My Boy [under editing]

Ch. 21

IT HURTS

❝My heart kept aching, so I wanted to forget.❞
—stay with me, chanyeol x punch

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jungkook

"I swear to god, if I ever find any shit that will hurt hyemi, I will tear you apart and tell her that you are worth her time."

I could only roll my eyes listening to his words, "and what? you're going to take her away from me?" I turned around and looked into his sharp glare, "dude. you said have no feelings with her, why the fuck are you so bothered?"

he furrowed his brows before he clutched my collar and pushed me against the wall. "doesn't matter if I have feelings for her or not," he gritted his teeth and I admitted I was scared of the furious side of him, "we are all bothered, we care for her and if we hear her crying in her room one more time —"

"and you'll what? mind your own business. she's my girlfriend —"

he clutched my collar tighter, "then act like she is your girlfriend." I could see fire in both of his eyes, he was so angry that I could feel the heat in his fingers as he kept pushing me on the wall, ready to punch me. "after all those months, weeks, days? now you have her, you don't worry about her?"

"you know nothing —"

"I know I don't," he admitted, "but lee hyemi, was my best friend. having her as your girlfriend, does not mean that you owe her and left her that way, you dumb ass." he released his grip and I could finally breathe steadily.

he walked away and went straight out from the apartment. I coughed and packed up my things before I wore my shoes. then I went to the hospital again to visit her. the moment she opened her eyes, I remembered back our past together.

"hey," I called her as she formed that sweet smile, though she looked weak, she still looked beautiful. "how are you feeling today?" I asked, once I entered her room and closed the door.

"I'm feeling great with you here," she answered, trying to sit up straight but she couldn't, so I came forward and helped her. "thank you, jungkook," she was breathless as if she was in an invisible bubble that contains less oxygen.

there were dark circles under her eyes and her lips were pale, she looked like she was dying but with a smile. she was still smiling and laughing even though she had a hard time breathing, I felt bad for her.

which was why I stayed. "do you want anything?" I tried to become a friend that can keep her company, at least she wouldn't feel useless in the world. I would buy her foods at the hospital's canteen, sometimes I would bring her outside with a wheelchair.

she looked at me intently, "can you —" she gulped slowly, "can you hug me?" her voice was soft, she didn't sound like herself and that killed me. I felt bad that she was weak, that she couldn't be powerful like she used to.

so I didn't hesitate to spread my arms and wrapped her small figure tightly. "please recover fast," I whispered closely in her ear, "I miss you." I didn't know it hurts to say it — like I was stabbed, right in my heart.

I could feel my shirt soaked in wet as I heard her sobbing quietly against me. "thank you, jungkook, for staying," she cried softly while tightening the hug, "I love you." listening to her confessing her love to me hurt me even more.

what am I doing?

I just caressed her hair before I pulled away the hug, "I need to go to the bathroom," I told her as I walked away from her bed, "do you need anything?" she shook her head with a weak smile, "okay."

there was something wrong being in that room. I felt bad, I felt like I just betrayed someone but I didn't understand why because all I did, was just to be a good friend that stays beside her because she was dying.

hyemi

I couldn't hold in my laughter whenever I was with chanyeol and eunji, they gave the best joke and I just couldn't, seriously, I couldn't help but to laugh out loud in the cafe. every daylight having them during shift hours were the best.

unfortunately, every time I walked out from the cafe, I felt empty again. sometimes chanyeol would walk with me, and he would tell me jokes and just shared his playlist. he became my close friend, I mean we didn't talk deep things but we were there for one another.

"see you tomorrow," he simply said with a little wave and I returned back the favour with a bigger wave. "please be happy, lee hyemi!" he shouted as soon I was near to the building, I laughed while I went inside and got into the lift.

then, stepping inside the apartment made me feel sad all over again. walking passed his room would always brought me into tears, I wanted to stop crying but I just missed him that it hurts so much because I didn't what was happening between us.

I didn't know why it hurts so bad, but it just felt so painful. knowing that he wasn't there, knowing that he wouldn't answer my phone, and knowing that he ignored my messages —I felt like I was in love alone.

that I was played by him after all those time. but I couldn't think that way because I trusted him, that I believed that he wasn't like those kind of guys. I knew he was a man with worth, and I loved him.

I entered my room and locked the door, slowly I slid down on the floor and hugged my knees. it felt the same all over again; unwanted and useless —like I was just a piece of tissue. I was wanted and once done, I was thrown away.

I tried holding my voice, but I accidentally let out a loud sob with myself sniffing continuously. I wanted to know if he loves me the way he said he is. I wanted to know that if I was just being a fool for trusting him, I wanted to feel the same way I felt before with him.

but it was all gone.