The Things That I Know || George Michael

thirty-four - that's not an excuse

Note: this chapter contains brief mention of toxic relationships.

• • •

"Hello?" Levi calls, as he enters the front door of the house. "George?"

"In the living room," George's voice calls back.

Levi removes his coat and scarf, carefully draping them on the coat stand by the doorway before making a beeline for the living room, where his husband is sat on the sofa waiting for him. "Hey, George."

"Hello, darling," George responds, a welcoming smile settling across his lips. "How did the visit with Mack go?"

"There's a lot to talk about," Levi answers, almost breathless just thinking about all he has to say. "And you might not believe it when I tell you."

"Try me," George challenges, with little emphasis in his tone aside from curiosity. He pats the space on the sofa next to him, inviting Levi to come and sit.

"Okay." Levi obliges, taking a seat. "So, I asked Mack a few things. Of course, the first question I had, was whether he'd ever done this to anybody else before. He said I was the only person he'd threatened with any kind of weapon."

"And you believed that bullshit?" George raises one brow, unconvinced.

"He had no reason to lie to me," Levi argues. "He literally has nothing to lose. He's a very lonely, isolated man, George."

"And you know that for a fact?" George retorts. "What about his family? Friends? He must have somebody. You can't feel sorry for him after what he did, surely?"

"I don't," Levi assures him. "I'm not defending him. Not even slightly. I'm just telling you what he said. And I do believe it. He told me a lot about his past."

"So, let's hear it then." George leans back onto the cushions of the sofa, almost amused hearing about Mackenzie's allegedly tragic life.

"He said that he knew he was gay his entire life, or near enough. But his family was extremely homophobic, so he had to hide it," Levi explains. "That's why he ended up with Stephanie. And then his wife — the one he had kids with."

"That doesn't answer why he abused Steph — nor does it answer why he tried to kill you," George reminds him.

"He told me he regretted all the abuse he gave to his partners in the past. He said that everything he controlled about Steph was to try and shape her into the ideal woman, or something like that — he said it was to try and force himself to be straight. Which obviously is impossible."

"What the fuck?" George murmurs, disappointed that such vile treatment towards his ex-turned-friend could be justified with such an awful reason. "That's not an excuse to ruin somebody's entire life."

"Of course not," Levi agrees. "And at some point, obviously we'll have to tell Steph all this too. But anyway — the main part of all this ... "

"Go on," George encourages.

"So, as I said, his family was homophobic. He had two siblings — an older sister, and a younger brother. But his entire family disowned him way back when. He said he'd been rejected his entire life ... but once his family cut him off, he could be more open about his sexuality. So, he started looking for meaningless flings with guys. If anybody rejected his advances, he took it personal." Levi sighs, unsure whether to feel pity for Mackenzie, or deep hatred. "Obviously I was one of those guys. Or so I thought. The reason why I was so different, and was actually threatened with a knife ... was because apparently, he wanted more with me than just a one-night stand. And he said he'd never felt that before."