OKAY, !!!WARNING!!!! These vents are the silly goofy stuff I usually do all the time. Please don't read this if you don't wanna be depressed or something, these can be mood killers if you're here for the memes.
If you do wanna stick around, then enjoy my suffering I guess...
My uncle flew in recently to help out with my grandma and my mom decided that I would go shopping for school uniforms with my uncle today since I go to a catholic school .That doesn't seem that bad but it kinda is.
My mom is having a lot medical problems and she's on medicine with really really intense side affects. Nausea, fatigue, and a low immune system. She couldn't even drive for MONTHS after her surgery. It's really hard for me to see her like that.
My uncle is actually pretty chill though and it was nice to spend time with him. He's nicer than my other uncles. I just had this weird feeling of dread the whole time I was with him, it just felt so abnormal.
It's weird that I can't go anywhere with my mom anymore or we can't do anything. My friend's mom has to drive me to school and other places now since I can't drive which makes me feel bad. She even made a food drive thingy for my mom, where she and the other parents in my class deliver us dinner every one and awhile.
Im still not really sure why she did that though, we're okay with money and I feel even more now that they're doing so much for us.
And it's a bit awkward when someone who traumatized me has their own mom deliver gourmet soup and a whole letter saying they were praying for us every day but at the same time they're bragging about how they added these rare and expensive ingredients to the soup (that tasted like crap) and that we BETTER ENJOY IT in a totally, absolutely not passive aggressive way.
Look, I know my mom will be better by thanksgiving but the damage is already done. I really thought I would do fun stuff with her this summer. She told me she's able to drive now! Maybe we'll be able to go to out breakfast again! Or to some park? What about the movies?
Nope. I'm still stuck here. The only way to talk to ANYONE is online. My irl friends, friends that were already online, or basically anyone who isn't my mom or grandma. I do go to my friend's houses from time to time but it's very uncommon.
And my mom for some reason blames me for staying in my room most of the day. Most of the time she's chill but sometimes she acts like she hates me and always says "OH, YOU nEvEr TALK TO ME NOW! YOU'RE ALWAYS ON YOUR PHONE AND ALWAYS STAY IN MY ROOM ALL DAY!"
I literally talk to her and my grandma everyday. My house is small so there isn't much to do. And the only way I can talk to literally anyone else is online.
She even thinks I stopped reading and I'm dumb or something, even though I'm literally burnt out from this stupid Reading Olympics thing AND I mostly read fanfic instead (which she doesn't know about.) It's exhausting that she can be so negative and sensitive sometimes. "Oh wait, I looked at her the wrong way, gUeSs I hAtE hEr NoW."
I really, really don't. I'm just tired. I know that's her PTSD from my bastard of a father but still, it's tiring when I try to help but she ignores it and takes it the wrong way. I miss her. I hope she gets better soon.
