summer love (Dua lipa)

Cowards

I decided not to sleep the whole night and wait for Devin to get home on the couch. He got home around 5 am, turns out he was looking for me but gave up and just went to a friends house. He said he wasn't upset just worried and he apologized for the way he treated me and understood why I ran off. He stayed up with me for an hour but fell asleep. I thought about everything that has been happening to me and how I was stupid to think that she was into that. I felt sorry for myself but at least I knew I like girls a bit too. At around 8 am Robbie came out her room, I wonder if Devin knew what was going on.
"Y/n you're here" he says in an fake excited tone
"I just needed to escape a bit I apologize if I worried you" I tell him can't believe I apologized
"No worries I have to go I'll catch you later" he says as he exits.
Dua and I usually practice around 1 pm so I could catch some sleep because for some reason now that Robbie is gone and she is by herself I feel at peace. I fell onto my bed and that was that.

I woke up and automatically started thinking on how  I should act towards her now. But I think I should just avoid speaking to her as much as possible, yeah we have to work together but that doesn't mean we to talk about anything but that. I was even considering just backing out from performing but this was a dream of mine.

I walk out to the the kitchen to eat an apple at least, Devin is still sleeping, and it's 12:39 pm. I look out back and she's there just writing in her song book. I wonder what she wrote in that thing, was she even getting out as much to be getting inspired?
The house phone began to ring and I quickly went to answer it so Devin can keep sleeping.
"Hello" I say
"Y/n it's Robbie you mind passing Dua" he says was he this obsessed already?
"Sure" I say and I put the phone on the counter
I open the back yard door and walk bare foot in the grass, she doesn't notice me yet. She looks so effortlessly pretty she has that "it girl" look to her and she knew she did. I truly don't know anything about her.
"Robbie is on the phone for you" I tell her and she looks up at me
"Right thanks" she says as she gets up and just walks right by me, I follow behind her and as I'm about to go in she stops me
"I'd appreciate it deeply if you could give me some privacy" she says and I want to tell her off because this isn't even her place to begin with but I don't feel like making it a big deal so I'll just give her space. As soon as she goes inside she runs toward the phone like a child who's been lost and finally find their mom.
Maybe she was doing it to make me mad but maybe she actually did like him.

I went back to where she was sitting and her book was right there wide open. I had intrusive thoughts going on my head now because what if the answers to my doubts are there? I kept staring at it that I began to go insane because I swear it was starting to stare at me. I finally gave in because her conversation with Robbie seemed to be taking long. I grabbed the book quickly my eyes skimmed through the words so fast. There wasn't anything too crazy in it until I got to the second to last page, there was two papers folded together. I opened the first one
"Mind" was the title of the song maybe? And one of the lyrics
"If you don't like the way I talk then why am I on your mind?"
And it reminded me of when I make fun of her accent, I read the day it was written on and it was the day at the lake.
I opened up the second page and it was title
"Fever" and it had the lyrics
"Hand on my forehead, kiss my neck" and the date was two days ago thats when she picked me up at the party and took care of me when I got back. This didn't answer anything though she could just be writing these things. For all I knew she could be writing about Robbie so I just decide to put the book how it was.
Part of me wanted to slap myself because she said she wasn't interested in him just two days ago but I also wanted to slap myself because if she wasn't interested then why would she sleep with him.
"Are you ready?" I hear her voice from the door, I wait for her to come near me just so I can nod
She started singing and I started playing my guitar I stared at her the whole time because I'm wondering what I see in her or what makes her so special to me. How did I just start to like her overnight when I knew nothing personal about her, is that how it's supposed to work? I should be into Devin or something but he's just not my type but what if this whole liking girls is just a phase?
"We can pick up later tonight Robbie is bringing some bikes over so we can all go bike riding to the beach" she says but I don't really want to go especially to see them all over each other
"Leave me the song sheets I'm staying" I say while giving her a soft smile and she takes a huge sigh
"Please let me apologize for treating you poorly yesterday" she blurts put and I swear I've never been so surprised and relieved to hear someone say the word apologize I barley even hear it but I almost immediately hate hearing it come from her because she had no reason to apologize for me lying that I don't remember what happened between us even though it wasn't a huge thing. So now I let a huge sigh out
"No Dua let me apologize for forgetting whatever happened if it was something special for you I'm sorry but maybe it happened because it was special to me too it's just the stupid drugs that I'll never do again" I tell her and again I'm lying but not the part where I mention that it was special to me too
"Can I hug you" she asks and I nod.

