feels like - charles leclerc

28

Shawn and I had spent our first week in Canada practically quarantined in his Toronto apartment. We tried to avoid the paps as much as possible but we knew it was only a matter of time. Things between us had become a bit of a blurry mess and I was afraid everyone would notice.

I haven't felt or acted like this in so long. The quick progression of our relationship scared me. Charles and I had fallen into everything so quickly we never really took the time to see things out. Or like we fell for the feeling of something new and fun. When the shininess wore off, he had gotten tired and looked for something new. I wanted to avoid this with Shawn. I wanted to stay in this ignorant bliss for a little while longer. I would rather him get tired of me while we're still friends than to go through that mess again.

This trip changed everything I had single handedly planned for myself. I promised to give myself time to heal alone but it was getting harder and harder as we spent more and more time together. I started to feel like I would heal faster with him beside me. It was quite funny honestly. We were acting like two teenagers trying to hide our feelings from one another. There were times when I would steal a glance at Shawn, only to meet his eyes as he was already looking at me. We watched so many movies together this past week. Each night we would sit closer and closer together until we were basically cuddling.

We had decided it was time to finally go out and see the city. We had invited Shawn's sister and her boyfriend with us to get dinner. I was more than nervous. I knew what this looked like and I knew what this meant. This was a step you took only when things seemed steady and real. Yet I was sure our situation was anything but steady or real. No declarations had been made nor any obvious advances from either of us. Our relationship was one big question mark.

"You're going to love her and she's going to love you. She already loves your music. Everything will go fine trust me." He said softly as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

We were waiting for his car to be brought to the front of the building. We stood in the lobby of his apartment building which earned us a few wide eyed looks and "secret" pictures. Yet all I could think about was making a good impression.

"She can still hate me. Oh my god if she hates me i'm going to fly back to new york, maybe even london-"

"She could never hate someone who's as important to me as you." He said casually.

My mind froze. My body froze. I felt like time had stopped. I had no time to register anything as he had already started guiding me to the car. His hand still firmly on my back.

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The car ride consisted of my taking a few pictures of my outfit while singing along with Shawn to the songs on our shared playlist. It was something we made 2 days after landing. We wanted music we mutually liked to be played whenever we were just relaxing in his apartment. Somewhere during the ride, his previous comment was pushed to the back of my mind as I remembered where we were headed.

We arrived to the restaurant and immediately walked in to our private section. Aaliyah and her boyfriend Jordan sat there patiently as we made our way into the room. Aaliyah shot up to hug Shawn as soon as she realized we had made it.

"It's been so long I've missed you so much." She said as she pulled him into a hug.

As they pulled away the pair turned to me.

"This is Catalina," He put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me closer to them.

"Catalina this is my sister Aaliyah and her boyfriend Jordan."

Aaliyah went in for a hug which caught me off guard but I immediately hugged her back. When we pulled apart I just gave a small wave to Jordan as to not overstep but also not be rude.