feels like - charles leclerc

3

Nothing felt real. Just yesterday I had met almost the entire Formula one grid and now here i was having breakfast with Lily debriefing the entire night.

"You literally disappeared with Charles half the night and you can't lie to me and say that nothing happened. You clearly have like a crush or something there's no way you don't feel anything at all."

"I don't have a crush on him or anything. I don't really know him well enough to even say I look at him in that way." I said sitting back in my chair.

"Okay but do you find him attractive?"

"I'd have to be blind not to."

"Okay and would you mind getting to know him more in hopes of I don't know seeing if you could like him?"

"Is this your way of trying to get me to become a WAG or something?"

"You didn't say no! Alex and I are gonna have so much fun setting you two up-"

"No, none of that. If in some hypothetical situation something were to happen with Charles and I, I'd like it to happen naturally."

"Okay so that means you're coming on the boat with everyone tomorrow. And I already know you aren't busy so you can't back out!" Lily got up from her spot on the sofa to go refill her coffee cup.

In reality I didn't know where I stood with Charles. Like yes talking him with yesterday was amazing and it felt like we had always known each other but it's also the first time we met. I can't just let myself get all head over heels over one interaction.

__________________

The day moved by slowly as I had made my way back home from Lily's. I spent my day trying to work on the songs for my EP but I couldn't seem to get any lyrics down. Nothing seemed to fit and all the melody's I thought of led to nothing.

I grabbed my bag and packed my journal and other little things I wanted and headed out the door. My apartment was homey but having this writers block made the space feel suffocating. I walked around the streets of Monaco looking for anything, any spark of inspiration or even just a place to write.

I made my way to a hidden hiking spot that my mom used to bring me to when I was younger. The view here was amazing and even if I got nothing done it felt nice to be back.

As I sat on the edge of the cliff, taking in the city below, I heard steps getting closer and closer to me.

"Catalina?" A new yet familiar voice called out.

I turned back and there stood Charles in his running gear. It seemed like he had come alone and he had his headphones in his hands as if he took them off when he spotted me.

"Hey what are you doing here alone?" He said while taking a seat next to me on the cliff.

"I'm having a bit of writers block so I thought maybe coming here would help, but I've thought of nothing." I sighed.

It wasn't like me to have such a hard time writing songs, it always came to me naturally. Although I had writer's block before, it was nothing compared to this 2 month long mess I was stuck in.

"Can't say I'll be of any real help but what are you trying to write about?" He asked while turning a bit to face me.

"I don't really have anything in mind. I mean I've written songs about heartbreak for a while ,I think I want to add in some like happier songs but I'm not sure where to start."

"Well you don't have to start off with the overly happy lyrics if that's something you're not used to. Why don't you start with like the beginning of things getting happier, like the hope or curiosity of when it'll get better."

As the words left his mouth it felt like a lightbulb went off above my head and it seemed like he noticed it too because he reached into my tote and passed me my journal and my pen.

The first thing that came to me was the melody and then the pre-chorus and chorus, it almost always happened this way. I grabbed the pen from him with a smile and started writing.

I don't know if I'll be alright,
What will it take to make this good?
Oh, someone tell me it gets better,
Better, better, better.
Because for tonight,
I'm just not alright.

As I put my pen down I grabbed my phone and started a voice note singing the lines that I had written with the words in the melody I had thought of. As I finished, it felt like I had a good start to the song already and wanted to go home to finish the rest of it. Once again it seemed like Charles could read my mind.

"Would you like to come to my place so you can use my piano? I don't know if you already have your music stuff at your place but your welcome to use mine until they come in." he asked.

"I would love that Charles thank you so much. You don't know how much you just helped me." I said giving him a quick hug before gathering all my things and standing up.

Charles seemed to be caught off guard by my actions and took a second before breaking away from his thoughts and standing with me to lead us down.

"I brought my car here so we'll head back in that since it's starting to get dark." He said as we started down the path.

As we walked we talked a bit about how we had found this hiking place. It was odd that even though this place was a nice secret among the locals we had both come here at the same time on the same night.

"My mom used to bring me here when I would get stressed with school work or anything else really so that I could just sit and think. Sometimes she'd bring some food and we'd have a little picnic before we went home and stopped for some ice cream on the way." I smiled at the memory.

"You know it was similar for me but I had been here a few times with my dad after some disappointing races. Whenever I miss him or have a rough day I come here and it's like he's here with me again." He said looking away at the view as we continued down.

I wasn't quite sure what to say so I just looked down and we continued on in silence. It wasn't awkward even with the sudden end to the conversation. It felt comfortable as if it didn't matter what we did, being there side by side, our presence was enough. I shook the thoughts out of my mind as I glanced up at the stars that were beginning to show. I knew it was fast to be feeling these type of things about someone who I had just met. As much as I wanted to dive right in and embrace it all, I had to hold back. I knew it was for the best but god did he make that difficult.