Watch Me Drown

45. Fight

Big trigger warning for needles, blood, mentions of self harm

(Abby's point of view)

My doctor was relentless. She was constantly talking about tests that might tell us, and using huge words that I barely understood. It took a few days, but she did have a breakthrough. It was like every other day we'd spent in the hospital. We watched TV, or talked, or slept. Lucy and Phoebe had stopped by just the day before, with clothes and necessities for us, on their way to the airport. They were heading back to California. Secretly, I was jealous. I wanted to be home, with my dog and my bed. There wasn't much keeping us at the hospital. My hypothermia was gone, and I wasn't having that much trouble breathing. However, whatever had been making me sick the past few months had gotten bad. I only ever got up to use the bathroom or sit in one of the chairs in my room. Even that was difficult. Dry shampoo was my best friend.

"Alright," Dr. Monroe said as she entered the room. I had very little privacy in the hospital. "We're going to have a meeting."

Me and Julien nodded a little, sleep deprived and confused.

"And you're going to walk there." Dr. Monroe pointed at me.

That caught our attention.

"I don't know if I can do that." I said quietly. I felt so defeated.

"She's not strong enough." Julien protested.

"The conference room is just right down the hall." Dr. Monroe told us, then sat on the edge of my bed, turned towards me. "I know you have it in you. We'll be with you the whole time, and we'll bring a wheelchair with us so you can use that if you get tired."

I nodded slowly, accepting the plan. She had a weird way of making me feel like a confident little kid. Mommy issues.

"Are you sure about this?" Julien said. She was kind of talking to both of us.

"It will be hard," Dr. Monroe admitted. "But she can stop whenever she needs to. It will be good for her to get up and moving."

She sighed. So protective. "Alright. As long as she wants to."

"You worry too much." I told her.

"Look who's talking." She smirked.

Dr. Monroe laughed lightly at our banter, then patted my leg and got up. "I'll be back soon."

Julien turned to me the second she was gone.

"Leg touching?!" She exclaimed.

This was her new thing to get me to laugh. My "relationship" with the doctor that was basically saving my life.

"Steamy." Julien said.

"Shut up!" I hissed with a smile.

She grinned, but it faded quickly. "You're really sure about this?"

"You're more worried than I am." I said.

The anxiety didn't leave her expression. "Abby..."

"Julien!" I exclaimed. "Come on! I can do this! Stop-"

"I'm the one who has to help when you pass out."

My mouth snapped shut, my sentence forgotten. I was surprised at her tone. Her frustrated voice shook a little through her gritted teeth. I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

"I don't care about helping you." She went on. "Obviously, I'll do it, because you're you, and I love you." 

"I-" I began to say.

"But it's hard." She said, avoiding eye contact. She stared at her shoes. "I have to catch you, and then I have to watch you laying there, completely unresponsive. Your eyes roll back a little, you know. And your breathing gets all messed up, then your heart is doing fucking backflips. Remember that time you stopped breathing? Yeah, that sure was fun!"