𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖈𝖐 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊// robin arellano

𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖞

𝗧𝗪: 𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗦𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗧𝗪 𝗕𝗘𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗜𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗜𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦 𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗨𝗙𝗙, 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗔𝗧 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡.

𝗬/𝗡'𝗦 𝗣𝗢𝗩:
It has been 2 weeks and 3 days since i died.  Robin has been in a total of 11 fights, been suspended 4 times and arrested twice. Ive been watching over him, that way i still feel like im with him. I dont think he feels that way though, he hasnt been dealing with his grief very well. Ive watched him fight, cry, scream, and not once have i been able to watch him laugh. He refuses to be happy and its killing both of us. I feel incredibly guilty, if i fought from the beginning then i might of still been there with him, then i might of prevented all of this. Vance has helped me bear with it though, the pain isnt quite as hard when hes with me. Im letting him in, and i've opened up to him about all of the hurt i have. Its a different story with Robin though. Finneys been with him through all of this but he refuses to let him in, no matter how hard Finney pushes. He no longer jokes around with gwen, rarely speaks to donna, and completely cut bruce off. Whenever asked, his insistence is always that 'he's fine', but i know he's not, everyone knows he's not.
Tonight is mine and vances funeral.
I walk home with robin afterschool, his hoodies hood up over his head, his hands are buried in his pockets, and his head points down to the floor. He walks by himself, a harsh silence lingering. He makes it to his house, walking in and shutting it gently behind it. His mum comes to him,
"Theres some quesadillas on the side if you want some."
"Not hungry" He answers blankly as he pulls his hood down, revealing a harsh bruise on his cheek.
"Robin." She says sternly, grabbing his cheek and inspecting it, "You've got to stop getting into all these fights mijo, need me to grab some ice?"
"Its fine ma."
Camilla sighs sadly.
"I understand today might be hard for you but-"
"Be ready by 5 yeah whatever" Robin cuts her off as he trudges upstairs.
I look at camillas sad expression, wanting nothing more then to hug her and tell her he'll get better soon, but i can't. Instead i follow robin up the stairs, into his room. It now being 15:42, robin plonks on his desk chair, pulling a small notepad from out of his pocket. Being asked to speak at the funeral, hes been preparing for what hes going to say, so far hes got nothing. He looks blankly at the notepad, clicking his pen as he waits for something to write. He scribbles a few words down before scribbling them out again, sighing and closing the notepad, pushing it gently to the side. He then goes to the bathroom and gets in the shower, staying in there for a good twenty minutes before managing to drag himself out. He dries his hair partially with a towel while wrapping another around his waist. He then plonks back down at his desk, reaching for the notepad and opening it up once more. His pen clicks, he taps his finger on the desk, he goes to put pen to paper, but writes nothing. He angrily sighs, throwing the notepad across the desk and onto the floor. He stays sat down for a minute, staring blankly at his wall, before pulling himself up and to his wardrobe. He pulls out the red suit he wore for the dance, bringing a smile to my face, but it fades when i notice the frown on robins. Tears form at his eyes but he wipes them before they can fall, i look to vance.
"You think hes gonna be okay tonight?" I ask
"Honestly?"
I nod.
"No, i dont y/n. Kids been a mess since, and now he has to go talk about how he lost his girlfriend in-front of everyone in this town, course hes not gonna be 'okay'."
"A yes or no would've been fine." I grumble, feeling guilty as hell. Vance shrugs.
Robin gets changed into the suit before going over and picking the pad of paper up from the floor, then falling back onto his bed and staring blankly at it. I want to hug him, tell him that everything's going to be okay, my heart aches watching him lose himself. I feel like crying, screaming, anything to get him to see me, but he doesn't. He sighs and rises from his bed, going to one of his drawers and pulling out a small bag, opening it, and pulling a joint out. That's another thing, he started smoking. He hated smoking, thought it was disgusting, but now he's practically always high. I hate it, but i will admit, he seems more at ease once hes smoked.
"Again? Thats like the third time today." Vance says to me
"Leave him" I sigh. "You said it yourself, hes not gonna be okay tonight, if this helps him get through it then so be it."
"Yeah but-"
"Leave him vance." My voice is stern as i watch robin sit at his window, taking drag after drag. Vance sighs and shakes his head, sitting on robins desk. I walk closer to robin and peer around him to see his face, his blank expression.
The time comes, everyone in town crowded into seats in a church. Somber music plays and a display of candles and flowers lay at the front beneath mine and vances photos. My mother sits at the front, sobbing into a tissue. Me and vance watch her with narrowed eyes, her pitiful cries attracting everyone's attention.
"God she's got everyone fooled, hasn't she?" Vance scoffs. "This whole loving mother act, its bullshit!"
I shake my head at her.
"She lost us both years ago, guess it took death for her to realise that."
