31: disappointment

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Haneul pov ~

My attention fully landed on the woman at the door, seeing Seoyun face that shows how mad she is when she saw what just happened.

"You're such a disappointment.." I breathe out, in disbelief of what he just did to me just now. Leaving him with Seoyun.

"Haneul!"

I stopped in my track when I heard my name, I turns and sees ni-ki looking at him with worries. I broke into tears when I saw him, couldn't stop my tears falling. Ni-ki walked up to me, sighing as he knew what happened when he saw me run out from there.

I felt his arm wrapped around me, bring me close to his embrace and caressed the back of my hair softly. Making me feel bit better than before.

"I told you to wait for me.. look what happened now.." he whispered, sighing deeply.

"He can't just come and go whenever he wants, he can't step into my life however he wants. He can't ruin myself like how he used to in the past. And I'm such a fool to let him do his way.." I sobb on his chest, my tears wetting his coat. He continued to calm myself.

I pulled away and looked up to him with teary eyes, like a little kid that lost her mom.

"I don't know why my hearts always beat fast when I'm near him..I wish for it to stop ni-ki.." I say, tears roll down my cheek.

I couldn't stop crying,

The scene and memories stab into my chest like a dagger.

I thought I was fine to see him again. I thought my love already gone for him. But the moment when I saw him at the jewelry store with his fiance, my hearts breaks into million piece. I was about to willingly to accept the facts that there's no more about me and him, but when he bring up the past just now it makes me think twice.

And I'm afraid if that will give me hope, and a hope that will never be true.

I shouldn't feel this kind of feeling anymore.

Ni-ki nods, looked at me with reassuring eyes while he continues to caressed my hair softly. "shh shh, it's alright..I'm here, don't cry" his voice like lullaby to me, it's sometimes give me peace and calm. And for a moment I was confused with myself. It doesn't feel right at all.

But I let him to,

I never been this confused in my life, and that was hell confusing to think about my problem and people around me.

I grip onto his waist tighter, crying on his embrace to make myself feel good. Like what jay used to say to me.

"no holding back, just let it out..it gonna make you feel better".

The first thing I felt when I wake up just empty, my head hurts too. Some things just happened at one time and without realizing I couldn't take it all. I know my weakness, yet I still ignored it.

I went to the bathroom to freshen up myself, packed my bags and get ready to discharge. Want to avoid from meeting heeseung and Seoyun, I didn't recover yet from last night accident. It feels surreal, and at the same time it's hurt. He's drunk and I get my hopes too high.

Once I'm done wearing my ear rings, I looked at my reflection on the mirror. A sigh leaving my lips, I remembered it clearly the way his lips touched mine. I was never ready for something like that, I never imagined that's how it's gonna be our interactions after three years away. I don't understand him.

I comeback to my sense when my phone rang, seeing ni-ki's number poo out on my screen. I sigh and answered the call.

"morning ! Have you eaten?"

"No, my head hurts. I already done packing, mind to come here and help me? let's breakfast outside..I'm uncomfortable to be in the same building as him" I sighs, explaining my current state. It does feel uncomfortable to be near him, I want to avoid as much as I can from him. I want to forget him. I want to forget everything about me and him.

That's all.

"sure I be there in five minutes"

I hummed in response before end the call. He came while later, helped me with my stuff and bags. Thank God that he also get the car ready. The first thing I does when I get into the car, I decided to dial Sunoo number.

"Haneul, what's up without morning call? Are you okay?" I bit my lips hesitantly, I wished he was there with that time.

"I..do you want to go to breakfast with me? ni-ki will be there too.." I answered, forcing myself to be okay. Though I'm not.

There was a short silence after, I was about to end the call when I thought he's busy and probably spending his time with his girlfriend.

"it's fine if you can't..I just go with ni-"

"Sent me the location, I'll meet you there. You owe me an explanation haneul"

I'm inside the dining room, the meal already served, ni-ki was sitting beside me. Scrolling on his phone, his gaze then averted to me when I make sound with my throat. He placed down his phone and looked at me.

"you okay haneul?" He asked, worries are all over his face.

"good?"

His eyebrows drop to flat, sighing deeply while he keep staring at me. I was hesitate to speak at first, it feels like something was holding me back.

I lowered my head , fiddling with my finger. I watch when he slowly hold my hands, caressing it softly as he gives me reassuring look. "It's be fine, trust me.." he smiles softly.

"I'm here" I averted my gaze to the door, seeing sunoo walked in and take a sit beside me.

"What happened? I heard that heeseung was there too last night? Something happened right between you and him?"
He asked, worries wash over his face.

I take a deep breath and tell him the whole things that happened last night. I'm glad that Sunoo will always be there whenever I needed him, I'm comfortable to rant and tell him everything go through. He's my person. I'm glad God sent me someone that I can rely on without hesitating.

"Do you want me to talk with him, I bet he's also not in his right mind.. I'm sure of it, you said he's drunk..then it can be that he's just delusional and see his fiance face through you," Sunoo exclaim, patting my back softly.

"I don't know.."

"Maybe I shouldn't come to him in the first place..I'm such a fool"

I sighed.

Sunoo shook his head and wrap his arm around my shoulder, doesn't want me to stressed over little things.

"I'm here, it's fine. Just focus on moving on, you can do it"

Ni-ki agreed, gives some support as he also patt my head. Reassuring me lightly.

I looked at him with pout and asked.
"Does Soomin know that you're meeting me? I don't her to get wrong idea.."

He shook his head and purse his lips, calmly he nodded.
"Nothing to worry, Soomin understand what's going on. The purest angel knows my place beside you" Sunoo explain, dramatically compliment his girlfriend.

I burst into laugh, feel more better than before.

__________.
Short chap, sorry .
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