Empowered

Prologue

Warning:

This book is entirely based in fact, and every single character is real. HAH! Just screwing with you! This book is mainly a glimpse into the world of one person's delusional fantasy. Any persons depicted in the following story, while perhaps inspired by real people who currently exist or have existed, are not literally those real people in question. The author is a crazy person whose fantasy world, while based in reality, is, as you will see, nothing like it. Besides, even if she wanted to make the story as realistic as possible, she could never actually hope to capture the complexities and intricacies of the natural world, let alone the people who inhabit it. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this motherfucking roller coaster, but not too much.

Prologue

Since you've picked up this book, I'm betting you want to read some kind of story. Well, do I have a story for you! Now, you're probably wondering: "What can she promise will be in this story?" Let's see, how about a bit of action, drama, a shit ton of comedy, horror, and did I mention penises? HAH! Just kidding again. By the way, the humor in this book will be very immature in case you haven't figured that out already, and indeed there will be no penises because our protagonist is a fifteen-year-old girl, and this story doesn't take place in Alabama. If I've lost you due to the lack of penises, this is not an erotic novel, so kindly discard this book and pick up one of Virginia Wade's enticing stories. Not to mention that there's plenty of porn on the internet, so I have no clue why you picked up a book with no pictures to satisfy your insatiable penis lust.

Hopefully, you read the warning on the first page. As it says, this narrative is very delusional. Additionally, the notice does not do the violence and brutality of this story justice, so as your humble narrator, I courteously warn you now that painful, savage, and disturbed all describe this tale very aptly. So, stop reading if you don't intend to continuously gasp in horror or throw up.

I see you've stuck around. As I mentioned, our main character is a fifteen-year-old girl. However, I want to start this story by telling you about something that happened to this girl when she was only eleven. Also, you'll note that having an eleven-year-old as a central figure for the time being is an excellent reason not to have literal penises mentioned.

The idea behind this prologue is that I will set some backstory up for you before the narrative begins. So, here's something vital you should know – I'm a liar. I lie all the time – mainly because I'm trying to protect people, which may very well include you, the reader. Although I occasionally lie because I'm bored, let's just assume for the sake of argument that I'm telling the truth. By the way, here's a fun fact: everyone on this planet is a liar. Sidenote—this planet is Earth, right? Sometimes I forget which world I'm on, which might cause me some confusion throughout telling this story. But anyway, humans are frequent liars; if someone says they are not a liar, they're lying to you. Lies are the adhesive that keep society together, and you'll see the world our main character lives in is mainly constructed on lies. A second important fact you should know about your narrator is that I'm crazy. I don't mean wrapped up in a straitjacket and locked up in a padded room; at least, I don't think so anyway. I mean unstable in a fun and nonviolent way (maybe sometimes a little violent). Anyway, the things I tell you may be embellished and very far from the truth, and I may not even know it. But honestly, isn't everyone's perception of reality a little askew? And yes, in this version of the world that I live in, crazy people can know and willingly admit they are crazy and just not care. Anyhow, at least you know what I have to say will be exciting and entertaining. Enough about me; let's set up this story I'm about to tell.

The year is: I'm still determining. But the place is most definitely New Jersey. A small town in New Jersey, to be exact. A town so small, in fact, that practically any American or any non-American not from this town would never know its name. I'm tempted to call this place Lamesville, but in actuality, the things that happen in this town are far from lame, even though many people from this town are, in fact, quite lame, and by that, I mean they suck. They have nothing interesting to say because they're boring, yet they have this smug sense of superiority for some reason (I'm calling you out, Judy! You know what you did!). Anyway, the town I'm talking about is called Penistown. HAH! Just kidding again! It's called Edenic Point. Let me tell you what a fucking misnomer that is.