Watch Me Drown

1. Reunion

(Abigail's point of view)

It was finally time. The exact night, the exact minute, the exact second I had been waiting for. I watched the clock on my phone's lock screen change to eight fifteen, and smiled as "The Boys Are Back In Town" started playing. The crowd went wild, screaming and shoving one another for a good view. I felt very lucky to be in the tent, which was reserved for family, friends, or other celebrities.

When the song faded away and the screen turned on, my breath caught in my throat. There was my girlfriend, my soulmate, of three years, looking beautiful as ever, feet away from me, instead of states. Despite the raging base and guitar that "$20" consisted of, tears welled in my eyes when they all emerged from the smoke. The fans stopped screaming to sing along, meanwhile I wiped my eyes and laughed at myself.

Thing is, I hadn't seen Julien in a month, which was the longest we had ever been apart. We sound clingy, I know, but it was weird, waking up all alone in our big bed, my only company being our dog and the occasional friend. I kept myself busy, yet I still caught myself feeling lonely. I knew for Julien, she could be with friends and still get lonely. We FaceTimed when she could and texted, but I just wanted her in my arms, her lips on mine.

She was on tour with her band, boygenius, which consisted of her and her two best friends, Lucy Dacus and Phoebe Bridgers. Lucy and Phoebe had quickly become some of my best friends as well, but not like how Julien was with them. Their bond was something I could never understand, yet as long as Julien was happy, I was okay with that.

I danced along to the set, swaying with the crowd for the slower songs. When the boys started "Ketchum, ID" a security guard came to bring me backstage. The plan was for me to wait right behind the stage so me and Julien could reunite as soon as possible.

I was a bit sad to miss the last two songs, but behind the stage I could hear clearly. It was loud enough that the lyrics were decipherable, however not so loud that I winced at the noise.

By the "Salt In The Wound" shenanigans, I felt impatient, and excited, and nervous, and every other emotion under the sun. Instead of normally leaving the stage, I heard Phoebe start to talk.

"We just want to thank everyone for coming to all these shows, selling out extreme venues that me and the boys used to dream of," She said. "You all mean so much to us, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!"

The crowd went wild, then quieted down for Lucy to say some stuff. Cheering, then Julien spoke.

"Yada, yada, yada," She said, and I could hear the smile in her voice. "Y'all are awesome, and not just everyone here tonight. Everyone who comes to watch us, listens to our songs, goes out to buy the albums, etcetera. We love you all, NOW I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND TO SEE."

The crowd was losing their minds, but I wasn't thinking about that. Julien ran through the same place they entered, and scanned the area. There were a bunch of people around, already starting to clean up, yet somehow she spotted me. She charged right at me, a giant grin on her face. I opened my arms for her, and the second we touched she held me tight and spun me around. I was laughing, a strange mix of giggles and cries coming from my mouth.

When she put me down, her hands moved from my waist to cup my face in her hands. She stared into my eyes, her goofy grin never faltering. "Hi, Abby."

"Hi, J." I whispered.

We held the eye contact for a second before I kissed her, hard, and she kissed me back, even harder. I held onto her tightly, my hands scrunching up the fabric of her suit. She held me with as much passion, though her hands roamed my arms, then my back, and finally my face.

"They need to get a room."

"This is worse than I thought it would be."

We, reluctantly, pulled apart to see Phoebe and Lucy, Phoebe with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot, and Lucy with her hands covering her eyes. I laughed, and Julien released me so I could greet them.

Phoebe hugged me first, given that Lucy was further behind her. She whispered, "Thank god you've reunited. We thought JB wasn't gonna live to see the day."

I smacked her shoulder playfully, then bounced up to Lucy. She was much taller than me, so I just wrapped my arms around her waist. She let out a little gasp, then removed her hands from her face to hug me. She kissed the top of my head, then we let go of each other.

Lucy was almost like a mother to me. Not in a weird way, just in the way that she watched over me and helped me sort tough things out. In my phone her contact name was "Mother Dacus", jokingly, of course. After all, our age gap was only a few years.

Phoebe was like an older brother, in the best way possible. She always gave me a ride when Julien couldn't, and attempted to give me life advice. Most of the time it was just funny things, but sometimes it was actually pretty meaningful. She was a little overprotective at times, however only when it was necessary.

They were truly some of the best friends I had ever had.

I had never been particularly close to my family. I was the oldest, and most of the time I was quite neglected. My parents really only noticed this before I moved, when one night I needed help packing up and they said they were busy, even though they weren't. I kind of lost my shit on them. I've spoken to them since, but it hasn't been the same.

Who I had been close to, though, was my grandmother. She always had me over for sleepovers when I was a kid, and all throughout my teenage years. She passed a few months before I met Julien. She had gotten Covid when it was really bad, and that was it. Visitations were barely allowed, but when I did get to see her, she put on this happy face for me, even though I knew she was in pain. The last time I saw her, I think she knew she was going to die soon. She hugged me so much, and kissed my forehead a million times. She died the next day.

When me and Julien met, I was in a really bad place. Whenever I saw Julien, though, it was like I could finally breathe. After a few months, she asked me to be her girlfriend, and it's been like that ever since.

"The clothes came in handy, huh?" Julien asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes," I smiled. "They're very comfortable."

After I had dropped them all off at the airport a month ago, there was an array of clothing left on the bed. It was all boygenius merch, plus an "I Know the End" t-shirt from Phoebe. The boygenius ones were the demon hoodie, the monster truck tee, which was my favorite, and the three candles tank top.

That night I was wearing the demon hoodie, but the candle tank top was underneath, with jeans and black converse. Over the years I had grown a collection of converse, some platform, some not.

"We gotta go change," Lucy said. "Stay right here, we'll be back soon!"

Julien kissed me again, then Phoebe ruffled my hair as they went by. I rolled my eyes. I was so happy they were home.

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I'm literally so happy to have this out. I've been working on it for a while. I hope you enjoy!