the last summer | conrad fisher

accidents.

it's been days and i still haven't left my room. belly sleeps in with me pretty much every night and brings me up food. jere comes and watches films trying to cheer me up but non of it has really worked. i haven't felt this lonely since my dad passed and i longed for that feeling to go. i've lived in the same hoodie and joggers for the past 4 days not having the energy to get changed or even get washed. i hate the fact of having to talk to conrad but i need some answers eventually i can't keep overthinking it all and not know why he had kissed her. maybe she was prettier or better but i truly didn't deserve that.

i made the decision to drag myself out of the bed that had mostly felt like home within these days and made my way downstairs.

i walk into the living room to see conrad sitting drinking a beer. he looks like he hasn't slept in days or even eaten a single thing.

"connie" i say waiting for an answer, but i never received one

"conrad" i say again a little louder but yet again, still no answer

"conrad i'm reaching out to you despite everything that you have done and you don't even have the decency to talk to me" my voice cracking and tears covering my vision.

as much of a surprise he didn't look up and stayed looking at the counter infront of him.

"fuck you" i whisper trying to cover the hurt in my voice. i turn towards the front door grabbing my moms keys and leaving.

i get in the car and start driving. anywhere but here was where i needed to be right now. i didn't know exactly where i was going but somehow i ended up by susannahs grave. i pulled myself out the car with tears falling down my face and sat in front of her grave on the grass.

"i miss you becks" i sighed looking down "i wish you were here to tell me what to do. how to deal with it all." i laughed looking up sadly "you were always good with words" i whispered as a tear fell down my eye "and he's your son, you know him better than anyone i just wish you could tell me why he done it or why he's ignoring me." another tear falls down my face "you always said i was bound to be with one of your boys. and it just so happened to be conrad" i cried harder "fuck i miss you" i cried harder than i ever thought possible holding my head in my hands.

after sitting for a while my eyes puffy and red due to all the crying i got back in the car and started driving away.

i started crying again and my eyes became blury. all i remember is a car beeping then everything going black..

A/n
i know it's short but i wanted the next one to be good