playing basketball with her heels, laughing so loudly and she was wearing such an elegant dress with her hair tied in a bun. "you left her for whatever sake you've been doing."

all the worry I had in the hospital was answered; hyemi, our date. I had forgotten about our date. "fuck—" my fingers ran through my hair and I groaned, annoyed of myself for being stupid. "I was busy—"

jimin didn't let any excuse enter, "don't be a dick, will you?" I was terrified with the glares that he shoot to me—he may seem like the type to stay calm, he always stayed calm until something got into his nerves. I got into his nerves. "what? you're going to tell us that you're busy with your parents? you dickhead, your mum came every morning."

my eyes grew wide as I heard about my mum, I was caught lying. I wanted to explain but there was no more space for me to fix the problem with jimin, he knew I was lying, he knew I was not myself.

"if I find out what you're up to, I will not hesitate to throw a fist on your face."

taehyung from distance spoke immediately, I could see the anger in his eyes, but the visible veins on his neck showed that he was holding himself from killing me. "I'm sorry," I blurted out but both of them scoffed at the same time.

while standing still in front of them, I watched the others stopped playing and they cheered before walking inside the apartment. I saw one person was walking to the opposite route but I didn't bother to watch him until the end, as I was focused on hyemi.

she was laughing with hoseok beside her, and she was walking barefoot as she was holding her heels and coat. the way she leaned her body closed to him while laughing made me realise how much I missed her.

I stayed outside while everyone was probably sleeping including jimin and taehyung. there was so many things going inside my head and I just couldn't stop myself from overthinking and regretting.

once the clock struck twelve midnight, I finally came inside. yoongi's room was still bright as music was heard from the kitchen. I wanted to enter hyemi's room, but my hand couldn't grip her doorknob, so I just stared on her door while pouring out my regrets.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I didn't mean to forget our date. I was just stuck in a situation. I promise to make it up to you tomorrow." I finished my words and leaned my forehead against the door,"I promise."

I sent an apology message to her and wished for her a good night sleep. I wasn't expecting any reply from her, so I just went straight to my bedroom and ended the day with a heavy sigh.

annoyingly woke up by the sound of notifications. my half-hooded eyes checked for the messages and I groaned as it was chohee asking me to come over because her parents were busy again.

I was so mad at myself because I dared to leave the house without telling anyone and just went straight to the hospital. "jungkook, I miss you!"

hyemi

"you're late today," said the ambitious girl, eunji. she wiped all of the tables while singing a song softly, "and you don't look well too." In fact, I wasn't feeling well too, after reading jungkook's pure apology, I thought that I could see him.

funnily that he wasn't even in his room, I hadn't seen him since the day before. "I don't know, it's probably the weather—" I stopped talking when eunji opened the curtain, as a clear blue sky was seen through the window. "or just I'm tired after playing basketball last night."

"or, you're just sad."

I shook my head slowly, "why would I be sad? I'm just feeling a little gloomy." I heaved a sigh and began my work even though all I wanted to do at that time was lie on my bed and just hide and cry.

working as cashier made me see more about people—especially people's personalities. I've met someone impatient, slow, fast, rude, harsh, sweet, soft and just more. I've encountered customers that were having a bad day, stressed day, sad day, even a happy day.

I experienced more through listening to their story. relationships fighting for what was best for them, parents quarrelling because of their children, and even students stressing out about assignments.

"hey," a voice interrupted my track of thoughts but I remained calm as I plastered a sweet smile. "I hope you're doing fine now," he added and I just gave him a little nod—I wasn't fine, I was just at least a little at ease.

"I'm alright, a little hungry but—" my lips were sealed when I saw two familiar faces walking passed the cafe. I even realised that one of them saw my face clearly, "oh no no no no no!" I ignored chanyeol asking questions if I was fine.

my eyes were right, the familiar faces saw me, they were entering the cafe with their eyes looking at the surrounding. I was hiding under the counter and chanyeol was gladly there so he could replace me for a little while.

"can I get your orders?" chanyeol politely asked before he explained a few drinks that was famous in the cafe, however he was cut off by a sudden question that I had expected.

"is hyemi working here?"

even chanyeol was dumbstruck, he didn't know anything that happened but he understood my situation for hiding from them. "who?" he asked, "do you hyomin?" we did have a staff named hyomin, but she quit a couple days before.

"see, I told you that you were seeing things!"

"mark, shut up. I swear to god, I saw my girl and she even saw me."

"can you not embarrass me—"

I couldn't help but to smile as I listened to them bickering, I was glad that they got along. even though mark was a little harsh to monghee, they were actually sharing their love without themselves knowing.

they left the cafe after awhile, I stood back up once chanyeol signalled me that they were completely out of sight. "thank you so much," I sincerely told him with a sigh of relieved.

once my shift ended, chanyeol decided to walk me home again. and I was too tired to refuse, so we kept walking without talking. we just hummed a few songs and laughed a few things, after that I entered the apartment and he left.

"hyemi."

"he's not home yet?"

I tried calling him multiple times, alas he wasn't even checking my messages. I wanted to accept his apology but I couldn't, because it seemed stupid. he made me feel stupid that I thought that I was really stupid.

"we're sorry hyemi, we haven't seen him since yesterday."