A Different Slice

23 - Decisions (Naomi)

Naomi searched through her closet, but it contained all the wrong clothes. Far too revealing dresses from before she'd embraced her asexuality, workout tops or others that were far too casual, and outfits from her times as an office worker. Next, she dug through her dresser with the same indecision settling inside. Should she choose a skirt or capris? A dress was too fancy, right? Or was it just enough?

She groaned and threw herself back on the bed. Shivanna laughed and entered the room to lie beside her.

"What are we mad at today?"

"Clothing. Why is it so hard to find something to wear?"

Shivanna chuckled. "Decisions aren't your strong suit. Don't you wear a uniform for softball?"

"It's for after the game, at Kieran's place." The ceiling stared back at Naomi, as blank as her mind.

"Wear what you want. No one's going to kick you out."

"That's the thing. I don't know what I want."

Shivanna propped herself up on her elbow, accentuating the poofy sleeves of her cute green tea blouse. She would fit right in at game night, looking fun, artsy, and attractive. If Naomi wore that, it would dip past her bra line without a touch of cleavage and emphasize her flat chest.

"Oh? You mean what you want with Kieran?"

Now that Shivanna spoke it into existence, Naomi couldn't deny it. "Sort of."

"Have you two ever talked about that?"

"We talk about relationships, but not with each other." Naomi sat up and smoothed her gray comforter. "He said he didn't want a relationship with Brinny."

"Did you overhear him say that to her?"

"No, he stared at me as he said it."

Shivanna grinned. "Like a romantic stare?"

Naomi scratched her neck. Her first instinct was yes, but what if she invented that because she was desperate for someone to want to date her despite her asexuality? "I don't know. He said they had to be with the right person."

"While still staring you down?"

Naomi nodded.

"Either he's a serial killer or into you. I haven't met the guy enough times, so you'll have to trust your gut."

She smiled. It was reassuring someone else sensed it too. "Kieran's the sweetest. I can't imagine him hurting anyone."

"So, he likes you. Is your heart recovered enough for a little fun?"

"It would be more than just fun. With Kieran, it's like he strips me down to my soul and sees everything I wish to overcome or hide. I've told him things in a few weeks that I'd never shared with Greg." It should have been a terrifying sensation, but it was strangely reassuring.

"As long as he's not stealing my spot as your bestie," Shivanna said with a grin. "Does he show you that side of him too?"

"Sometimes. He's mostly dealing with my moods." Although, he had been open with her about the go-karts and seemed genuinely unsettled about his size for the first time. He'd never brought it up, so she assumed he was fine with it. It wasn't something that had ever bothered her.

"I noticed you're not as down as I thought you'd be about Greg."

That was true. After Luke, she was convinced she'd be alone forever because the one person she'd believed accepted her asexuality had given up. He'd told her with tears in his eyes that she was incredible and he loved her so much. He'd tried for months to fight that feeling that something was missing between them. That blow had crushed her. Luke adored her and treated her with so much love and respect.