I turn my back to her, her unbearable act starting to anger me. I look around, seeing finney and gwen sat with their dad, tears brimming finneys eyes as he hugs gwen, who cries into him. Donna sits a few rows behind them, resting on her mother as tears silently spill down her face. Theres also bruce, with his family, a saddened look on his face as he looks around the room. Then there's the Arellanos. Camilla hugs little diego tightly as tears stream down her face silently, little diego clutches onto her arm as he looks around at people, a mix of sadness and confusion on his face. He's too young to truly understand. El leans on robins shoulder as a tear rolls down her face, and diego sits silently at the other side of robin. Robin sits frozen, his body tense as he stares blankly at my photo. The music fades and the service starts, the priest taking place at the altar. He says a few words before calling my mother up to speak, she goes up and wipes her tears before speaking, trying to stop her sobs.
"Thank you everyone, for being here today, and for your support at this difficult time of the loss of my two children, vance and y/n hopper." She gulps. "It is no secret that my children were not perfect, im sure many of you here today knew of the troubles the pair got up to. The first night vance went missing, id presumed he had run off somewhere with his friends, but days went by and y/n too had disappeared, along with one of her friends. It was when i received a call from her friends mother, asking if i had seen them as they never returned after looking for vance, that something inside of me told me that, something wasnt right. And when the police showed up at my door the next day to tell me that- that my babies were gone i-" She sobs. "Its a position that a mother never sees herself in, to be told that her children had been- been-" She breaks into tears, apologising before being taken back to her seat by the priest.
"What bullshit." Vance scoffs.
The principal then comes up and preaches about mine and vances potential.
"More bullshit." I sigh.
Then, camilla is called up. She takes place at the altar and begins to speak, her eyes brimmed with tears.
"Hello everyone my name is Camilla Arellano, mother of robin arellano." I brace myself. "I know i have no real relation with y/n, i am simply a mother who was given the gift of being in a chapter of her beautiful story that she shared with my son, and it would be unfair to her if i didn't share it today. Y/n hopper was a beautiful girl, with a beautiful heart. The love that my son found in her is one that i cannot even begin to describe, but to our family she wasnt just some girlfriend of robins. To my daughter lizzie, she was a sister. To my son diego, she was a friend. And to me and my brother, she was like a daughter. Our lives were blessed in meeting such a girl, and in watching her and my son fall in love."
Tears start to form at my eyes and i look over to robin who stares down at his shoes, wiping his eyes.
"She brought a light into his life, and a spark to his eyes that i had never seen before. Hearing how robin spoke about her made my heart warm, the way he laughed a little louder when she was near, and how he smiled brighter when she would speak. Young love is often perceived as innocent crushes, or silly teenage flings, but this was different. I saw the affect y/n had on my son, how their hearts held each other close, how their energies drew them together, and how their souls would dance through a simple locking of their eyes across my kitchen table. Their love was so powerful simply being in the same room as them brought me back to a time where i was in love, with my husband, robins father. I am forever grateful for y/n, and the love her and my son shared, because even if it was only for a little while, i got to watch as she brought the purest love to my robins heart, and to my familys home. Her and her brother vance were always welcome at my house, they always had a seat at my table if they needed so, and they will always have a place in my family's hearts." She wipes a tear away from her cheek and goes back to her seat.
I stand frozen in place, tears silently rolling down my face. Vance reassuringly gives my shoulder a squeeze, snapping me back to the present. I wipe my tears and smile weakly, wanting nothing more than to hug camilla and never let go. Robins name is called and all heads look at him. He reluctantly stands up and makes his way to the altar, refusing to look at anyone.
