shawn mendes imagines .

•Gain•

(A/N: This may be triggering so read with caution.)

*Y/N POV*
I just woke up from a nap and I was sitting in bed thinking. All of a sudden I hear Shawn say some things that will hurt me forever.

"Yeah, Y/N is gaining weight and it's honestly disgusting. I can't even look at her naked or fully dressed. I'm thinking about calling it quits but I feel bad for her."

My heart stopped, my body started to shake and I felt hot tears running down my face. I quickly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I threw up whatever I ate before I napped and sat down on the cold tile floor. I got up, looked at myself in the mirror and punched it.

The shattered glass fell everywhere and I picked the biggest piece up. I also got a razor out of the shower and stepped on it until the blades came out. I sat back on the floor and sat the piece of mirror in front of me. I took off my shirt and pants while still on the floor and then grabbed the blade.

I drug the cold metal on the skin of my thighs, wincing in pain. I looked at my body in the mirror and felt disgusted. What did I do to make myself like this? I'm a disgrace to human kind. I can't be here anymore. I need to die.
I grabbed the scale on the floor and threw it, making it break with pieces flying everywhere.

"I WANNA DIE!" I screamed out while dragging the blade across my wrist.

I just layed on the cold, tile floor, covered with glass, blood, and cried.

Why does my boyfriend hate me? Why am I so gross? I need to break up with him so he's "free".... I wanna sleep for a long time and never return to the earth.

After laying there for a while I heard Shawn come up the stairs and call my name.

"Y/N?"

"Y/N? Baby, where are you?"

He knocked on the door and I stayed silent..

"If your in here are you okay? Let me in.."

"If you don't let me in I will come in myself."

I heard something make the noise of a key but then remembered that he had a key to the bathroom. Shit!

The door swung open and Shawn walked in. He immediately dropped to his knees and held me in his arms. I struggled to get away from him but he wouldn't budge.

"Baby, why?" He asked with tears in his eyes

"I'm disgusting.. I'm gaining weight, getting fat, and I don't wanna live anymore!" I said still trying to pry his arms off of me.

"Don't you ever say that it's not true!"

"If it's not true, why did you say it? That's right, I heard you and you can't take it back. Don't feel bad for me. I wanna die so just leave." I said holding back tears

"Stop, I'm sorry... I didn't mean it. I really didn't, I love you for who you are! Don't cut and harm your body! It's not good for you! I don't want you to die, if you die I die too! I love you!" He said while grabbing the razor and slitting his wrists quickly.

"SHAWN, STOP DOING THAT" I screamed and grabbed the blade from his hands. I then threw it across the bathroom.

"Shawn, what you said isn't forgivable. I really love you but I'm not meant with you. I'm ugly now and I understand that you don't want to be with or seen with me. Please leave." I said shakily while holding back a flood of tears.

He kissed every last one of my cuts and then my forehead. He got up off the floor and left out of the bathroom while whispering a small "I love you kitten".

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A/N: I CRIED SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS.. I CANT BREATHE! OMG.. Thanks for 1k votes and almost 20k reads! It means so much! Ily all! XOXO
-Case. :)