Find me (English)

Adios!

"You have to leave now Hailey, I'm busy, come on." She laughed and ran her hand through her blond hair, taking off her cap, the one with the Roger's garage sign that she always used.

"No, we have to play again, you owe me a rematch Richy!"

"I said no. I don't have time up. We'll do it another time. Adios!" And he pushed me out by putting pressure on my back.

Because he was sending me away, ouch I was really enjoying myself.

                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up like this. With my friend sending me away. I must have slept a lot because I couldn't open my eyes. Who knows what time I had been sleeping.

I was touching something soft and didn't understand what it was. I couldn't breathe properly. Why couldn't I breathe? I was becoming agitated. I couldn't move and there was something preventing me from breathing. Then I smelled her perfume and calmed down. The happy things. The scent of my love. The softness of her hair. Maybe I was dead, I remembered now.

Yes, I must have been dead. There were strange sounds in that place of the dead. People talk about their loved ones coming to get you but no one came to me. Even Richy sent me away. No one really wants me. I'm tired I don't care. I don't feel pain anymore and I'm not cold. I'm just sorry I didn't come home. Forgive me Phil. I smell his scent, it seems so real and I smile.

I almost feel like I can touch him. Even though I won't see him again and I know now I'm crying instead but I can't wipe my tears away. But it's okay, I'm dead anyway, no one will see me. Richy though you could have kept me with you, I'm alone here. I'm better now, I can breathe. Maybe that's what happens when you die. I think I'll rest, I'm so tired....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phil, who had never left the small chair next to her and was resting with his head on the bed, holding her hand over his own hair in a kind of self-consolation, woke up like this, with her flailing and trying to remove the mechanical ventilation tube that helped her breathe, without ever regaining consciousness.

He rang the bell worriedly, not understanding what was going on, and without ever letting go of her hand, which he had held all those hours, he watched as they removed her assistance and saw that she was breathing on her own. She was still unconscious but it was a big step forward. They left them alone again. He saw her smiling. He saw her with tears. He wiped them away as she continued to think that she should stay with him and not go anywhere.

She was bruised; she had run her hand over each of them, her eyes plagued. She had a cut on her chest that stuck out slightly from the gown she was wearing. She fixed it for him so it wouldn't show. She was going to do that. He was furious about what had happened to her and had no one to blame but himself. Alan had killed the real one. But he would have gladly done it himself.

~~~~~~~~~

I was still tired. But I didn't feel dead anymore. There was light but it was bothering me. And I was being called. The voice of my love. Still happy memories. But it was so real. Even the warmth of his hand on mine was so real. His touch on my hair was real. I woke up like that.

This time it was true. I woke up with him looking at me and calling me. I put him in focus. He was crying. Why was he crying? It must have been one of my dreams because he never cries. I was the weeper. Not him. I wanted to ask him why he was crying but my mouth felt doughy and I was thirsty. I wonder if there was a bottle of water there somewhere.

It was this simple thought that made me remember everything, a stupid little bottle of water. He must have read the terror in my face because he got scared, I saw it. I know him more than I know me. Then I calmed down. Because sometimes we switch roles. And in there, in that room, I had become the strong one and he was crying. We would switch again in the future but at that moment it worked like that. I stroked his hand and managed to whisper to him, "It's okay, I'm home."

I had to repeat it a second time, not without effort, because he had not heard me. He replied that yes, I was home and told me to rest. He did not stop stroking my face for a single moment. I wasn't going to protest for sure. I was back home. And I felt protected.

                              ~~~~~~~~~~

She was not left alone for even a minute; they all took turns allowing Phil at least to get a shave and a shower before, as his sister told him, he began to look like a gorilla.

"Jessy don't make me laugh, everything hurts," he whispered to her. She was hurt in body and soul but still managed to be happy. She was alive. And she had returned to her love. And with him she could fix everything that was broken.

Then she was moved a few days later to a regular inpatient room and Phil announced that she was about to have a special visitor.
He saw her run through the door and then slow down, because he wanted to jump on top of her to hug her but Mom had reminded her that she had to be quiet. She was dressed in her favorite outfit, the one he had told her about in there, her black hair neatly combed and her smile big. Her superheroine.

He made room for her in the bed by barely moving to one side and clapping his hand on top. He did not make her repeat it twice, instantly took off his shoes and stood beside her, embracing her with the gentleness of a butterfly.

"Thank you, Hailey, for saving me! This is for you, so we will be friends for life." She handed her a pendant. With the initials C.H. and a small infinity symbol engraved on it.

"No, thanks to you, you are the one who saved me," and it was true. She was alive only because of you. And everyone else of course. But only her courage had kept her alive. And she was about to cry for her gift.

"Okay now no more thanks because I have a facade of meanness and cynicism to maintain," intervened a bright-eyed Phil. He confessed to me only later that he too was indebted to that child.
And I thought he was handsome and sexy even in this moved version.