"I dont think ill ever know how to love someone else the way i love you. I have never met someone who made me feel the way you did, you were the first person i truly connected with. It was like the sun in you reflected rays off of the moon in me, you made me laugh like i have never laughed before. It was so easy to be with you, so simple to love you, you fit into my life so perfectly with your sunny smile and bright eyes. Its hard to believe that feeling is gone, that youre gone because-" His voice cracks and i feel my heart sink. "Because home never felt like a place, home was a person. You, y/n hopper, were the first and last person that ever felt like home." He quickly wipes his eyes, my heart dropping further "And sometimes i wish i could hate you, wish i didnt love you, because maybe if i didn't, i could move on. Sometimes i wish that i had never met you, never fallen for you because it would all be so much easier now. But the truth is it isnt," His voice cracks again and a tear spills down his cheek, my heart sinking further to my stomach. "It isnt easier, and hate wont make my heart feel better or bring you back, and you can't hate the person you love unconditionally." Robin breathes in deeply, composing himself. "But atleast i got loved by you at one point, and that was the best feeling ever, even if it means i will never move on from you because its simply not possible. I cannot and will never move on, it's impossible to go even a day without thinking of you, so how am i expected to never think of you again? How am i expected to forget about everything we went through? Like it meant nothing, like holding you in my arms wasn't the safest id ever felt, because it was. When i was with you, for the first time in my life i felt at ease, i felt like i had a place in this world and without you-" He breaks, and my heart shatters. "Without you it feels like my place is gone." He sobs "All i want is to be in your arms again, and hear your heartbeat as i lay on your chest. All i want is you, to be with you, now all i have is the memories. And what im scared of most is forgetting them, because memory fades eventually." He clears his throat as he tries to stop his crying but its no use, the tears continue to fall and his voice continues to wobble. "Deep down, i've always known that you'd leave someday, sooner or later. I just wasn't expecting it to be this soon though. Our story shouldnt have ended yet, not until we'd been able to write a happier ending of it. I've always hoped that we were destined to have that 'forever' we talked about. Sure we're young but we loved each other, and im scared i didnt have enough time to show you just how much I truly loved you. All I wish is that i could go back to those days when you were filling my stomach with butterflies, when every giggle of yours gave me even more of them, when i felt happy. Because all of the happy songs you'd sing at the top of your lungs are now sad, and the pictures of us smiling together pains me to look at, but i cant let it go. I cant unlove you, i dont want too. My angel, i promise you that i will hold onto us until my hands are buried by the earth, my heart talks about nothing but you and i know that soon i will have my wish, and be with you." He sobs, and i cry with him, hugging vance tightly.
"Fuck what have i done?"
"Its not your fault y/n" Vance reassures me, but i blank him out, continuing to cry quietly in his arms.
The service ends and i sit silent at the arellanos kitchen table, vance leaning quietly against a door frame. Everyone is in the kitchen, except for robin who is hidden in his room. Normally id be with him but i cant face him right now, i cant watch him suffer knowing there's nothing i can do about it. Camilla dishes out some food and places each plate at each seat at the table, including robins.
"Diego baby can you go get your brother?" She asks him with a weak smile, little diego sees her sadness and smiles brightly back at her.
"Okay mom" He runs up the stairs "Robinnn!"
He continues to shout for robin but no answer, i sigh, presuming robins stoned again. Suddenly, an ear-piercing cry echoes through the entire house.
"Mommy!?" Little diego screams, as if hed just seen a ghost.
Camilla immediately runs up, diego and El sprinting behind her. Me and Vance follow, concerned looks on all of our faces. Suddenly camilla screams, and i feel my heart sink to my stomach as i enter the room.
"No- no no no!" My eyes widen and my stomach spins, i fall back and vance catches me. I scream, i cant think of anything else to do, a loud shriek of pure terror escaping my lips. My body trembles against vances arms as he slowly lowers us to our knees, grabbing my head and pulling it to his chest.
"Fuck its okay, you're okay" He grips me tightly, his breathing heavy and quick. I scream and cry and sob, my entire body shaking as i grip tightly onto vances arm, my nails dug deep into his flesh. I look back up, seeing robins limp body suspended up by a rope, wrapped tightly around his neck. His face looks grey and his eyelids bulge slightly. Diego desperately tries to untie the rope, succeeding and robin falling to the ground. I scramble frantically to the bathroom, just making it to the toilet in time to throw up, tears stream down my face and the cold bathroom floor burns my legs. Vance swoops my hair up and pats my back.
"Its okay, its okay its okay" He repeats over and over, i shiver and cry, my throat burning.My chest tightens and i can't breathe.
"Angel?" I hear from behind me, i spin around.
Robin, looking directly at me.
I rush to him, grabbing him and pulling him close to me, sobbing into him.
"Im so sorry robin, im so sorry" I sob as i cling onto him tightly, he cries back into my neck.
"I couldn't do it angel im sorry" He cries weakly as he grips to me tightly. "I need you."
"Robin i-"
"I told you, you're stuck with me, i couldnt have you leave me." Our bodies hold each others tight to our own as we both cry for one another.

𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗨 𝗠𝗙𝗦 𝗦𝗔𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗚
𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗜 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛 𝗜𝗧 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢 𝗕𝗘
𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛, 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗜𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔 𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢𝗣𝗜𝗖 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗛 𝗦𝗢 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛. 𝗜𝗙 𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗖𝗛 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬, 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘.
𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝗦𝗨𝗜𝗖𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘:
116 123
𝗜 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗞 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗢 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦 𝗕𝗢𝗢𝗞, 𝗪𝗘 𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗘𝗗 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗜𝗠 𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗜𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗔 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗢𝗬𝗘𝗗 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬  𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗧. 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗡𝗢 𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗔 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗠𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗘𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗘𝗡𝗝𝗢𝗬 𝗠𝗬 𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗢 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗟 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨, 𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗔𝗦𝗘 𝗣𝗨𝗧 𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗬 𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗜𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗦!
3185 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