Seungmin hates this. He hates seeing the sagged shoulders of the older, the soulless smile of his, hates how Minho just gives up! He especially hates how Minho decided that the only way for him to continue doing business is to burn away his passion for it and dedicate his remaining life to be someone who he is not.
Again, he is aware of how considerate Minho is as a person but in this situation? Seungmin wished the older would be more selfish. As much as he wants to disentangle himself from his family, he does not want to hurt Minho in the process. The older does not want the price of his passion to be his wellbeing, then he too does not want the price of his wellbeing to be Minho's passion.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Minho shook his head, "Seungmin–"
"No, Minho. I'm not leaving you," he interjected, steeling himself to keep looking directly into Minho's searching eyes. "I never found a reason to like business but you're different. You're dedicated, you're committed, and I know you want to prove your worth to your family, to the public–"
"To yourself."
Seungmin put his tea cup on the table and threw caution to the wind as he inched closer to the older. When Minho did not scoot away, Seungmin carefully but surely, gather the older's hands in his. The smaller hands of his are snugly encased in Seungmin's larger ones. The younger gave them a firm squeeze, while keeping their eyes locked onto each other.
You can't force feelings, but you can talk about feelings.
"Minho. I like you."
Despite his heart threatening to jump out of his rib cage, Seungmin continued, "I like you– I have been, since our first dinner. So I'm not– I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay with you."
"Seungmin..." Minho exhaled shakily but the younger shook his head, indicating that he still has more to say.
"I can't have you settled on being acknowledged as Bang Chan's brother-in-law rather than as Lee Minho. You deserve to be seen by everyone and I will make that happen. I won't ask you to change how you see me just because of what I said, but I ask of you to allow me to treat you as someone I care for, romantically."
Minho can't take his eyes off of the way Seungmin carefully thumbed at Minho's wrists, exactly where his pulse is. Beating at a provocative pace, as if threatening to let Seungmin know of something Minho himself isn't aware of.
"Just let me like you, and help you achieve your goal."
This is not something new. There is no surprise that Seungmin harbors feelings for Minho. Both of them knew Seungmin was a goner from the beginning. And yet, Minho never takes advantage of that. Minho never used Seungmin's feelings as leverage to get what he wants.
However, this is the first time Seungmin has vocalised it. This is the first time Seungmin has verbally confirmed his feelings for Minho. That, is new.
And from all the scenarios he had imagined how Minho would react if he ever confessed like this, Seungmin never imagined one where Minho tugged him closer by his wrists and let his forehead meets Seungmin's shoulder.
This was the closest they have ever been with each other. Hints of mint in citrus coming from the older invade his senses and they calmed his nerves impossibly fast. Seungmin had to refrain from pulling Minho closer just to catch more of that soothing smell. He is one greedy man when it comes to Lee Minho, he has yearned to be close with the older, to openly express his affection, but for now, his heart is content.
"I don't want you hurt," the older murmured.
This was the most clear Minho is with his feelings.
Minho might not like him, might not reciprocate his feelings like how Seungmin, deep inside, wished he would, but one thing that made his heart skip a beat from the older's loaded confession is that, Minho genuinely cares for him more than he expected.
It must have taken a lot of courage for Minho to say that and that warmed his face as how it warmed his chest.
"It'll be okay. I'll make it okay."
"Okay," the older murmured, and silence befalls them for a moment. Seungmin gently rest his cheek on Minho's head, heart beating a tad bit faster when the older did not pull away.
"Hyunjinie said the new drama is worth watching."
Minho light heartedly scoffed, "Doesn't he said that about the previous drama? It was disorganised."
"That's true," Seungmin smiled widely to himself, recalling the night they decided to give the drama a try but gave up just half episode, before giving a squeeze to the hands that are still in his, inwardly hoping his heart beat was not too loud. "Do you want to watch an episode with me?"
A squeeze, "Sure."
God, Seungmin is so in love.
••••••••
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Past Me was a Fool (2min)
Fanfictionlmh x ksm • started with an arranged marriage •••••••• Privately, Lee Minho is married to a Kim Seungmin as a man. Publicly, Lee Minho is 'married' to a Bang Chan with the guise of a woman. Will Seungmin have his "until death do us apart" with his...