summer love (Dua lipa)

Feel

Yesterday night felt like a dream but I couldn't figure out that if it was a dream was it a good or bad one. I knew there were people now who were into the same sex but it wasn't a good thing at least that's how my parents raised me to view it. Maybe that's why I'm confused because I can't or won't admit that I might have those feelings for Dua. I won't admit that I wanted something to happen yesterday even though I did. Now I knew she might feel what I'm feeling too but she was willing to be more risky about it. I wanted her lips on mine yesterday not on my stupid hand and I sensed she did too. Again it came to my head that this is what I was wishing for so much for summer, I wanted to take risk.

There were only 3 days till we performed so we had to practice heavy these next days but Dua has dinner with Robbie today so she was just going to leave music sheets with me.
"This song will have everyone on their feet and dancing  I promise you it'll only be acoustic for now but once everything is done for it it'll be perfect" Dua says while she shows me her song book the title of the song was "Dance the Night" it was a disco song which again I don't think will work here but I was all in for something different.
"I'm sure it will" I respond smiling and nodding
We didn't talk about last night that's why I was debating on rather it was a dream or not but maybe it meant nothing to her and I'm overthinking it.
"I leave in like an hour and we been practicing all day so what do you think of a break" she asks but it's not really a question because I'm sure she needs time to get ready
"Sounds good" I respond, set my guitar down on my bed and begin to walk out my room. I bumped into Devin right outside my room
"Good I was just going to see you there's a party and you have no option to say no" he says
"Wasnt going to say no idiot but now I have to change so I'll meet you right now" I tell him, he nods and walks away. I enter my room again and shes just in a black lace bra and panties. She quickly turned and covered herself with her hands until she realized it was me.
"I thought you left I apologize" she says
"Don't worry we're both girls so it doesn't matter" I respond because it's true it shouldn't matter at all but I found her so attractive in it. Maybe that was the purpose of lace though, my parents would kill me if I wore that and I found it insane that even when it came onto what I wear under my clothing I was still worried about my parents opinion.
"You're right and I would wear just this the entire day if men weren't pervs because they're so comfortable" she responds as she plays with the spandex on her panties
"They're that comfortable?" I ask genuinely curious
"They most certainly are come feel the material" she says and I walk over to her but I don't immediately touch anything,
"We're both girls remember" she says and grabs my hand and places it between her breast. I just quickly feel it and pull my hand away
"Yea comfortable I need to get ready to I'm going to a party" I quickly say
"No wait you didn't feel good enough" she says while grabbing my arm
"I'm good" I fake smile and continue making my way into the bathroom to change

I washed my face because I want to snap out of this stupid feeling I was having of desire and lust. I haven't even had my first kiss why was I having thoughts like this. I quickly changed into a bra top and denim shorts because I just wanted to get out of here quickly. When I walked out into my room she was gone and I couldn't be more relieved. I took a deep breath before walking to the living room.
"Finally you take forever" Devin exclaims while he gets up Dua was in the kitchen munching on an apple
"Let's go then" I tell him and we make our way out the door and into the car.

We pass by the beach, it's so beautiful, sights like this don't exist back in college we're just surrounded by sad food markets. I guess thats why it's summer break because it's just a small break from actual reality and after that you'll probably be stuck with a job that has no breaks. God did the system suck. We finally make it to this huge mansion not really surprised it was in a place like this because Devin just knew the right people. We get to the entrance and this boy with the bushiest eyebrows opens the door.
"Dev the devil and devs girlfriend" he says in a confused tone
"This is y/n and she's not my girlfriend" Devin says as he walks in the door and I follow

We enter and it reeks like weed and booze but it's my favorite scent so a big smile starts to form. We finally make it to the back yard but my smile fades away quickly when I see two girls in the pool making out. No one was telling them anything and they were going full at it with tongue like in those cheesy romantic sitcoms they played on tv. I realized I was staring too much when one of the girls turned to look at me and smiled at me, I quickly continued following Devin and his friend. I don't understand anything that's going on I feel like I'm under the influence of something but I haven't touched one intoxicated thing.
"Are you okay?" Devin asks I guess he noticed too but I can't tell him what's going on because he will think I'm weird.
"Yea I just need a drink or weed" I respond but what I really wanted was to go home or anywhere far from this place.
"I've got something better" his friend says and he gets a bag out of cocaine and puts it on his finger but Devin stops him from getting close to me
"She doesn't do that" devin tells him but I wanted it I don't care what it was as long as it stops me from thinking so I push devin out the way and snort it.
My mind just goes blank.

I start walking around but Devin wasn't following me I look around for the time and it was 1 am, the last time I saw Devin it was 10 pm. What the hell have I been doing for two hours just walking?
"Are you going to keep playing you're the best" someone screams and I look around to see who they're screaming at but it's to me
"You ping pong cmon" this boy says not the bushy eyebrow one another one. That's what I've been doing? Fuckin ping pong I've never played that in my entire existence but I mean apparently I was good at it so I followed him maybe he knew where Devin was. There's a big green table, on the other side were two girls and two guys but on my side it was just me and the boy.
"You ready?" He asks, I think I was only good because of the coke but he was giving me a serious look like if he was my coach or something
"Not quite can I ask you something" I tell him and he nods and raises his hand to let the other team that I need time
"I was on coke when I was playing and I need to find my friend Devin please tell me you know where he's at" I tell him
"Devin Brooks?" He asks it was so weird to hear his last name, I nod
"He left a while ago he was trying to get you to go with him but you were too into the game and told him to leave" he says and I couldn't believe anything he was saying because it just wasn't me, of course it wasn't because I was on coke
"Wow I need to get out of here I'm sorry but is there a phone around" I ask him
"But the game" he says and I realize he's not going to tell me anything so I just walk past him and look for a phone

I walk around until I find one in the kitchen. I spin to dial each number of the house we were staying at and it rang. All that was in my head was that I need to apologize to Devin because he was right I shouldn't have taken coke. Then I hear that someone picks up and I immediately start apologizing
"Im sorry Devin I was stupid and I should have listened to you" I say but his voice isn't the one who responds
"Coke bloody hell are you okay y/n" Dua answers i automatically wish I was on coke again
"Oh I'm sorry Dua I didn't mean to wake you I'm good can you pass Devin on" I tell her
"He's asleep but I can pick you up just tell me where you're at" she says I want to say no so bad but I really didn't want to be here anymore so I gave her the address

Now I'm sitting on the side walk waiting for Dua the one thing I was trying to get off my mind was now picking me up.
"Get in" I hear her accent and I enter the car you can tell she was already ready for bed
"I wasn't going to sleep tonight without you I tried to but I was worried" she says as she starts the engine but I didn't know what to say because i felt desire but tired and both those feelings could cause something I won't have control over so I close my eyes to see if I can sleep and I succeed because I wake up when we're outside the house. I walk wobbly into the house and into my room where I throw myself.
"Don't sleep on your stomach let me check your temperature and here's some water" she says while handing me water. I drink it as if I've never had a drop in my life. She touches my forehead, my cheek, and she stops but doesn't look satisfied, I wasn't satisfied either. So she checked one last place, my lips and I wasn't going to stay still like she did so I opened my mouth. I kissed her index finger because it was the finger that feel in between my lips. Her facial expresssion was still but I knew she was enjoying it be she put her middle finger in too, I kissed it too. I don't know what we're doing but I like it very much. The farther I wanted her away the closer she was coming to me.

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Kinda inspired by CMBYN ifykyk lol. Listen to love me harder by ari while reading this and again thanks for reading :)