They dressed me up. Every plan was followed. My dress is mainly tulle, and it compliments my figure without appearing too provocative. A string of pearls strategically resting on my waist to create this effect. My sleeves are quite useless as there's only a small bit of tulle cascaded under my shoulders. Around my neck is a short set of pearls, and pearl drop earrings hang from my ears. My tiara consists of both diamonds and pearls. Soft curls frame my face while the remainder of my hair is pulled back into an elegant chignon.
I've watched endless people ride in the same direction. On the same road. To the same place. I've stood here for minutes on end, feeling like the world is caving in around me. They can smile and laugh. I've started to panic and prevent myself from crying.
I've run out of smiles already.
Zianna left the room for the last time, leaving me by myself once more. Most people have already left towards the church. I'm left alone in this room. This room is driving me mad, and I can't find the will to let go of the window.
It was fun at first. Like playing dress up in a new gown. I was giddy for a little while. I woke up with a quickened pulse from the sudden happiness of marriage and what it could offer. Then that happiness was engulfed by fear.
"They're ready to take–What are you doing?"
My hand travels on the window, fingertips grazing the glass. A hand reaches for my wrist and causes me to stop.
"They'll have to reclean that window now. Are you out of your mind?"
"Take it back," I say, refusing to look Kandi in the eye. I'm surprised she's still here. I thought she would've left already. I repeat myself, voice just barely above a whisper. "Take it all back."
I'm forced to look at Kandi. Her hair is pinned up, and she's wearing borrowed jewels. As am I. It's tradition for a new bride to wear the crown jewels on their wedding day.
"You certainly are out of your mind. You were fine an hour ago," she says. "What happened?"
I shake my head, taking a step back from her. I grasp onto loads of tulle in order to prevent myself from tripping, but it only deepens my hysteria.
"I can't do this. I wasn't meant to be the wife of a future king."
Kandi steps toward me, but I step away. She stops moving when the cycle continues. My hands begin to travel to different parts of my body as I name something that is burying me. "Take it back. This dress. These. . . pearls. This–This crown. I can't. . . do it!"
I cover my face with my hands, letting them travel hastily to my head. Kandi is quick to take my hands away from my hair and lead me to a chair. She tells me to breathe, but I'm suffocating.
She sighs, leaning down to meet my eye level. Kandi attempts to fix the curls I've messed with, twisting them back into shape. "While my father is a difficult man to understand, he does not do things without reason. He wouldn't have married you to the heir of O'Khasis if there wasn't a reason. It's unknown to us all, but it's known to him."
Kandi stands to her feet and has me follow after her. She fixes the mess of myself that I've created and tweaks her appearance in the process.
"Besides, my brother clearly cares about you. And I know you care about him too. If you like it or not, you're going to rule alongside him one day, but we won't get to that point if we don't head to the church."
I slowly nod my head. I force myself to look into the mirror one last time, running my sweaty hands along my skirt. This, in the process, smooths it out. There's a hanging bouquet placed in my hand and a veil on my head. I look at Kandi with an apprehensive expression.
"It's just so stressful. Your mother. . . she explained to me how to conceive a child, and it's frightening. I just. . . I don't want to let Garroth down if I fail to produce an heir."
"My brother isn't my father, Alex. I highly doubt he'll cast all his anger on you because you failed to bear him a son. I believe he'd be happy with a daughter. Besides, you two are not forced to have only one child. Have ten if it pleases you so." She's now slowly inching me closer to the doors, trying to get us out of here as quickly as possible. "Besides, the Ro'meave genes must be strong or something with the male sex. Look at this family."
