"Edith, you may take a break. I'd like some alone time with my daughter."
Only three things have been occupying my time: my daughter, my husband, and my duties. Easy enough, these are my three roles: mother, wife, and queen. Finding a new balance when Elizabeth was born was challenging, but Edith has done a wonderful job of governess of keeping Garroth and I aware of what is happening.
Edith looks up from her book and nods her head, quickly leaving the room. I peek over the edge of the crib to find Elizabeth to be fast asleep. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips at the sight.
I'm not sure how long I watch her for, but Garroth interrupts the moment. His voice is low and quiet, and the door is nearly silent as it moves. It's rather dark in the room, but not dark enough to be night.
"Is she asleep?"
I can't bring myself to touch her. I'm afraid that the smallest stroke will cause her to wake up. I'm not sure what to do if that were to happen.
"Yes," I say, refusing to break the gaze upon my child. There is nothing more irreplaceable than how I feel for Elizabeth. I carried her for nine months. I created life. There's an indescribable bond that draws me towards her. "She's so peaceful when she sleeps. I prefer this over when she's crying."
"So do I." His voice becomes clearer to me as he inches forward. My hands are firmly placed against the crib while he wraps one arm around my waist. "I was thinking. How would you feel regarding another child?"
I let go of the crib and toy around with my rings. I stare down at Elizabeth's small figure but feel my lips purse together in a thin line. "Elizabeth is only a month old. I'd want to wait until at least a year before trying for another child."
This isn't the answer Garroth wants, but it's the answer he receives. While I do not care for Elizabeth all the time, I don't believe I could handle two children only a year apart. Pregnancy was rough, and I don't wish to go through it again so soon. I understand where Garroth is coming from, and I understand that we should try for a boy, but I cannot do it right now.
"I understand."
The two of us stop talking before I hear stirring from below me. My eyes widen when I realize Elizabeth is waking up, and I smile until she begins to cry.
"I-I don't know what to do," I stutter, fearing for the wailing baby in front of me. I look for Edith, but the memory that I sent her away quickly dismisses my actions. In a panic, I lift her out of the crib and into my arms.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Five months have passed since then. Edith heard the cries and quickly came into the nursery to aid. I felt like a terrible mother at that moment. I never paid much attention before to how Edith calmed Elizabeth down before then. I made it my mission from then on to be the best mother I can be, but also being a queen has threatened this. I fear I am failing.
I see Garroth walking towards the nursery. I haven't gone in yet today, but I planned on doing so soon. Elizabeth is getting so big, and she's catching onto things rather quickly.
"Ah, here you are. I figured you were by the nursery."
I smile at this. "I'm not always in the nursery. I carry on with my duties too."
Garroth goes to speak again, perhaps to counteract what I've stated, but he is unable to. The nursery doors open, and Edith quickly rushes out. She sees the two of us and beelines our way.
"Your Majesties," she starts, looking for a breath. I wasn't aware rushing from the nursery to here took your breath away from you. "Y-You must see this. It's Her Highness!"
My stomach drops. "Elizabeth? What's wrong with her?"
I reach for Garroth's hand and hold onto it tightly. He follows after Edith and stops after entering through the doors. I have to maneuver around her to see what is happening.
"She just started to crawl a few minutes ago," Edith says, turning towards my crawling child. "I wanted you to see it."
Garroth walks towards Elizabeth and sits down to her level. He doesn't interact at first, but he coos to her to come crawl to him. She obliges and makes her way to him slowly.
It happened within the blink of an eye.
