"I'm so happy you were able to have tea with me."
When I woke up this morning, there was an invitation for afternoon tea set on my vanity. Zianna must've woken up early and had it delivered. I must have been fast asleep as I didn't hear the door opening and closing.
As of yesterday, I am now eighteen. I do not feel a difference between two days ago and yesterday, but I am far more tired. Perhaps that is because another ball had been set yesterday, not as grand as the engagement ball, but it went into the early morning hours. I'm surprised Zianna woke up as early as she had. It was a late morning for everyone else.
"I always attend tea with you," I say, sitting down on a dainty table. It doesn't take me long to notice there's only two chairs set up. It's a rather small gathering. "Is no one else attending?"
Zianna's smile becomes knowing, and she motions for a servant to begin pouring tea. She's quick to make it to her liking. She shared months ago she's made it the same way ever since she was my age.
"As observant as ever," she chuckles. Zianna brings the teacup to her lips, hugging the rim to her lip. "I wanted it to be private today. I thought it was time to have the talk."
"The talk?"
"The talk," she repeats. Zianna's words are hushed, secretive. She leans forward across the table, moving the tea out of her way. "I'm assuming you are unaware of it. I haven't had to have the talk with Kandilyn yet."
"Please stop referring to it as the talk."
In three weeks, Garroth and I are going to be married. After that, the only large celebration O'Khasis has to worry about is the coronation. Thankfully, there's time in-between the two events for Garroth to breathe.
I've been engaged for almost a year. I won't be engaged for a full year before Garroth and I marry. I can already sense transitions within the corridors for upcoming events. I am unaware of how I feel about the matter.
"I'm sure you have questions. It's something most women are unaware of until it happens," Zianna tells me. She's less secretive about the matter now. Instead, Zianna appears confident in her manner of speaking. "It may be daunting, but it'll be alright."
I stop stirring my tea with my spoon. Instead of removing it from my cup, I keep it sitting inside. "If you are trying to speak to me about changes in my body, I'm afraid you are a few years late. I had this conversation with my governess after Laurance found me crying and panicky told her I believed I was dying of blood loss. She assured me I was a woman while I bathed."
I was in bliss unawareness of just how my body was going to change. Cadenza is four years older, and she was already out in society by the time I had gone through my first cycle. She was secretive about it all. I was aware that certain areas of my body would change and develop into something new as it was visible on my sister. I wasn't aware that there was far more development to be done.
I cried when it first happened. Laurance found me, and I cried to him that I thought I was going to die from losing too much blood. Unaware of what I meant, he went to seek help. He found our governess first, and he was sent out of the room with assurance that I would be alright. She explained it all to me and admitted that I was now a woman. I cried more at the idea of being a woman.
Zianna stares at me for a moment. She has a blank stare on her face, but it quickly dismisses into a smile. "Oh, goodness, not that change. Though, my Kandilyn had a similar experience. I'm speaking about creating an heir."
"I've been waiting for someone to remind me about it today. I should keep a journal of how often it is mentioned."
Zianna doesn't find my jests to be amusing as she sighs. "Are you aware of what happens on your wedding night?"
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
I was pale when tea finished. Mine had gone cold after one sip. I've never thought of intimacy with a man. . . especially with Garroth. As if sex wasn't enough, she moved onto the idea of pregnancy and childbirth.
"Alex, are you alright?" I look up to see Garroth. I've been walking in a daze that I didn't notice he was there. "Are you warm? Your cheeks are rosy, and you look flushed."
I lift a hand to my cheek, feeling heat radiate onto my skin. A sense of awkwardness takes over me as I look up at Garroth. He wasn't the person I wished to see after that conversation.
"I was going to my room. I don't feel well, so I'm going to rest," I say. I don't feel ill, but I don't feel well.
"Oh no. Do you need a doctor? Do you want me to walk you there?"
"No!" I exclaim, but it's too loud. Garroth is visibly startled by my reaction. I startled myself. "No, no. I'll be alright. Thank you, though."
"I'll check on you later," he says, leaning forward and kissing the top of my head. "Get some rest."
