A Life of a R5er (Ross Lynch/R5/Fan Fiction)

Chapter 33 : This Isn't A Goodbye

                                                                             Loghan's P.O.V.

It's been a few days since the thing that happened between me and Ross. I haven't talked to him or anyone really. Not even my own family. I haven't really left my room only to go get something to eat or drink. Depressing I know but he broke me in ways I have never known I can be in that way. That's the second time he has done that.

This time is worse he actually did it and it was his brothers fault. It was just him not caring. That proves he doesn't. They have called and text me over and over again. But I never responded. I've heard them stop by and try to come in my room. The only problem is I never heard Ross's.

I wish I did but if I did I would just brake down again. All I would do everyday is wake up, grab a few snacks, come in and lock my room, watch movies, be in my bed all day enless I had to use the restroom.

Boring right. Every now and then my mom knocks on the door asking if I was okay and if I need someone to talk to she's there. I don't say anything to her. I realized I shouldn't be acting like this I should be who I am not the girl that gets her heartbroken very easily. Some how he did.

I did love him to death. He was one of the things that mad me happy when no one else would. Rocky couldn't even do that. Did he love the way I did him? At first I wanted nothing to do with him but now well later I loved him and now I don't know anymore.

I have to fix myself together. I can't be like this forever. I get up out of my bed and head in the shower. It feels good to have one and relax. The times that I have I would just cry and cry. My eyes are probably all dried up from all of it.

Once I get out I dry my hair and but on some make up. Only a little. Like I said before I'm not into all the make up. I go in my closet to find something. I don't so I grab the first thing I see. Which is a black tank top that's lace in the back and black skinny jeans.

Before I leave my room I brush my teeth. I walk out slowly not sure how my brother and mom will react seeing me out the room. Ryan is in the living room playing video games. He looks at me and says. ''You're out.'' in shook. My mom comes running towards me hugging me. ''Okay okay mom I can't breath.'' I tell her. She lets go. ''Sorry I'm just happy to see you out of your room.'' She says. ''The only way to get over it is to go over there and talk to them.'' I tell her.

''You sure do you need a ride?'' My mom asked. I nodded my head. I wasn't sure if my mom should come with me or not. We started walking to the car. ''Mom.'' I say. She stops and looks at me. ''I think it's best for me to do this on my own.'' I tell her.

''Okay baby but if you need me to come get you I will.'' She says. ''Thanks.'' I walk over to the car. I fumble with the keys trying to the door open. I finally get it. I take a deep breath before I start the car.

Once I'm over there my tears come back. I'm so scared of what will happen in there. I get out and walk slowly to their front door. I knock a few times. The person that I didn't want opening my door did. Ross.

He doesn't look good. His hair is all messed up. His eyes are red and puffy like mine. He looks skinnier then usual. ''Hi.'' That's all I can say. I don't know what else to say.

''What are you doing here?'' He asks. His voice is so weak. ''I came.....to..get..my.........things.'' I could barly say that. It is true I did I wanted to come here for a reason but I can't do it. ''It's in my room.'' He says. I come inside and look around like I never seen this place before.

''Where is everyone?'' I ask. ''They are all gone the went to go eat but I decided not to go.'' I don't say anything I just go in his room and grab my things. He follows. ''Can we please talk?'' He asked before I walked out of his room.

''There's nothing to talk about.'' I tell him not looking at him and heading to the door. I thought I could do it but I can't. He blocked the door like he did when I saw those two in bed. ''Please let me you tell you.'' He says.

I start to cry. I turn towards the kitchen and sit on the chair by the counter. ''Fine talk.'' I tell him. ''I'm so sorry I did that I wasn't thinking I was being so stupid at the time I love you and always will please be with me.'' He says and starts to have tears in his eyes. ''I'm not going to you did it again after you said you wont do it again.'' I tell him.

''For the past days I didn't really do anything all I did was stay in bed and sleep and cry. I didn't eat much. They all tried to get me out and to eat but I said no not intill I get to see your face and love you again.'' He says grabbing my hands. I flinch at him.

''Don't touch me.'' I say having my neck turned. ''I'm sorry please forgive me I don't know what to say or do.'' He says. ''You don't know what to say. Nothing will change what you did.'' I yell at him.

''Just forgive me that's all I'm asking.'' He says. I know I shouldn't forgive him but it will remove the weight on my shoulders. Just because I'm forgiving him doesn't mean we're are together or anything.

''I....I forgive you but that doesn't mean everything will go back to the way they were. I'm not going to be with you. That would make me very stupid to do I'm a person you know that's it. I don't have your trust just yet to be my friend.'' I tell him.

He has a half of a smile. I don't know what to do the weight is lifted off my shoulders and I feel better. As me and Ross got up everyone walked through the door. The guys and Rydel screamed and tackled me ''SHE'S BACK!'' I have a smile on my face. ''I can't breath.'' I say. They all get up give me hugs.

''So are you guys good?'' Ellington asked. ''Kind of I did forgive him that's all we're not together or anything.'' I tell them. ''Well your always welcomed here.''Stormie says giving me a hug.

''Thanks.'' I say. ''Well I gotta go.'' I tell them. ''Why do you have to leave?'' Rydel asked. ''I think it's best for me to go.'' I tell her. I give them all hugs. ''I'll walk you out.'' Ross says. I allow him to.

We walk out the door. ''Bye.'' I tell him. ''Bye I hope we can still be friends.'' He says. This isn't weird at all. ''I'm promise you this isn't a goodbye.'' I tell him before walking towards my car.

A/N- hi guys well this is the last chapter of this story. I will have a epilogue after this. If you don't know what it is then its like what the story means or what the point is. It's something like that. I am going to miss making this story. I might start a teen fiction of  my friends Sydney and Tristan. I'm not sure when or what it will be called. I think I'm going to wait to make another R5 story because school starts back in August. Ennnjjjjoooyyyy::::::))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))00