Maybe this is just a friendship and I should cherish it because not many people like this come along in my life at least. I bet she's had thousands of men and women think it's more than what it is with her and have maybe ruined it by making the friendship too complicated. I wanted to be more than friends but for now friends doesn't sound too shabby. Also I really want to go bike riding by the beach with people I'm comfortable with.
"Let's go then" I say, let go of her, and give her a soft smile
"Yup" she responds with a soft smile as well and we head into the house where Devin is still sleeping, it's 3 pm now so he has to wake up.
"Devin" I scream loudly and he falls off the couch, me and Dua burst out laughing for almost 2 minutes long
"You guys are seriously so mean" he says while getting up and getting himself together
"Why the alarm anyways" he says rubbing his eyes
"We're going biking boy hurry" I say going up to him and touching his face "you feeling okay?" I whisper to him "yea are you?" he whispers too and I nod
"I'm going like this I'm not changing so no one judge" he says
"Your father isn't coming yet you could change" Dua says
"You're not my step mom yet so I don't have to listen to you" Devin says to Dua and I'm reminded of the fact that her and Robbie are a thing now. Dua just looks annoyed from his comment luckily a knock stops the tense convo
"That's probably him" I say as I walk towards the door and open it to reveal Robbie with a straw hat to protect him from the sun
"Y/n how's my favorite sons friend" he says and in my head I laugh out loud because I'm basically his only real friend
"I'm good" I say and he just walks right past me and makes his way to Dua and gives her the biggest hug ever that I nearly throw up
"Alright everyone ready?" He says and we all just nod and heads toward the car

Once we made it to the beach it was sundown but the boys insisted that we took a swim but none of us brought anything to wear. We basically just said screw it and just went in with our underwear and us girls are bras of course. He was all over her and it killing me. I didn't want to swim a lot so I sat out for a bit. I felt this tap on my shoulder and I was scared of turning because everyone else was in the water. It was the girl from the club the other day.
"Hey" she says
"Um this is not a good place" I whisper to her over my shoulder
"Oh nah don't worry I'm not going to out you I just came to say hello" she says and begins to sit next to me and I see everyone from in the water stare at us
"Let me guess that's her?" She whispers, how in the world was it that obvious? This girl knew my biggest secret so there was no point in lying to her
"Yea but clearly it's not happening" I tell her and look down
"Let's test it here" she says and whistles. This tall blonde thin boy comes up to us
"Jack take her by the hand and behind that rock" she tells him, at least I knew his name. He doesn't complain but just follows her directions. I turn to look at Dua and she's actually noticing it. Once we're behind the rock.
"What do we do now" I ask him and he just shrugs. I hear foot steps and he grabs my waist. He plants his lips on mine quickly, I have my eyes open but from the side of my eye I see Dua walking towards us and I close my eyes to make the kiss genuine. Then I feel his lips pull away but in a rough way.
"What the fuck" he says , she grabs me by my wrist like I'm a child who did something wrong
"Why would you do that" I tell her and she stops before we get to the boys
"Not him okay choose better" she says I get close to her face and stare into her eyes and down to her lips and to her eyes again
"Who's better then?" I whisper but she doesn't say anything it's not surprising but disappointing
"Exactly" I say
Now I knew she got jealous but she was just as much as a cowards as me though. This whole thing is confusing but sweet at the same time. How was this mystery every going to be figured out if we're both too scared to admit anything.

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They need to both stop being wieners and just say they like each other! Performance is almost coming!Thanks for reading again :)