and we hated

Fact no.7: The past will always haunt me

NOAH

I've been staring at the ceiling for the past few hours.

I think it's way past midnight.

I had enough time to look around the room to see all its contours even in the darkness. There is a closet next to a wall. In one of the corners of the room is a table with an armchair in front of it. Shelves all over the walls, shelves I've left untouched. A painting of the sea somewhere. A TV on a bookshelf. It looks nice.

I can't get my head off her.

Not ever since she smiled.

She smiled at me. For the first time in a while.

I try my best not to make a sound as I tiptoe my way outside and go downstairs. There, I go out the terrace door and with the flashlight on my phone as only light source, I go along the pathway to the beach. We've been here hours ago. We've been laughing. We've been playing with each other.

She didn't look at me like she wanted to kill me.

She's been smiling.

I open my phone and go the to gallery. The one hidden album I'm the only one that can open it, since it has my Face ID as password.

I scroll through the photos of us. The ones we made during the time we dated. She is smiling the whole time. The most beautiful girl I've seen. I am now looking at the picture of us two in front of a lake. I swipe right and see a new picture, made in the same place, only we're kissing now.

I remember the day too well.

"I've never been here before", April says, as we look at the lake. She is holding my hand and our fingers are curled. I've never felt better.

"You haven't?", I ask her surprised. The lake is only twenty minutes away from her house. It's hard to think she hasn't known about this place.

"No, I haven't", she whispers. "But I'm glad I came here. I'm glad I came here with you."

I take a look in those beautiful dark brown eyes. She's perfect. Her chocolate colored skin, her dark curls that are now falling freely down her shoulders, her smile. She's stunning.

I deep down know she can't be mine. And that this is all a dream, that one day might fade.

Kai might kill me if he finds out I'm dating his sister. He is in Tokyo now and doesn't know. Neither do her or my parents. Or anyone else.

It's for the best.

"What's wrong, Noah?", she asks me. I am pulled out of my thoughts and turn to her again.

"Do you think it's right?", I ask her. I'm seventeen, she's one year younger. They say we have no limits, no worries at this age, but what happens when you meet the one you know will be the love of your life, and everyone tries to keep you two apart?

"What wouldn't be right?", she asks me.

"Us", I reply, my voice trembling.

"I know", she whispers, as if the answer she gave me before was the answer to my question.

I take a deep breath and try my best not to shiver. She comes closer and hugs me. I sink my face in her shoulder.

"There's nothing wrong in two people in love", she says. I look up to meet her eyes. She only nods and continues: "I love you, Noah. I love you so much. I would run away with you if we could. Go see the world. I want you next to me. I love you."

She takes a deep breath before she asks, her voice barely a whisper: "Do you love me?"

"I love you, precious", I answer, no sign of doubt. "I'll always do. I'm yours."

I can hear footsteps from behind and I turn around to look. April is walking on the beach. She's in a pair of sweatpants, her Wrencore Law hoodie and some sneakers. Her curls are up in a bun. I remember how she would tell me how much she wanted to become a lawyer. And I hate myself daily that I can't hold her and tell her how proud I am she is making her dreams come true.

As she notices me, she freezes.

"Fuck", she lets out.

She takes a deep breath and comes sit next to me.

I can't take my eyes off her, even when she's not looking at me. She's staring at the sea.

"Today was a mistake", it's all she says. I have to swallow hard. She luckily didn't see it.

"It was", I lie.

"We will never do that again", she continues.

"We won't." Another lie.

She turns her head to me.

"Don't you think I have it hard?", she asks me. Her voice isn't a whisper anymore. It's loud. Shouting.

I look at her surprised. She carries on.

"Do you think I like having to live in the same house as you for three months? Do you think that I like it?"

I don't want what to say to make her feel better. So I remain silent.

"Every time I see you...", she begins. "Every time I see you, I am reminded of that night. Every fucking time. You broke me, Coin. And now, I have to see you daily. Thank you so much for that."

She stands up to walk away, but after hearing a few footsteps, I shout: "And you think that for me is damn easy, don't you?"

I don't have to look at her to know she's staring. I only face forward, look at the sea, the place where a few hours ago I was happy.

"You think that every time I see you, I don't want to..."

She interrupts me. "Kill me?"

Kiss you. Tell you how sorry I am for what I've done. Hold your hand. Call you mine. Love you.

"Yeah", it's all I answer.

"Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but you still have almost three months in which you'll have to put up with me and spare me", she says, making it sound extra dramatic. She's angry. So am I.

"Lucky me", I counter.

"Fuck you, Coin", she shouts. "Leave me alone."

And before I can say anything else, she runs to the house.

I take a deep breath and look at the sea. The one that made me so happy.

Traitor.