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(Chizuru)
"Y-your fault?"
My mind races, 'poor Mai....if Sanan is unable to wield a sword from now on...she'll feel responsible and guilty...' I frown at the statement and lean forward hugging her.
"Don't punish yourself. I'm sure Sanan did whatever needed to be done...possibly getting himself hurt to protect you." I say trying to understand her story and pain, my heart wrenching as I view her glossy eyes.
"No...I...it's all my fault."
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(Mai)
I confess to Chizuru, an uplifting feeling fills my body as I hold onto her. My arms tightening around her as she holds me, my body trembling in the process.
"I s-shouldn't be here...I ruined his chances..what if he can't wield a sword anymore...he'll be ruined...I would have ruined him." I confess, my thoughts spewing out like a waterfall, as if my mind was uncapped.
"I'm scared Chizuru...I don't want to have failed him...I don't to have failed the shinsengumi...failure haunts me. I've always been taught to be perfect, failure is not an option...what if I failed him Chizuru..." My thoughts spew out like a faucet. She just holds me tighter, her arms squeezing me.
"It's okay to fail. Mistakes are just proof that your trying..." Chizuru whispers, her hold tightening once more. Her arms rubbing my back to console me, I sniffle and lean back. She lets go and observes my expression.
"I'm trying...I am...after seeing Sanan get struck down I immediately ran towards him, ignoring the ronin that surrounded me. It was as if he was the only thing that mattered at that moment. I immediately performed surgery back at the shop. Relentlessly trying to suture his torn shoulder back together...." I blink out of reality as I relive the past. My heart jumbling all sorts of ways.
"You did all that you could...no you did even more." Chizuru says as I blink back into reality, squinting at her comment.
"With your emergency treatment, I'm sure he'll be okay!" She optimistically says smiling at me foolishly.
"I didn't know you were so talented Mai, I'm so envious you know. Your beautiful, strong, smart, it's almost as if you know everything...." Chizuru says as she sheepishly compliments me with a smile.
"I'm not. I'm weak. I get caught and pulled into things that I could so easily escape from but I stay. My emotions run so rapidly that it threatens my resolve. Failure scares me, it tortures me and eats me alive. I'm no one special, I'm normal. So don't say those things...I'm truly no one." I confess looking down at my lap frowning.
"That isn't true. I admire and respect you in many ways to count. Everyone has emotions and they can't be easily controlled as one may think so don't eat yourself up about it. The thought of my father not coming home drove me to become reckless and end up here, so you aren't alone..."She says and I just grudgingly look at her.
"...your right. I'm sorry for being a nuisance." I say quietly looking down at my lap. She ruffles my hair, combing it through her fingers.
YOU ARE READING
My charm? (Hakouoki Fanfic)
Romance"Are you going to keep goggling at me being tied up or are you going to untie me? Or are you trying to feast your eyes to save it for later." "Oh- I didn't know you had a mouth sweetheart. I can change that." Mairin got herself into a mess with th...
