Find me (English)

Medications

Jessy's pov

He called me because he has to ask me something. But I know it can't be just that. The tone was too serious, even though he said on the phone not to worry me.

How can I not worry? My best friend, my person is gone, taken by who knows what horrible character, I don't want to think about what she's going through.

My brother is going crazy and got himself locked up in a cell but from a certain point of view I am calmer because then he can't do some crazy things. I am not able to keep him at bay, only she can do that and she is not there.

I feel so lonely without her. The last time we saw each other just me and she, and lectured me. She told me to stop thinking about Richy like that. By guilt she meant.

"Stop it once and for all! When are you going to decide to live too? He wouldn't have wanted that, he said that to you. And anyway I love your brother you know it well. So don't blame me, don't create alibis for yourself."

She was serious but did not say it maliciously.
I know she's right but I couldn't help at that moment feeling guilty about something. Even toward her. He was her great love of youth, I felt like I was stealing something from her even though she loved my brother.

Yes, to steal her memories, the past, whatever. But it's hard to fight feelings. Even now, I know that while she's holding my hands she's thinking about something bad and I just want to relieve it from this pain, I want to be strong and do what she would do in my place. What would she do in my place?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had brought only a bag of food, another sign that I would not need it. I didn't care, I was going to die anyway, it didn't matter if on an empty stomach or not.

I could see that he was wavering. She had to be hungry but she wouldn't make up his mind.

"Chris please eat, I'm not hungry, really."

How I wanted him to be saved from that hell, to grow up, to fall in love. Round and round I couldn't help but end up thinking about Phil and thinking about how much time I had lost before I realized I loved him. I had had to get to the point of actually losing him before I realized it.

I clutched myself in my own arms, remembering the warmth of his body against mine when he had pulled me to him completely soaked.

"No. I won't eat if you don't eat with me. Half a sandwich you and half me. Please." She was really stubborn, she resembled Phil, both of them with this fixation of worrying about me eating.

She divided it, and I thought how weak a person I really was. She was looking out for me. She had turned into the adult and it should not have been like that. She kept fixing my hair. She had wiped all the blood mixed with the dirt from the floor off my face as I stared into the void lost in my thoughts. I had noticed now that his shirt was really dirty. I hoped they would get there in time to save her at least. I would be eliminated but not her, she was needed alive. I accepted the bread she was handing me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Yes, I trust you Jake."
Thus replied a concerned Jessy to his request. Not with words. She had only nodded her head but that was what she meant.
"Can you trust me?" Again this funny request, as in the past. The absurdities of fate.

Jake took the letter from the drawer and showed it to her, shaking her hand even tighter. As expected her eyes filled with tears. Her lower lip trembled and she would have resumed wringing her hands if they were empty. But they weren't. So she clung to his, as Phil had clung to his. Phil...she had to tell him.

As if he had read her mind, he anticipated her.
"Jessy it's important that for now your brother doesn't know about this. It's not my decision. I want you to know about it. I will tell him myself but not now. Can you at least fulfill the request to look after the dog's medicine? She love him and have been concerned about him. "

"That's how she is, always worrying about everyone," and she burst into tears, certain that where her brother was, he would not hear her.

He pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. She let him and hid her face in his sweatshirt.
"Hailey I promise you, come back. If you come back, I live too." She thought about her friend, how much she missed her and how different the whole world was without her presence. She felt lost and alone. Because she was so strong and brave, she always had been. He smelled so good Jake.

Then she stopped. She pulled himself together and said that yes, she would. She owed it to her. She had to be as strong as she was. No more crying. She took the house keys out of the drawer. She knew that she always had a copy in the office. Because she was distracted and sometimes she would rush out, leaving them inside the house and being locked out until Phil returned too. So she had gotten into this habit.

She gave him a kiss on the forehead, moving his soft black hair.
"I'll go and come back," she told him. After that she disappeared silently through the same door she had entered.

Meanwhile, Alan was arguing animatedly with an adamant Amanda waving the fork with which he was trying to eat the contents of the plate in front of him and failing to swallow a single bite.

"It's not like if you kill those eggs you solve the situation," she told him. She wasn't teasing him, she wasn't attacking him. She was tired. No decision seemed like the right one. She wanted to find it, too, but she didn't want to give up that computer. Moreover, she was aware that to do so would mean condemning her to death if she was not found first. But so little time remained that she considered it an unlikely solution.

"Screw the eggs, I'm not hungry," he replied to her as he finally threw his fork on the plate, pushing it away from him. Little time remained, less than 24 hours, and they were still arguing about it.

As the fork landed on the plate and scattered bits of food beyond the plate, Jessy opened the front door and greeted Cerberus, trying not to cry again
"Come, Hailey wants me to give you the medicine," and went down to the basement.