summer love (Dua lipa)

Weak

"Look please don't report me I was just looking for my friend and she's clearly not here" Ron says

Dua starts walking around the restroom, she walks by each stall. Every stall she passes, the closer she's getting to where I am. God why me of all people! Breathe Y/n breathe. Once she gets to me I'll just walk out, leave the restroom and that will be the end of the story. I don't need to talk to her I can just continue on with my day and the rest of my life.

"Your friend is in here" she says

She knocks on my stall. Fuck. I'm never going to use the restroom at this damn school ever again. Now she's going to know I was standing here like a weirdo watching her and her whatever kiss. I unlock the stall door.

I meet her face. Oh god. She's so beautiful. Do I smile? Is it okay to do that after all this time or will this offend her? Does she even want to see me? God does she even remember me? What is she thinking?

She smiles.

"Sorry" I say
Already apologizing? How pathetic can I get. I'm just going to go now.
"There you are hurry they're going to kill us if we don't go now" Ron yells
"Wait" Dua says stepping in front of me
"Please don't report us mam" Ron says
"I won't I just need a word with your friend here privately" she says
"Okay cool" Ron says as he leaves
What the hell Ron? I know we met just moments ago but cmon have my back. I don't want to talk to her, I can't, im not ready for this. She should hate me for leaving so why does she want to talk to me.

"So" she says
I do anything but make eye contact with her. Literally staring down at the ground like a puppy avoiding eye contact when they're in trouble.
"Are you going to talk? Don't you at least think you owe me that" she says
"What do you want me to say?" I respond
"I'm not sure actually" she says
"Then I should go" I say
"Again? I haven't seen you in a long time" She says
"And now you're in the best place you can be in" I say

She starts laughing hysterically like a psycho. Even if it's awkward, hearing her laugh brought me warmth. I missed her smile more than I thought. But seriously why was she laughing? It's a bit creepy.
"Where am I? I'm still hiding who I truly want to be" she says
"Not as much as before, you speak up for people like us" I say
"Us? I almost forgot you like girls there for a bit after you left" she says

I'm not sure I even like anything anymore. I haven't felt attracted to anyone since Dua. Truth is im afraid of ever falling in love again, clearly I don't know how to appreciate anything or anyone as much as I should.
"I haven't been with anyone since you so I don't know actually" I say
"Will you look at the time I have to go" she says

Huh? Was that it? Honestly easier than I thought. But I don't know I didn't feel okay just leaving it at that. I know I said I wanted to avoid her but now that we had an interaction I wanted more of her. Can I be blamed? But maybe that's what she wanted to happen, for me to be desperate for her, of course I can't let her know that though.

"Okay well good luck" I say
"Will you not be watching?" She asks
"No I can't" I say
"You can't do anything can you?" She says

Oh. That sort of stung in the heart. But what can I say? I have no right to even be this close to her after what I did. Why she's here? Maybe just to actually perform and that's all, not because of me.

"I guess so" I say as I start walking past her towards the door
"Wait" she says
I turn to look at her. Her eyes, pupils fully dilated. In class once our professor said those were signs of love hormones, whatever that meant. But it's all just a theory.
"I want to see you after my show and I want you to watch the show" she says
"Dua I don't think it's a good idea" I say