Because of You

W.D.Y.W.F.M.?

Jesse's POV

Today is Lena's funeral.

Thats the first thing that came to my mind, and Vern came immediately after. I loved her so much and I just wanted her to be happy, but it seemed as if her self doubt and inner mind wouldn't let her. She was getting a little better dealing with her pain, instead of drinking and smoking she went to the gym every day, at the same time, punching away. Violence is never the answer but I'd rather her doing something other then killing her body with all the harmful shit she was putting in it.

I walked downstairs to see the boys dressed in black suits as well, Zach holding some flowers he got for Bailey. We all hopped in the car and made our way to Vern's. I prayed that today wouldn't break her, I didn't know how much she could take. And I don't think I could handle seeing her fall apart again.

We pulled into their driveway and got out of the car. They let us in and everyone went their separate ways. I went upstairs, assuming Vern was in her room. I knocked and heard a small come in. I have entered to see Vern sitting on her bed.

She was a peculiar beauty and a definite sight to see. Her hair all natural waved around her small face, and her face was effortlessly beautiful despite the lack of makeup she was wearing. Her dress a simple black long sleeved knee length perfectly hugged her small frame. With the combination of her black dress and shoes, and her bruised blue and purple knuckles she was a swirl of dark colors. And at that time black and blue were my favorite colors, whatever she wore at the time was my favorite color. Because she exerted beauty and grace wherever she went and whatever she wore I would remember.

I must have been staring for a while because she giggled lightly at me, pulling me out of my trance. I sat next to her and she gravitated closer to me.

"Are you ready for today" I ask.

"No, but I have to be" she replied back.

"I got you something" I tell her. She looks confused as I reach into my pocket and pull out a rectangle shaped box. I hand it to her and she carefully opens it.

Inside was a necklace I had bought her, on it was a pendant heart that opened. On the inside Lena's name was engraved. She pulled it out and her eyes became glossy with tears. I immediately panicked, I fucked up.

"You don't like it, I'll take it back please don't cr-" I was cut off by a hug Vern was giving me.

"No, no I love it it's so amazing, you're so amazing" she says as she hugs me tighter and I return it pulling her impossibly closer.

"I'm happy you like it" she says.

"No I love it get it right Rutherford" she says playfully shoving me. She smiles and I haven't seen that in a while. It was nice. Her smile lit up the room.

We walked downstairs hand in hand mentally preparing each other for the day.

Bailey's POV

Today is Lena's funeral.

I felt broken and hurt inside. Somehow I hadn't cried since she it happened, I felt as if I had caused this as I had gotten injured. If I didn't, there would be no reason to watch me, nothing to forget, nothing to get yelled at, nothing to hurt themselves over. I shook the sad thoughts from my head and walked downstairs when I heard the doorbell. Jesse, Zach, and their friends arrived. I greeted them all and they came in. Jesse went straight to Vern's room and Zach pulled my into a separate room. He handed me a bouquet of flowers, they were beautiful. I smiled for the first time today, and I hugged him tight and he returned it. I was lucky to have him.

"I'll be by your side the whole time" he says to me the sound coming out muffled through my hair.

"Good, I'm really gonna need you" I reply. I don't know if it was minutes or seconds that our hug was, but all I knew it was too short. Every moment I went with him was too fast, I loved him so much I wanted to treasure every moment we spent together. We walked out of the room and Vern and Jesse walked downstairs hand in hand. I was glad she had him, I didn't wanna lose another friend.

We all gathered in the car, meeting the Matty and the boys later on. I'm just praying this day goes smoothly.

Vern's POV

Today is Lena's funeral.

I can't believe she's gone. As we rode in the car on the way to the funeral I leaned my head against the car window, trying to calm my mind. I learned to do that when I got too overwhelmed by my feelings. I still rarely talked to anyone, Bailey and Caroline haven't heard me speak barely ten words since that day. I didn't want to go to the funeral. I don't think I could handle it.

We walked out the cars and toward the service. Bailey had planned it outside, and of course the clouds covered the sky, threatening to downpour on an already depressing day. The viewing was yesterday but I had skipped, as I don't think I could handle seeing Lena laying there not moving or breathing. Not again.

Men moved the casket towards the spot where she was to be buried and people got in there spots. Matty, George, Jesse, and Zach stood across from us with their friends and we stood in the "family" section as all of her close family had passed away long ago.

The pastor began to speak and I felt tiny droplets of rain hit the top of my head. Everyone pulled out their umbrellas except for Bailey, Caroline and I. We stood next to each other, even though we hardly ever spoke anymore. By the next ten minutes Bailey and I were completely drenched but we didn't care. Once they started to place her coffin into the whole in the ground a wave of sadness hit me. It had never hit me that hard, and I'd never felt sadder then in that moment.

I assumed Bailey saw my hands clenched by my sides, since she grabbed one and held it tightly. I was clenching my fists so hard my palms started to bleed, and my knuckles started to ache from the previous bruises.

The guilt I tried to hold in had finally escaped me and I let out a loud sob. I started to cry and Bailey and Caroline started to as well as they pulled me in the hug. It reminded me of the times after concerts where we had group hugs and my heart broke more than it was already and I cried harder.

At a point I was numb to all the pain I felt. I fucked up and it was my fault and now one of my best friends were dead. I felt it hard to believe I had been that stupid. As people started to disperse to the reception at our house, I hadn't moved from my spot. Jesse had asked if I was alright, and I just shook my head yes. I told him I needed a little time alone and he reluctantly agreed and I told him I would take my car home. He got a ride with Zach and I stayed behind.

Everyone had cleared out and it was just me. As rain poured from the sky tears fell from my eyes and I wondered when it would stop. By this point it didn't matter if I had my eyes open or closed, I always saw the same darkness.

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Let's not talk about how sad Lena's funeral was, I didn't like writing that at all. If I put you in your feels I'm sorry. :(((

Anyway the 1975 are going on tour and I'm screaming I must get tickets

Also freakin teen choice nominated both Zayn Malik and One direction for Choice Male Hottie why all I ask is WHY. One Direction better win.

Ok enough with my incessant babbling I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter even though it's sad af. I didn't edit it bc I'm super lazy so please ignore errors.

Vote and comment!!!!