R.I.P. To My Youth

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Everything's different.

The girls and I decided to spilt and end the band. It's not the same without Lena. We let out the album we had prepared as a tribute to Lena and ended it there. We all moved out.

Bailey lives with Zach and the boys, while Caroline and I found a nice small flat to share. The girls were proud of me for getting better. Honestly I was tired of being sad.

I haven't talked to Jesse in fifteen days. He keeps calling and coming by but what he said pushed me over the edge. And I was mad.
I feel like all my sadness turned into rage and I was taking it out at kickboxing.

I was in the ring practicing with my trainer when the guy in the front told me someone was here for me. I sighed and took off my stuff telling my trainer I was done for today. I think he was glad because I kind of beat him up today.

"A lot of anger in you today" he says as he raises the rope for me helping me get out of the ring.

"I've got a lot on my mind" I said and he nodded. He was really kind and he helped me control my flashbacks, making life just a little bit easier.

I grabbed my bag and walked out to see Jesse waiting in the lobby. I didn't wanna see him. Every time I did my heart broke and if I was honest I missed him so much.

"Hey" he said as he walked over to me. I bit my lip and played with my hair and bad habit I had gotten when I was nervous.

"Hi" I said. My voice seemed more like a whisper. I'm surprised he heard it.
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Jesses POV

I was nervous going to see her. She wouldn't talk to me after I threw her best friends death in face. I don't know why I did that. I was just so mad for that douche hitting her and then her not doing anything about it.

Bailey told me I should go see her if I miss her. When she talked about her she seemed sad. Vern just kind of stopped talking to everyone. She said she needed to remove herself to get better, and try to be her again. I could understand but I really really need her in my life.

I looked up to see Vern coming out, even after working out she was amazing. She saw me and her eyes widened and she wouldn't look at me, only her feet.

"Hey" I said hoping to spark up a conversation. She looked like she was having a war in her head, eyebrows furrowed and her little nose scrunched.

"Hi" she said so lowly I could barely hear. She started playing with her hair and bitting her lip and I could feel my pants tighten. I internally groaned this wasn't the time. But I couldn't help myself.

I walked quickly toward her grabbing her face and pulling her lips toward mine. She dropped her bag and her hands wrapped around my shoulders. I nipped at her bottom lip causing her to let out a small moan.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her closer and we looked at each other foreheads touching.

"I'm sorry"

"Me too"

I pulled her into a hug and I don't think we could've gotten any closer if we tried. And here I realized that I was in love with this girl. Extremely and crazy in love with her. I needed her presence to make me feel better, and I wanted to protect her even though I have been doing a shitty job lately.

"I missed you" I whispered so low that I'm sure she didn't hear. But her grip tightened and in that moment I'm sure she did.

"I missed you too" she said and her voice sounded heavenly. I was scared she didn't miss me as much as I did her, and most of the time I felt as if I loved her a lot more that me and that broke my heart in a way. But I would do anything for her.

"Can I take you out tonight" I ask and I get nervous. I don't know if she forgave me from what I did before. I was kind of an asshole.

"Umm what did you have in mind" she says and I mentally panic. I didn't think about it and I'm so fucking stupid.

"It's a surprise, just dress casual" I say and she just nodded. Her face looked conflicted and I wondered if she regretted saying yes. She hadn't talked to any of us really only texting to checking in and making sure we were ok.

She wasn't the same and i didn't know if we would ever get back to that time when she was extremely happy. I hoped so, but honestly I don't think so. She was so different and I didn't know how tonight would go.

"Well I better go, I'll see you tonight" she said with a small smile and before I could do or say anything she was out the door.

I watched her walk out and I frozen in my place thinking of all the shitty things that could happen tonight. Breathe Jesse Jesus Christ. Before I could stress out anymore I walked out and went to my car. I hope this goes smoothly...

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GUYSSS IM BACK. IM REALLY SORRY I WAS SO BUSY THIS SUMMER I FORGOT TO UPDATE. BUT NOW I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER AND I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS!!!

ALSO BUY RIP TO MY YOUTH ON ITUNES BC ITS AMAZING

A M A Z I N G

And I have a new story out called Good Feelings :)))) it's a Harry fan fic for all those Harry girls out there including me so PLEASE CHECK IT OUT !!

ANYWAY lol love you guys please please vote and comment

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