Garroth remained true to his word. My vanity was filled with flowers as time continued to pass. They came as often as his letters were plentiful.
Then came time for when I left home for good. Father and Laurance bid their goodbyes with kisses on my cheeks and talks of seeing one another soon. It was bittersweet for I would miss the place I once called home, but I wasn't heading towards a place blindly. I at least knew people in O'Khasis, and my father insists this was the right decision.
He has never steered me wrong before, so I listened to his orders wholeheartedly.
"I'm thinking lily of the valley."
"Lily of the valley?"
Zianna looks up at me from her paper. She's been jotting down ideas left and right. I can't seem to keep up with her. We're planning the engagement ball decorations, as the invitations have already been sent out, and she's keeping other ideas in mind for the wedding.
"They grow all around O'Khasis, and I simply adore them. They're so delicate and regal," she says. Her pen scratches quickly on the paper. "We can pair them with myrtle. Perhaps roses. . . Or orchids. Greenery may be a nice touch."
"Mother, you'll scare her away," Kandi says.
I look towards her, nearly forgetting that she's sitting at this table. She looks annoyed with her mother. I suppose this is a frequent occasion.
"Nonsense! Planning events such as this is important. She'll be doing this as queen one day."
The word continues to visibly make me stiffen. It was so uncommon to hear it in Meteli unless we were speaking about a foreign queen. Meteli hasn't had one in such a long time that it hardly comes across any conversation. Only now is it becoming popular again with the notion of Laurance soon finding a wife.
"I feel a bit faint," I admit, standing from my chair and reaching a hand onto the table top for support. "I'm going to retire for now if you don't mind."
Zianna begins to stand, worry overtaking her features. "Are you ill? Do you need assistance?"
I shake my head. "I just need to lay down for a little while. I'll be alright."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Resting didn't last long. I tossed and turned around in my bed. I've become stressed with events that are far in the future, and I'm failing to cope with it.
Hours went by, and dark overturned the sky. The sounds of footsteps outside my door died down until they no longer existed. I'm unsure what time I gave into the fact that I wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon. All I know is that I gave up and wrapped a blanket around myself and went outside.
I've not gotten a full night's worth of rest ever since I got here. My bed is comfortable, but I continue to find myself unable to fall asleep. Then when I do, I constantly wake up.
There's no point staying in bed if I can't fall asleep.
"You're still up?"
A sudden voice causes me to turn to face its owner. I come to the conclusion it's Garroth, but that doesn't bring an immense amount of relief.
"Did I wake you? I tried to be quiet."
He shakes his head and walks over in my direction. He rests his arms on the fence before us, staring off into the distance. I pull the blanket closer to my body, shielding off the cold.
"No, I was already up," he says. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately. There's so much to think about and plan for the future. I've retorted to having a pad of paper and a pen stashed under my mattress to scratch down all my thoughts. How is your planning?"
"Your mother wishes for lily of the valley. Everything is planned under O'Khasisian taste. She speaks of silk and charmeuse. I don't even know the difference between the two," I say, exasperated. "All I can do is smile and nod my head to every word she says. How can I be your wife if I cannot plan this on my own?"
"I believe you're stretching yourself thin," Garroth comments. I don't dare tell him I believe he's doing the same, but it'll do no good. The look on his face alerts me he wouldn't listen to any concern regarding himself. "My mother knows what she's doing. She simply wishes for you to feel a part of the process. You may reject her ideas. Otherwise than this, how are you adjusting?"
"Do you want honesty?"
Neither one of us speaks. I close my eyes with a sigh, lingering this way for a little while. I'm becoming aware of the world around me. Crickets chirp. Branches sway. The breeze is cool. I can feel it flicking through my hair. It brings along the smell of flowers with it.
"The nights are the hardest. I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. I fear I'm having a hard time adjusting."
"I feared you'd say that. I'm sorry I haven't been much of a help. My father has me by the hair. 'Sign this. Sign that. Overlook this. Overlook that.' He's driven me mad."
I reach for him, feeling my blanket slip down my arm. His hand is surprisingly warm despite the cool air. "Are you. . . scared?"
"In all honesty, I'm nervous for the future."
"You make me feel silly. I'm frightened."
