the last summer | conrad fisher

low days

i wake up in connie's arms stirring around opening my eyes more. i turn to see a handsome brunette boy who i can finally now call mine. to be quite honest it all doesn't seem real yet. i lean up and stretch to have a feeling in my stomach i haven't missed at all. i wave of loneliness and sadness rushed through my body. even though i was sat next to the boy of my dreams, i still feel lonely. i slowly get out of bed grab a blanket and walk downstairs wrapping it around me. i walk into the kitchen to see mom and jay sat eating some food.

"morning eve" my mom says looking up at me

"yeah" i say turning away opening the fridge and grab some orange juice

my mom looks at my brother with a worried face and my brother shoots a confused look to her.

"you okay ev" my brother asks

"mhm" i say pouring the juice into a cup 

"you know we're here for you" the blonde woman says looking at me

"yep." i say putting the juice back in the fridge

i grab my cup and sit on the sofa turning on the tv. i turn grab mine and my dad's favourite cd that we always used to watch. i put it into the tv and the titanic starts playing.

i sit on the sofa watching my film letting out a quite sob.

Jaydens pov

i look at my mom with a worried look.

"has she been taking her meds" i ask her with a worried face

"she stopped taking them a month ago, she was starting to get better" she says looking at ev on the sofa.

"clearly she's not okay at the minute mom" i say looking at ev

"she was getting better jay, she can't slip again, it broke me seeing her like that"my mom says letting out a tear

"it's only been 7 months since dad died mom, that's not that long, she's not always going to be okay, plus it'll be 8 months tomorrow" i say looking at my distraught mother next to me

"i don't know how to help her jay, i want to help her" she says whispering

"i know mom, i'll speak to her okay" i say rubbing her shoulder

"thank you baby" she says kissing my forehead

"i'm gonna go shower and then i'm going into town with laurel" she says getting up

"okay" i say looking over at ev as my mom leaves.

i get up grab her favourite chocolate muffin and walk over to her

"hey sis" i walk over. she turns around and revels her red puffy eyes and tears rolling down her cheeks

"ev?" i say speeding over to her
"what's wrong" i ask

"everything" she says laughing but also crying
"fucking everything jay, i thought i was getting better, but i'm not. i woke up with the same feeling i've had since dad died. i thought it went away. i thought i was done feeling that way. and i hate living on this planet without him here, life seems so pointless jay, everything seems so dull."she says crying

"oh ev, he's looking down on you and he's so proud, no matter if you slip again or if you do good, he's always going to be proud" i say hugging her

"but he always knew what to say and how to make me feel better. i miss his hugs jay and his laugh, his smile, his eyes, mine and his dances, i fucking miss him so much" she says hugging me tighter

"i know evie, and it really is hard, it always will be. and this might not be the right time to say this but don't you think you should take your meds if you feel like thsi again" i ask pulling away holding her hands