Under Control.

chapter fifty one.

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Nora and Julian were not friends.

They never had been.

And the moment that fact had crystallised for Nora, was when the words were leaving Julian's singing mouth, up on stage, in front of a room full of strangers.

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The day had started out well enough.

Nora had spent the daylight portion of her waking hours frenzied, criss-crossing the city, and jumping from meeting to meeting. Her motivation for running herself ragged was mostly thanks to her many and varied attempts at landing herself a new job — and, she hoped, managing to avoid the ever-impending need to move. But the added aside to all of her self-inflicted tumult was that while she was sufficiently distracted, Nora had barely had time to dwell on the promise that she'd made to Julian to show up to the gig tonight, and make good on his invitation to be friends.

In the end, Nora does manage to make it almost all the way through her day without ever once pausing to think too much or too hard about any of it — not Julian, the echo of them together, or what strange fate awaited her come nightfall. But her peace only lasts so long, and it ends near the very end of her runabout day, when her so-called friend calls out of the blue just to check in, and to make sure that Nora still intended to keep her word.

Julian was positively sweet on the phone. He sounded well and a little bit sleepy and it was all torture enough without the soft voice in the background calling out his name. But still, Nora manages to get through the whole thing with a tight smile on her face that carries in her voice, and she ends it with the renewed assurance that she would be showing up tonight (cross her heart and hope very much to die) just like she'd promised.

After hanging up and catching her breath in the meantime, Nora manages to put it all and Julian too out of her mind again for just long enough to convince an old friend to give her a contract so tiny it will barely cover her rent for the next month. And then, by the time the sun is disappearing over the horizon again, making way for the night and all of Nora's gnawing anxieties with it, she's hot-footing her way back across town and toward home just in time for dinner.

Ash had been wanting to see Nora's place ever since they'd first started dating, and it was a desire that had only grown since their accidental run-in with New York's motliest misfits a few weeks ago. He'd been harmlessly nagging her about it on and off ever since, and so in an effort to pile distraction on top of distraction, Nora had finally agreed to have him over tonight, but on the strict condition that he bring food, make no judgements, and help her to zip up her rip-off Dolce dress before she left for the night.

And in the end, Ash makes good on all of his promises, and he does it with a warm smile on his face. Before Nora leaves him to walk into the fire, they eat Chinese takeout on her barren floor and make small talk, and nice. Ash is kind and steady and he knows himself — in part because he's that bit older than Nora, but as well because he has a job and an apartment with furniture and a consistent way of paying his rent. He doesn't play any instruments or paint, but he does read a lot, and he is thoughtful and interested in the mess that is Nora, and her life that is so far apart from his own.

They met months ago through a friend of a friend at a dinner party that Nora hadn't wanted to attend, and they'd started off by not knowing anything about the other except for what they looked like naked in the dark. But then, slowly but surely, they'd built things up from there. Ash didn't expect much from her and Nora didn't either in return, but they enjoyed each other's company, and Nora knew, deep down — in the recesses of herself where she kept all of her common sense, these days — that he was a good man.