AFTER YOU | ENHYPEN (히승/ HEESEUNG)

3: endless pain

TWO WEEKS LATER~

Everything start to go back to normal like usual. I am busy these past few days, and today is my day off. I decide to stay in my room all day, cuz inside me I feel nothing but emptiness.

The urge to feel loved by someone is eating me up, the urge to have someone by my side is killing me.

"Haneul-aa,can you buy me a flour? I want to make something but we ran out of flour.. can you make some quick errands for me" she ask as she had out the money to me, I look at the money and turn my gaze to her back. I grab my sweater and walk out the room without taking the money she gives to me.

While walking down the street I bumped onto someone and got a scratch on my palm. I hissed in pain and look up to the person, and it was heeseung. He look at me expressionless and rolled his eyes, "you okay?" he ask not meeting my eyes.

I click my tongue and get up on my own, "why bother to ask if you're not gonna help" I utter under my breath.

"Are you going somewhere?" I ask , looking at his appearance he's wearing coat and look extra neat today. As always he never disappointed with his own style. He sigh and put his hand in his pocket, "why bother to ask when you say we better off as stranger anyway?" He say.

All I do is sigh and was about to walk away from him but he hold my wrists. I rise on of my eyebrows and look at him, "what are you doing!" I say and tried to get out from his grip my he's holding more tighter. "let me treat you a dinner.." he say while his other hands caressing the back of his neck. "And why?" I rolled my eyes.

"Because I want to, and I need something to tell you.. since you're here" he say and now in more calmer tone.

I found myself in the cafe sitting in front of him as he go to buy a drink for both of us. He comeback with coffee on his hands and place it on the table, taking his seat.

"Make it quick, I need to do something after this." I say and take a sip of my coffe. He stare at me quite long before sighing deeply, "come and work in my company, I heard you were apply for head manager there?" I look devastated when he brings the topic up.

But then I remain calm and shook my head, "I'm not interested anymore, looking how your "secretary" treat me already gives point that I'm gonna get treated bad when I'm working there. Plus working on the same roof as you making me uncomfortable. You should know that" I say.

"And plus I already have permanent work and I don't have to work as part timer anymore. Thanks for the offer " I say, maybe sound a little annoying. It's my first time having a permanent job and I want to brag about it.

Silent eating up the space but the I decided to speak up, "why'd you want me to work at your company? I thought you wish we never met?" I chuckled heavily and sigh , fidgeting my fingers under the table.

"Because I want to see you everyday"

I glued my eyes with him as I find it clueless and ridiculous at the same time. He can't feel the same anymore, neither of us can't be happy if one of us stuck with each other. "what are you staying?" I say in furious way.

"I want to see you and watch you grow in front of my eye. I waste many years just letting you go without running after you haneul, I can't let this chance go easily. I want to be there for you-" before he can go any further I cut him off.

"I don't care heeseung, I am a grown up woman. I'm 23 years old, I can take care of myself. And I'm not a kid, we're not like that anymore heeseung. I beg you to forget everything about us. There's no us anymore in the present, we're just a stranger with memories. Please. I don't want to suffer anymore." I say all in one breath.

"How about me ? You want me to forget easily? It's hard aeri, and now I want to start again with you. can't you just give up on everything and let's start again. I've done enough waiting for you, please" he put his hands together on the table and look at me with his doe eye.

My eyes is welling up in tears as I bit my lip, trying really my best this time go hold it back but I can't. I sigh and close my eyes as my tears running down my face, "just this time, I don't want you to feel hurt anymore. Also..I don't want to think about your family too..if I start to love you again, then I'mma need to think about the situation your family put me to.

And the most things is, I don't want to think and I don't even want to meet your mother. And heeseung please stop waiting for "us" anymore, we're not meant to be." I said and stand up before walking out from the cafe.

I hid myself at the quite alley in between the store and cried myself out. I put my hands over my mouth while my tears running down my face uncontrollably. No matter how much I tired to forget about the feeling, it will never get away.

This is so fvking hurt..

I sobbed myself and wipe my tears, picking up myself back to pieces. But piece of myself never complete, cuz that one more piece of me is still with him. And I can't bring myself to take it back from him.

I freshen myself up and walk out from the alley as if nothing happens and go to near store to buy the things my grandma told me to.

"this is gotta be a bad day to me." I sigh , dusting off the cake that some random uncle trip onto me as the cake landed on me. I bump on someone on the way back and then I curse to myself again, I swear this is a bad day for me. I look up to the person and was greet by arrogant Sunoo.

"you?! Again? Are you following me!" He scold while on the other hands of him is holding a wet tissue, I grab it from him and took a few of them and cleaned myself. He look shock and start to brag about the things in the past that happened between me and him before.

"You say we will meet again? I don't know this if this the way we will always meet" i chuckled, he looks at me coldly before sighing deeply and cool himself down before start talking again. "I guess it's really a destiny? Do you like me by the way?" He spat, I was taken aback and then burst out to laugh.

I laugh myself out until I felt a tears in my eyes, "HAHAHAHAHHA what are you saying! you should take it that were gonna be a friend, aren't it too much to go until the point that I like you" I laugh while holding my tummy when it started to get hurt while laughing.

I come to my sense back when I realized that I'm the only one laughing. It's been so long since I feel like this.

"well, I need to go now. See you when I see you" I wave awkwardly at him, before walking passed him.

Soon after I comeback from doing errands for grandma, I lock myself up in the room and lay down on the bed watching outside the window.

Suddenly the memories of me laughing crossed my mind and without knowing a smile created on my face. It's amaze me, just amaze. I didn't laugh that hard before , but it feels different. I feel some sort of feeling that I never ever been feeling before.

I miss the old me, I miss the happy me. I miss myself when I didn't get betrayed by the world, I missed that time the most.