Reflections-C.L

Once in a lifetime person

DW:Mentions of anxiety, alcohol abusing, smoking and toxic relationships.

Thursday 15th September 2022
Monaco, Lydia and Charles' Apartment
03:04 a.m

"Have you realized yet that this year you might win the Championship? We all know that it was his year"

Lydia suddenly gets up, opening her eyes, breathing heavily. These words again. Playing again and again in her head.

She turns her head to look at the clock on her nightstand. 03:04 a.m. She takes a deep breath feeling her brain with air.

She takes the covers of her body swinging her legs at the side of the bed as she pushes her self to the edge. Her feet touch the cold floor and she winces at the feeling. She stands up, starting to walk barefoot towards the door, getting out of the room.

A few moments later she is in the kitchen, taking a glass from the cupboard,filling it with water before she the glass touches her lips. As she takes a few sips, she looks outside through the window.She sighs looking at herself outside, with a glass of alcohol in one hand. The other holding a cigarette as tears fall down from her eyes. She turns her head down looking at her hands that are shaking.

"Maybe a glass of that expensive whiskey Charles keeps in the liquid cupboard could help" a voice in her head whispers.

She shuts her eyes as she whispers "No" before start walking towards the bathroom.

She gets inside, opening the lights, closing the open door behind her. She looks at her hands again that are shaking. She knows what this means.

"Maybe a cigarette could help stop the shaking. You know a cigarette never hurt anyone Lydia" the voice in her head says again.

Shutting the voice in her brain, she turns her head up, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She can see her chest going up and down as her breathing starts getting quicker.

Suddenly the person in front of her opens her mouth to speak. "You took his year" she says as Lydia touches her mouth to make sure that she didn't say anything.

The reflection in the mirror laughs and talks again."It was his year Lydia.You are a really selfish person Lydia. Make up with him and then snatch his win from his hands. But you it's just who you are"

"No" Lyda says, her voice echoing in the bathroom.
"Oh but yes. You know it's true. You are selfish and spoiled Lydia"
"No" she shouts again, as she shuts her eyes closed, taking deep breaths.
"Look at you. A prisoner in her own head. Look what I've done to you Lydia" a different voice says this time and as she looks up at the mirror, the reflection has transformed into another person. A man. Philip. Lydia stays there staring blankly at the mirror. Unable to form any words.

"You are pathetic Lydia" he says and this time she can't handle it. It's too much. She shuts her eyes again, pulling her head down, shaking it as she tries to shut his voice once and for all.

"You are selfish"
"No"
"You deserve nothing"
"No"
"You are a nothing"
"NO"
"You are meant to fail Lydia"

She keeps shaking her head as hot tears fall down her cheeks. It's like everything is starting to happen from the start all over.

"Look at you. Crying like a baby. Face it Lydia. You will always be stuck in the past" he says one more time as he starts laughing.

"NO" she shouts one more time as she punches the mirror. As her knuckles come in contact with the mirror, it shatters in a million little piece that fall from it, scattering all around the bathroom.