Under Control.

chapter twenty.

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Julian steals gingerly out of the bathroom and makes his way down the hallway, escaping the notice of his bandmates on his way to the safety of his room.

Nora follows him a beat or two later, refilling his glass of water before sneaking past the collective of rowdy boys who were all too focused on other things to notice her.

After managing to avoid squeaking floorboards and whining hinges, Nora shuts the door quietly behind them, and once she does, the air shifts. Because all that's left in Julian's room is the two of them now, the swirling glow of the falling snow outside, and all of the many things that are still left unsaid between them.

For his part, Julian is a shell of himself where he sits at the foot of his bed, his hands worrying and tangled in his lap with his eyes pointed toward the ground.

'Here,' Nora sets his glass on the makeshift bedside table and the bottle of painkillers she'd pocketed earlier too, before settling gingerly beside him. She can't decide where to look exactly, and so instead of deciding, she lets her gaze wander around the room.

Julian's space is pretty much exactly as she imagined it might be. Relatively organised chaos, just like him. It's a mess but it's a defined mess, and all of the things that are laying around are placed with a purpose. There's instruments and scribbled on sheet music, art of various kinds — stuff he's interested in, and stuff he's seemingly been given — the occasional book, piles of clothes whose cleanliness is unknowable, and in one corner, all of the bags he'd taken with him and then brought back, still not unpacked.

Nora posits that there's probably more to it than just him not having gotten around to it, yet. Probably, she thinks, it's because he'll be gone again soon enough. And so, apart from anything else, where did that leave them?

'I would have cleaned up if I'd known you were going to be in here.' Julian mumbles finally, from his spot beside her.

Nora hadn't noticed that he'd been watching her take in their jumbled surroundings, and so it's all she can do not to laugh at the morose look on his face. A knowing smile quirks at the corner of her mouth. 'Would you have, though?' she says, and they both know that the answer is no. And so Julian joins her in her timid giggles then, and with that, the air around them finally begins to settle.

There's a beat, a gentle silence, and then Nora nods toward the bags she'd been considering. 'You guys will be heading back out again pretty soon, I guess?'

But, Julian doesn't look like he wants to think about that right now — the world that exists outside of this room, and all of the dangers lurking there. So instead of answering he shrugs, tries another small smile, and then rubs at his weary face before gulping down a deep breath.

'Albert gave you a copy of the album?' He's being subtle enough, but Nora catches on quickly. Talk of leaving might be too much for the delicate truce they seemed to have reached, just yet.

'Yeah. But, like I said, I haven't listened to it. I wanted to check with you first.' Nora wriggles in her spot, restless, before deciding to settle back against the unmade covers of the bed. She watches Julian all the while, watches him thinking about whether or not to join her in her uneasy repose.

In the end, he does, laying down beside her and turning his heavy head, his half-closed eyes, toward her in the silvery darkness. 'I, yeah,' he starts, then stops to think, before starting again. 'I'd like that. To hear what you think, I mean.'

Nora nods, doing some thinking of her own. They both know that she's going to listen to the album in any case, and while she's sure she'll like it — in spite of whatever secrets might be lying in wait amongst all the pretty notes — Julian is less sure.