Under Control.

chapter sixty.

+

The job is new, but also, it's not.

In so many ways, it's unlike anything Nora has ever done before. She's nervous, but excited, and, for the first time in a long time, fulfilled.

Perfection isn't real and there are so many things that exist in the space between work, and life. And for Nora and Julian, those things are Al, and jet-lag, hangovers, and the hint of disquiet that comes along with temptation or disappearing too far into one crutch or another. There will always be worries to be had about time lost to being needed by other people and the outside world, and sleep lost to wondering — about work, about being gone, and all the things that one cannot see or know. But amongst it all, what's real is a strange stability that's theirs alone — Nora and Julian's.

The safe harbour that is their togetherness is a movable thing, and they can find it together at home and in hotel rooms, alike. It's there in the secluded corners of busy rooms, or abandoned hallways, shuttling in cars or planes, crammed into dressing rooms, or hiding down shadowy streets that paved the way back to bed. And once they find their way there — anywhere that there might be — they can rest together in peace for a while and recharge, before daring to venture out into the beyond, again.

Yesterday, the adventure was Nora's to be had, and Julian had been glad to follow her. Because the truth was that going with Nora to scout studios and student shows wasn't just a good way for Julian to escape the ever-present risk that trailed him of being dragged into an interview, a photoshoot, or just generally having a camera shoved in his face.

It also gave him an excuse to be someone else's, for a while.

Julian was acutely aware of just how often Nora was reduced, these days, to being his and little more. His girlfriend, his date, the mystery woman who appeared behind in him The Post, or in stories drooled over online. And he didn't much like it. Not just because he was worried that Nora didn't either, but rather, he hated it because he knew her, and he knew that amongst all of the very and many things that Nora was, a footnote in his existence was not one of them.

And so Julian had tagged along to see Nora do her thing, because he had the time and he could. But also, because when he trailed alongside her into a room filled with beautiful things and creative people, barely anyone cared that he was there. She was the headliner then, and he loved that. Because, her loved her.

Today, though — here, this morning — their hotel room bed was the centre of everything. And neither of them would care to have it any other way.

On mornings when Julian wasn't expected anywhere and Nora's work consisted of staring hard at things and thoughtfully considering them, he and she stayed put, barely clothed, and lived among the sheets. They woke up like they did — late, with bleary heads and delicious aches — and emerged into the day slowly, with sleepy chatter and lazy kisses. Then, they'd escape into the shower before inevitably falling back into bed again, and then they'd eat together, and chatter still.

Julian wanted to hear what Nora thought of the work she'd seen, and so he listened carefully while she scanned through photographs and portfolios, and he marvelled as she pieced together the beginnings of a show. All of what she'd seen here with him in California and all of what she'd scouted back home before they'd left, made up the US portion of a much larger puzzle that would become an art fair, managed by her old boss — the one who knew Nora and all of her brilliant oddness the best, and who had wanted to take advantage of it all earlier but had known that it was too soon for her, yet. And so, The Boss had waited.

Ash had apparently been the one to suggest her for the job in the end, despite the fact that she had already been front of mind. He'd been the one who had confirmed Nora's readiness, and the simple fact that she had somehow managed to get better and even more stubbornly determined through all of her recent flamboyant tribulations. And so even though Julian didn't often like to think of him — of Nora with Ash, and that moment in time when Julian and Nora had fallen apart — he had to give credit where it was due. Because Nora was happy, and this was working — them, like they were — in the storm that could be a life alongside him.