Hopeless//5sos✔️

16.

"he wouldn't do that. he's just saying that to manipulate and gas light you. i know the type of person he is sav. he just wants you wrapped around his finger." michael pointed out.

"but what if he actually does it! what if he actually kill's himself." i spoke firmly as tears started to flood my eyes again.

"he won't. he wouldn't do that. someone as self obsessed as he is wouldn't do that. if he's serious, regardless of how i feel about him, he needs medical attention." luke stated calmly as he handed my phone back to me.

"i just feel so broken about this. i wanted to be that tough girl that was defending her boyfriend, but since i've come here, i can't help but question his every motive." i whispered into luke's chest.

"sometimes we have to ask for help. sometimes the situation is so nasty that we need to ask for someone to help us out of it. this is one of those situations love." luke explained as he held me tightly against his chest.

i missed this.

"i-i'm sorry for being so mean to you. i just didn't know how else to react. it was impulsive." i whispered.

"it's okay. i know it was defense mechanisms. we all know." luke chuckled as he looked at all the guys.

"yes, i'm sorry to all of you. i was a real fucking problem." i mumbled as i looked up at the three boys standing around me.

"don't worry, none of us took it to heart." michael spoke with a smile.

"how do i end this with him?" i asked as i looked over at ashton.

he was a shrink after all.

"well, i think we can talk about it tomorrow. you've had enough of a hard time today. you deserve a break. don't respond to him and just give yourself a break and time to prepare." ashton spoke softly.

"thank you guys." i smiled softly as michael, calum, and ashton left my room to head to theirs.

i slowly got up with the help of luke and sat on my bed.

"i'm sorry lukey." i whispered as i hung my head low.

"don't be sav. i'm not mad at you. in fact, i'm extremely proud of you for taking these steps. i'm so fucking proud of you." luke spoke as he bent down to my level.

"i love you." i smiled softly.

"i love you too." luke replied as he stood up and slowly shut my door as he walked out.

i didn't know if i was ready for this, but i almost felt like i have to force myself to be whether i want to or not.

———

i woke up the next morning with a massive headache and sore throat.

please, i couldn't afford to be sick right now.

i slowly walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. i looked terrible.

i remembered what colton told me.

"just take one anytime you feel under the weather. they will help you feel better." colton whispered as he handed me a tiny bottle filled with white tablets.

"are you sure baby? i don't want to use anything that's going to be harmful towards me." i pointed out as i shakily took the bottle from his hand.

"i'm sure. you trust me don't you?" colton smirked as he touched my hair.

i've been using them since.

i don't know what they are and don't want to know what they are.

all i know is that they help me feel better when i feel sick.

i went into my bathroom and pulled out a tiny bottle in the back of my makeup drawer.

the bottle was empty. i had 2 tablets left.

i gently tapped one into my hand and swallowed it before walking downstairs.

there's no way this was illegal. colton wouldn't do that to me.

"hey sunshine." calum smiled as he sat downstairs.

"hey cal, can i ask you something. do you think you could refill a medicine for me?" i asked with a smile.

"a prescription? what's it for? i wasn't aware of any health concerns?" calum spoke.

"i actually don't know what it's called, do you mind coming with me upstairs?" i asked softly.

calum nodded and followed behind me.

i walked into my bathroom and dumped the last tablet into my hand before showing it to calum.

it took maybe 3 seconds before calum's eyes went wide and he snatched the tablet from me.

"where the fuck did you get this?" he asked quickly.

"why? what's wrong?" i spoke slightly panicked by his voice.

"this is oxy. oxycontin savannah. where did you get this? this is illegal to have without a prescription?"