the last summer | conrad fisher

anniversary.

i woke up just before the sun started rising. today is probably the worst day ever and so will next month and then the next. basically every time it turns a month will be the worst day. i slowly climb out of bed trying not to wake up connie. i grab one of conrad's hoodies and slowly leave the house quietly shutting the door behind me

i leave the house and the fresh air hits, it's not necessarily cold but not warm either. i make my way down to the beach observing things around me. i approach the beach and my feet touch the sand. the feeling of my feet on the sand gives me comfort. it's a place i've always loved being, as well as dad. i sigh and take a seat on the sand. i slowly pull out the joint i had stuffed in my bra and grab a lighter out of conrad's pocket. i knew the boy would have one, he always does.

i put the joint in between my lips and light it. i take a long hit and breathe it all in looking out into the water. i continue doing the same thing until i had finished it. i'm not going to lie i am a bit out of it but it's what i needed, i couldn't of started the day being sober.

i watch the sun rise and play with the sand. it's now 8:32am and the highs worn off and everyone back at the house are probably awake. i don't know wether i'm ready to go back there yet to be honest.

conrad's pov

i wake up too see an empty space next to me. the tiny person i had sleeping next to me wasn't there anymore. i get out of my bed and head downstairs.

i walk into the kitchen to find claire and jeremiah in there.

"you guys seen ev" i say looking at them rubbing my eyes

"no i thought she was upstairs with you" jeremiah says looking at me

"no she isn't in bed" i say looking back at him

"she's probably gone for a walk, you know what she's like" claire says closing the fridge turning around.

"yeah probably" i say giving a nervous laugh

"she'll be okay connie, it's our evie we're talking about" claire says smiling

"yeah i guess your right" i say smiling

"i always am" she says laughing holding my shoulder slowly letting go

somehow i don't think she's okay but i know she's going to act okay. she's always done that. hiding her emotions to please other people. it's a habit for her. a habit she shouldn't even have

Evies pov

it's now 9:14am and i finally bring myself to stand up.

i let out a big sigh and slowly turn around walking back to the house

i don't think i'm ready for any of this let alone okay. but i'm tired of them worrying about me, it's not their job to make sure i'm okay 24/7 and that i'm happy because honestly i don't think i ever will be again. so i'll just smile and simply say 'im okay' or 'i'm fine' and maybe just maybe they'll actually believe it. i think to myself.

i reach the house and take a deep breathe

i'm gonna be okay

i walk up to the house with a smile on my face opening the back door.

"good morning" i say making them all turn around

"eveeeee" jere says basically jumping on me

i let out a laugh and throw him on the floor

"ow" he says rubbing his bum

"sorry" i say laughing

"no your not" he says with his lips pouted